Mindfulness In The Probate Court

Good morning,

Everyone,

And welcome to the Wake Up Call.

This is Judy Cohen,

And this is Wake Up Call 309.

And it's July 15th.

So I'm taking a detour from the Dhammapada today,

Which I've been talking about for a few weeks,

Because I want to talk about an experience I had in the courtroom yesterday.

So I was in court as a party.

It was about a trust.

There's a backstory.

In 1974,

My grandmother set up a trust.

My mother and her two sisters eventually became the trustees.

And now that my mother has died,

It's logical and my aunts would also like it if my brother and I stepped up into her shoes,

But unfortunately there's no succession plan in the trust.

So we had to file a motion.

And it's been a while since I've been in a courtroom.

I've never been in a virtual one before,

But I know many of you spend a lot of time there and you've been in plenty of virtual courtrooms for the last year and a half.

And also it could have just as well been a conference room or a classroom in terms of mindfulness,

In terms of the practice.

So it was a full calendar and I had so many feelings arise as I looked out into that crowd of faces.

I was right away,

I was reminded of the Satipatthana Sutta,

Which is the root text of mindfulness and which is divided into four parts,

The body,

Our sense of things being pleasant or unpleasant or not prominent enough to evoke anything much at all,

Which is called Vedana,

The mind,

And then something called the Dhammas,

Which I recently heard Professor Eshwarwan talk about as personality.

So I like that.

We'll look at these four foundations,

These four divisions of the Satipatthana in a set of wake-up calls again sometime soon.

But there's a refrain in the Satipatthana Sutta that offers the primary instruction on how to work with these foundations.

And it's considered essential in part because it gets repeated 13 times.

So the scholars say,

Well,

If it was repeated 13 times,

Then this must be the most important thing.

And it says we should abide contemplating either the body or Vedana or the mind or the Dhammas,

Internally,

Externally,

And both internally and externally.

So here's our next slide.

It says these bowling pins knocking down,

Being knocked down.

And I wish I could say that's what happened yesterday.

It's not.

But anyway,

So when I first studied this Sutta,

I assume it couldn't possibly mean literally externally in the sense of paying attention to other people.

And I actually,

I went to a couple of different teachers about this because I just couldn't believe that what we were supposed to do was focus on someone else.

But it does.

It really means that not only are we invited to pay attention to the direct experience of our own moment-to-moment process,

The way the body is feeling,

Whether the moment is pleasant or unpleasant or neutral,

Whether the mind is thinking,

What emotions are arising and passing away,

And how all of this is being filtered through our own lived experience,

Our personality,

Which is already a big invitation.

But we're also invited to actually look at other people and see what their experience is.

So I know from having made this misstep a few times,

And maybe you too,

That the invitation is not to see what someone's experience is and then name it for them,

As in saying to your partner,

Oh,

You look really angry.

Right?

So it's rather the process of simply naming internally what appears to be going on externally for others so that we can let it be.

So that we can say to ourselves,

Oh,

That lawyer looks fearful,

Or that judge seems angry,

Without getting lost in thoughts about the person or judgments about the person.

And also so that we can have a sense of humor about the fact that our own mind has this tendency to judge and get lost.

So in the practice of law,

I wonder if this practice might also provide some kind of lane bumpers,

If you will.

So yesterday in the virtual courtroom,

The first thing my mind did was to look at the lawyers and also the judge,

And then get lost in thinking about who they were,

What they were thinking,

Whether they seemed to know what they were talking about or not,

Whether they were comfortable,

Whether they looked uncomfortable,

All of that.

And then also to judge them.

This one seemed to know what was going on.

This one seemed unprepared,

That sort of thing.

And maybe this is useful.

I mean,

It's certainly habitual for me anyway.

I did it yesterday as a kind of predictor.

As a lawyer,

I did it for years to decide whether I needed to up my game or whether I could relax,

To judge how aggressive to be,

To make predictions for clients based on my judgments about opposing counsel.

And I think I was often deciding what to do based on these,

Not just in the courtroom but on the phone and emails and meetings,

Pretty much everywhere.

But what if instead we noticed the other lawyers,

The judge,

Whoever was there,

The clients,

And then noted to ourselves whatever judgments we were having.

And even developed a sense of humor about our own judging mind.

Would it help with non-distraction and keeping us more focused,

More present?

Would it support,

And this to me is really interesting,

A higher level of ethics?

Because we aren't disparaging our colleagues,

Even in the private privacy of our own minds.

It feels to me like there could be some solid wisdom in this.

And then what about compassion?

Yesterday,

I noticed that the minute I stepped back,

Compassion came through.

The lawyers looked really serious and many of them were.

Super exhausted,

And my heart really went out to them.

I know it's been an intense year.

I know everyone is working twice as hard as they ever had.

The conditions around us are really difficult.

We have the pandemic,

We have systemic racism,

We have our own families to care for.

We have ourselves to care for.

And then we have the demands of probably really busy practices,

Really busy teaching schedules.

So what happened in the courtroom is my own lawyer got really taken to the cleaners.

And first my mind judged the judge.

I was like,

Why is he being so strict?

Why is he being so strict?

I was like,

Why is he being so strict,

Why is he being so sharp?

I had some other adjectives.

Some real ill will came up,

As in how dare you make this hard for us.

And then more judgment about my lawyer's level of preparedness,

Got into that for a minute.

It really took me a minute to see all of that,

To see that was happening.

And then eventually,

Which took another minute,

To let it go.

And it was only after all of that happened that I was able to shift to clearly seeing what was happening,

To paying attention with a lot of clarity,

With non-reactivity.

I'm not saying I was able to do that the whole time either,

Right?

But that there was more of that.

So the next time you're in a courtroom or classroom or conference room,

And it could be visual,

Virtual,

Or it could be in person,

Maybe try paying attention externally,

Right?

To see what's going on with other people,

But not to judge and not to get lost in that thought,

But just to know that as it relates to whatever your own experience is.

So see what you notice about others and then see what happens in your own mind when you are focused on other people and judging other people and getting lost in thoughts about other people.

And then see if once you notice that it feels right to let go of the judgments of really of any notion who other people are,

Just to let go of that.

And if it does feel right to do that,

Then see if it supports you staying in your ethical,

Your own personal ethical,

Compassionate lane.

Just check it out.

Okay,

Let's sit.

I'm taking a comfortable posture.

I heard a teacher over the weekend I was in retreat say,

Straight spine but loose,

Straight spine but loose.

Feeling the ground beneath your feet or your cushion.

Whether it's right beneath or whether it's many stories down,

Feeling grounded.

Letting the mind rest.

Okay.

Opening then to what's here right now.

And if other people come into your field of awareness,

And it doesn't mean that they're even in the room,

Right,

But something might arise,

A thought about someone,

An image of someone.

Just seeing what the mind does.

It's not only a portable practice,

It's also part of our solitary practice.

What does the mind do when the thought of that person arises or the image?

Okay.

Let's take a deep breath.

Let's take a deep breath.

Let's take a deep breath.

Let's take a deep breath.

This is what my mind does when this person comes up.

I see this person doing this or recall this person doing that.

Let's take a deep breath.

This is no problem at all.

This is just the mind doing its thing.

And we're just investigating and watching,

Being interested,

Being curious,

But not a problem.

Okay.

And then from that place,

Being grounded and rested and open and hooked,

Making nothing a problem at all,

No problem.

See what wisdom arises.

What the discerning mind,

The wise mind suggests.

Okay.

Let's take a deep breath.

Let's take a deep breath.

Let's take a deep breath.

Thank you everyone for joining me today on the wake up call and for being together.

Lovely to see you all.

Take good care and I'll see you next Thursday.

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