The Radical Act Of Abandoning Hate

Hey everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 481.

Welcome everybody.

How are you?

There's a lot going on these days so I thought today we could explore feelings and emotions and you know from one perspective that's that's how how do we keep space open for feelings and emotions for everything that's going on that's important right now for but from another perspective it's also about liberation.

So a few things happened this week that pointed me towards this exploration.

Monday morning I got to sit with my friends and our teacher James Baras.

I think he might be here sometimes he's here and then Monday night I got to sit with the working group for law and meditation so I was with Norman Fisher and the friends there and then Tuesday I got to be with the the teachers collective for the Mindfulness and Law Society which is really an amazing group if you're teaching and you aren't part of that group yet please join us and join us at Mills at the Mindfulness and Law Society and then yesterday I was in class at Berkeley and we're at compassion and self-compassion in the syllabus right so that was my very I feel very fortunate that was my week and in all four spaces everybody including me we brought wholesome and we brought unwholesome states of mind and states of heart so right away that was comforting for me because it reminded me that I'm not alone and hopefully everybody else sort of saw that too and yeah I mean what I mean is it's pretty obvious that you know it was remembering that we're all human and or I love the way that the the late great mindfulness teacher Wes Nisker always used to say we're all just mid-sized mammals and because of that we're we're in this together you know we have all these feelings and emotions and and it also means that our feelings and emotions come and go the wholesome ones and also the unwholesome ones so the wholesome ones when I say that I mean love compassion connection generosity curiosity patience joy and and a lot of others and the unwholesome ones what I'm what I'm meaning are the states of mind and heart that fall into one of the the buckets of the three poisons right so greed hatred and delusion so greed the the mind heart that wants more or wants things to be different or wants things to be perfect or right or wants other people to be more or perfect or different or wrong and hatred which includes everything from you know slight irritation to rage all the ways that we argue with the present moment or take an aversive stance to the present moment or with or to the person in front of us or the situation we find ourselves in right and then delusion the way we tune out or you know don't give a damn and the wisdom that I hear a lot and which feels really important to me and as a kind of a practical and and you know a good first step important first step is to make space for all of that right we have to make space for all of that so in other words you know not to stifle or deny how we're feeling but to welcome it because in this moment which is so intense in so many ways we need some safe space we need space for our feelings for our states of mind for our states of heart and and even space to express those states as long as we don't cause any harm when we do and I kind of feel like it would be terrible if if in the mindfulness community of all communities you know we discouraged one another from being aware of how we feel right now or for from sharing about that in skillful ways so I think we need to do that we need to be there for one another around how things feel and you know when I when I think of working with unwholesome states of mind and heart in particular I think of rain the classic practice of rain right and everybody here probably knows rain that are for taking a moment to recognize what emotions and feelings and thoughts are present and doing that in a non-judgmental way often by flipping the sentence so anger is present rather than I'm angry or you know fear is here instead of I'm afraid and and it also means remembering self-compassion too because recognizing can be harder than it sounds at least in my experience because I don't necessarily want anger to be present or fear to be present I don't want that and so if since I don't want it I also don't want to admit that that that's my state of mind right so I feel like the R of rain it requires a good bit of courage to a kind of willingness to tell ourselves the truth about what's happening and not deny or defend or explain or justify any of those things and then the A of rain is for allow you know once once I know what unwholesome state is present you know allow is about giving it some air some space to run around maybe run itself out and and here I'm talking about formal practice right I'm talking about sitting on our cushion in a safe space because in the world you know in my office in the courtroom in the classroom at home giving ill will a lot of space isn't necessarily going to be good right it's not necessarily going to be good for the other people it's not even going to be necessarily good for me so this is informal practice the formal practice of working with rain and then the eyes investigation so partly how anger for example feels in the body or sorrow partly where it's coming from you know not so I can blame anyone but so I can gain some insight and all of this I think is for insight right we're getting we're gaining insight and then the N is for not identifying with the unwholesome state and for nurturing myself when anger is present or sorrow is present so I love this practice and I learned from it whenever I remember to use it and then this dear friend I was talking with yesterday who's also a fellow teacher but a teacher to me gulu sing reminded me yesterday that there's a next step practice right and I guess you could say it's more radical I don't know and maybe we could say that it follows rain right that we need rain first because we need the insights of rain and leads to liberation and it's it's liberation from the suffering that these unwholesome states cause us and really cause everybody around us and cause the world and the radical practice and and it's also an ancient practice and it's outlined in in the in the mindfulness texts and it's the practice of noticing unwholesome states as they arise and then abandoning them just full stop right so the instruction is to pay attention to states of mind and heart as they arise and when an unwholesome one arises just let it go just drop it and I love this this commentary on this process from the texts when one practices in this way one is called a master of the courses of thought one will think whatever thought they wish to think and will not think any thought that they do not wish to think one has severed craving and flung off the fetters and with the complete penetration of conceit has made an end to suffering and I just want to say that I feel like I got to see this in action this week in those meetings that I that I named or maybe the fruits of a lifetime of this practice in two of my teachers James in his check-in and I'd also say others in that group seemed to me at least in the in the two-hour long moment that we were together right to have had really dropped ill will to have let it go and to be speaking as compassion and wisdom in action and then Norman too he seemed free of ill will and and what I loved about Norman and this is a lawyers group and this is why I'm sharing this this is a lawyers group he's been sitting he's not a lawyer but he's been sitting with a bunch of lawyers for a quarter of a century is that he appeared to have done that but he was not in a good mood and so when he checked in he said with a lot of love I'll tell you how I'm doing I don't approve I don't approve of what's happening I don't like the harm I do not approve and so it was so great for me to hear that because it reminded me that the absence of greed hatred and delusion can also be fierce and intense and so that's good for us right that's good for us to know that and and I also thought and I still feel that that being with these two very skillful teachers that there was so much joy in the letting go of these three poisons in the letting go especially of ill will and then what came up for me seeing that was faith right because look if they can be this radical and they can be free from hate then maybe maybe we all can right okay so let's sit so finding your posture for right now whatever posture will best support you and bringing bringing real dignity to this moment that this is a moment of a formal practice not a time to let the mind wander although of course it will but a time to really dedicate to the practice to pay attention and and bring up some joy for that wow we've got this time so finding that posture and the sense of the body sitting or standing or lying down or walking around or driving but just feeling into the body for a moment how is this body right now and noticing if even right there and attending to the body any aversion arises any ill will arises I wish I didn't have that tightness in my neck or I need more coffee just anything the slightest thing and just smile because that's how it is and then let it go and finding the breath if the breath is your anchor your refuge the breath in the body or if sound is a better anchor a better refuge for you and inviting the attention to rest there and when the attention wanders because that's what it does when the mind wanders if there's any aversion any thought that that shouldn't be happening just drop it and come back if if thoughts arise or if you get lost in thought and that's not what you wanted to have happen just drop that drop that not wanting just notice oh that happened drop any opposition to what's happening right now in this moment unwelcome emotion not a problem and drop it and come back restlessness in the body drop any opposition to that and then drop the restlessness if there's worry not a problem that worry is present just drop any problem with that and then drop the worry now just out any thought any assessment of how this practice went just drop all that to you and take one last intentional breath thanks everybody for being here I hope that was fun have some fun with this take care