Emptiness Of Thought & I Am

Now the first thing I want to invite you to do is open your eyes.

Open your eyes and let the gaze be open and soft.

Don't focus anywhere,

Just let the visual field be there.

Letting the visual field open like this,

Letting the eyes not fixate on any point,

But just be soft.

You may notice immediately brings a kind of openness into body and mind.

What we want to do is exit the sense that the mind is something that's happening inside this dark place in the skull.

If you try to do these practices with the eyes closed,

It seems like the mind is more dense than it is.

So eyes open and with the eyes open,

It's kind of hard to tell what's inside and what's outside.

Letting thought arise,

It's not in there,

It's not quite out there,

But it's one space.

So you could just even take on the belief that thought is arising in the space before you.

It's just arising but not somehow within your skull.

Begin to relax into a detached mode of witnessing.

Seeing the storyteller,

So making no effort to do anything to the mental continuum,

To the thinking mind.

Begin to witness it.

Maybe like as a child,

You lie on your back and you watch clouds move through the sky.

Let yourself in a relaxed way watch the clouds,

Watch the passing of thoughts.

It takes a gentle touch because if you watch too closely,

They like to hide.

But you have to maintain enough presence,

Maintaining enough presence that they move through you as presence.

So witnessing,

You may connect with it as listening,

Listening as if to a conversation at a distance,

Listening in an open way to the conversation of your own mind.

And let thinking think,

Note that without your effort or your will,

Thoughts are arising.

The narrative or the flow of images is just happening.

It's as if the mind has a mind of its own,

It's an independent entity.

Observe how thinking thinks,

How the mental continuum unfolds itself.

And you notice the quality of the storyteller,

Of the thinker.

Is it quiet?

Is it rapid?

Do you recognize the voice?

Is it familiar?

Letting thinking think.

It may be helpful to anchor in body sensation as the point of stillness,

Maybe your heart or your belly or your feet.

And then relative to that,

Observe the thinking mind as a moving through,

Thinking mind as a motion.

I'm beginning to notice the duration of these thoughts,

Are they a flash to the unfurl slowly?

You know the beginning of a thought,

Like the earliest sprout.

Perhaps resting at the very lip of the well from which they bubble up.

Witnessing a thinking mind think,

What's the quality of that?

May be helpful to relax consciously a little bit more physically.

Witnessing the flow of the mental continuum,

Noting the speed at which they arise and disappear.

Holding this witnessing space.

How quickly do they arise and disappear?

If you're finding a thinking mind is hiding or resisting participation,

Then consciously give rise to the thought,

I am not my thoughts.

Seeing this witnessing space,

Giving rise to the thought,

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my thoughts.

You are not your thoughts.

Staying present with the flow of the thinking mind.

You may connect with the open-eyed gaze as like a frame or a window,

Holding that window steady.

As the movement of thought clouds passes by,

Simply holding the window steady.

Witnessing the thinking mind think all by itself.

And now shifting gears,

Begin the effort of placing awareness directly upon thoughts as they arise.

Touching them directly with attention,

Looking right through them very closely.

And experience what happens.

Perhaps intensifying the sense of presence.

And as thoughts arise,

Directly placing awareness on them,

And experience what happens.

It's a little bit like whack-a-mole,

You're waiting,

Alert.

Awareness directly upon thoughts,

What happens?

You may want to try deliberately giving rise to a thought and then putting awareness right on it.

It can be just a word,

An image.

Awareness directly upon a thought.

What shifts in the experience of mind as you do this?

You're doing it right.

And what's happening as you do this right?

Awareness directly upon thoughts.

If you like,

Another approach to this.

In this space of the mind,

Intensify presence as if you were turning up a dimmer switch.

Turning the knob on a kerosene lamp.

Brighten with intensity presence.

And what happens to thought?

There's a thought of this isn't working,

Put your attention directly on that thought.

Thought of I can't do this,

Put your attention right on that thought.

Thought of I'm bored,

I'm frustrated,

Put your attention directly on that thought.

Whatever it may be.

Intensify presence in the space of the mind.

What happens?

Don't make a conclusion that you're done with the practice,

That's just another thought.

Attention directly upon thought.

Thoughts arising within the space of what you are.

And if you like,

In your own timing,

Just be this intensified presence.

That which was focusing upon thought,

Don't focus it anywhere,

Just be this intensified presence.

Don't meditate,

But also don't let presence get overwhelmed by distraction.

Just be intensified presence.

This being intensified presence.

Thought of little significance,

Weighing lightly,

If at all.

As intensified presence,

You can rest in your own nature.

You don't need to flow out in any direction of the senses.

Be intensified presence resting in your own nature.

Simple,

Lucid.

You are not sure.

You are not your thoughts,

Enjoying the freedom of this.

If they're significant as presence,

You lend them significance.

So if you like shifting the body,

This is the end of the first session.

I'm going to guide us through a variation of the same practice with some differences.

This practice of the eyes is so potent,

Of course,

In the classic Zen instructions,

It's presented as an imperative to have the eyes open when you meditate.

So I encourage you to not quickly make a conclusion about whether you can or can't do it.

In the Dzogchen tradition,

They use the language setting up the gaze.

Just like you place your hands in your lap or in the meditation mudra,

You set up the mudra of the eyes,

And it's just as important.

So to flesh it out a little bit more,

Become aware as you look straight ahead or downcast at an angle.

Actually,

Horizon level is very powerful.

Without turning to look,

Become aware of the furthest reaches of your vision,

To the left and to the right.

You're opening to a wide angle view.

And not focusing anywhere,

The visual field before you is seen all at once.

Of course,

It's a little less distinct on the fringes.

But nonetheless,

You see it all at once.

Relax some sense that you're using the eyes,

That you're sending beams of vision outward to the world.

Let the eyes be more like windows so that the space and light of the world flow into you.

Naturally,

As we settle into this,

The level of the gaze moves,

Sometimes to the left or to the right,

Sometimes up or down,

And just let that happen.

As you continue,

If you do find that you lose the essence of the open gaze,

Then re-establish it.

So witnessing the thinking mind think,

Thoughts arising within the frame of the gaze,

Not being fused with thought and image,

We can effortlessly witness its flow.

And without any particular effort,

These qualities of thought are known.

Whether they're images,

Word forms,

The quality of voice of the thought,

Simply by witnessing these are effortlessly known.

Using the presentation of thought flowing through.

Seeing the arising of thoughts within this space,

Within this frame of the gaze.

Highlight the quality of impermanence.

Don't be so interested in the content of the thoughts.

Usually they've been thought a thousand times,

10,

000 times,

Just in another form.

Don't be captivated by the content.

It doesn't matter.

Notice the nature of the thought.

That's the texture of this arising and passing of thought.

Sensing the arising of image and thought,

Aware of its texture.

Does it have a texture?

Shifting if you like,

To placing attention directly upon thoughts and images.

If more thoughts come when you do this,

That's perfect.

If they vanish altogether,

That's perfect.

If you can't find attention or a thought,

That's perfect.

If everything becomes quiet and lucid or rough and confusing,

That's perfect.

Usually experiencing attention directly put upon thought.

Perhaps turning up the dimmer switch,

The brightness of attention.

Seeing the keenness of presence.

Shifting if you like,

Letting go of the relationships to thoughts and just be this intensified presence.

Not knowing it,

But being it.

It's not an object for you to know.

Being intensified presence.

Not needing to reach out to the world or reach into the thinking mind.

Resting in your own nature as intense presence.

Sustaining this intense,

But not tense,

This lucid presence.

If you like,

Activate the inquiry,

Who am I?

Not looking for an answer,

Simply activating the inquiry,

Who am I?

If you like,

What am I?

Letting the energy of curiosity suffuse.

Not looking for an answer to the question,

Experiencing the effect of activating the inquiry,

Who or what am I?

Resting in this intensified presence.

Clearly I am not a thought,

That's been established.

If I am not in that presence,

Resting exactly where it is,

Then who am I?

And if you like,

Letting the intensity of presence mellow a bit,

Let the lucidity soften.

And I just want to point out,

Make an observation about this being that we are.

Notice that seeing sees,

That simply there is no effort or self involved in the experiencing of seeing.

Seeing sees.

There's no you that is doing this.

Likewise,

With the hearing,

Notice that hearing hears.

Or if you like,

The ears hear.

You're not making any effort,

In fact you have no control,

Even if you plug your ears,

Hearing hears.

Allow any residue of being the operator of consciousness melt away.

Seeing the body feels,

The skin tingling,

A heart beating,

A breath breathing,

A life of its own,

Aware all by itself,

You are not operating feeling in the slightest.

Body feels all by itself.

Allow yourself to rest in this effortlessness,

This mystery of being without a doer,

Without an operator,

Without a self.

Feeling the creativity of the universe of life,

To do what it does beyond improvement whether good or bad.

What is this experience of being animated,

Of aliveness without any discernible self?

What is this experience of being animated?

For lack of a better word,

We could call it grace,

Or beauty,

Or mystery.

It doesn't need a name or understanding.

So,

If you like moving the body,

And don't move abruptly as if you want to carry the fragrance of your practice into this next phase of the retreat.

Letting the sense of presence continue.