Contemplative Meditation by Kirsten Dochel Welcome to this inquiry where we invite gentle reflection on a chosen experience with the intention to draw learning,
Insights and wisdom from this difficult event.
I recommend this practice be done in sitting.
Be well supported with a long spine,
Feet flat on the floor and hands in a comfortable position.
It is essential that you approach this practice with a kind and gentle attitude to yourself and that you are prepared to release any attachment to a particular outcome.
I invite you to follow this practice with a low level emotionally charged experience.
For example,
You may wish to choose a situation where you felt sadness rather than grief or irritation over fury.
I do not recommend remembering and replaying unpleasant emotional experiences unless it is from an emotionally stable,
Safe place with the intention to more clearly understand self and through a lens of self-compassion and kindness.
Begin by setting the body to a place of ease.
Scan through your body in your chosen way,
Feet to head or head to feet,
Releasing and softening any muscle tension that you identify.
You may find using a word that triggers release helpful too.
Melt,
Loosen,
Let go.
I will remain silent while you consciously check through and let go any muscle tension.
Now bring your awareness to your breath.
On your next breath out,
Have the intention to make it a little longer.
No efforting here,
Just let your breath out be extended.
Notice that as you breathe in,
Your belly gently swells and as the air pours away,
The belly drops.
Soft and easy.
You are taking yourself to a state of calm.
You're awake and alert but your body resting in ease.
As we move to the next stage,
Prepare to deliberately step into both the observer and the participant role.
Invite in curiosity and interest and a sense of detachment.
In this stage,
I invite you to review the event with the following in mind.
I'm going to offer some guidelines for your contemplation and then I shall remain quiet whilst you move through the process.
Know that emotions can hold useful information.
Know that emotions come and go.
Know that emotions relate to thoughts and whilst thoughts are a real sensory experience,
They are not always true.
Know that experiencing difficult emotions is part of the human experience.
When you begin to revisit your event,
Be aware of the emergence of the emotion and pause your replay as soon as you notice the emotion arise.
At this point,
Go to your body,
Gently and kindly scan through your body and notice where and how this emotion is being experienced.
If this is new to you,
It may feel very subtle but seek the detail,
Colour,
Shape,
Size,
Movement,
Location.
Acknowledge it,
Allow it to be there.
You may even like to address it.
Ah,
Hello sadness,
I feel you.
Breathe around it and let it be.
Recall that this is just a replay,
Right now you are safe and calm.
You may notice a sense of resistance to some emotions.
How does resistance feel?
Where does it feel?
Again,
Look with curiosity.
Note the location,
The colour,
The shape,
The size,
The discomfort.
And again,
Allow it to be there.
Should you feel fear or aversion or too bigger an emotion,
It may be that a practice of self-compassion might be more nurturing for you at this time.
I encourage you to honour your intuition.
The body position to enhance self-compassion is that of your hand to your heart,
A long breath out,
A belly breath in,
Repeat it a few times.
And the use of comforting and consoling words to yourself.
This is not easy,
You are doing well,
It's okay.
And you may wish to finish the practice at that point.
If you are moving on,
You will be staying with the felt emotions.
So now,
I invite you to commence your replay.
The event,
The feelings,
The emotions from your place of calm,
Interested,
Compassionate observer.
I will be silent for about three minutes and I shall ring a bell a few seconds before the time is up.
If you wish longer time,
You may pause.
Please start.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bring your attention now back to you.
If you noticed resistance,
Did you sense it dissolve as you simply let it be there?
Perhaps you noticed a changing of the physicality of the emotions as you contemplated them.
Acknowledge that you have actually lived the experience and you may as well gain from the lesson that is on offer.
Place your hand on your heart and your belly and offer yourself comfort with kind words and tone.
This has passed.
Right now,
All is well.
As the ease comes in,
Ask yourself,
What is the learning here for me from the experience?
This is a little like casting a fishing line.
Cast the question.
And wait.
Just as with fishing,
You may catch something that doesn't really match.
When the best answer occurs to you,
There will be a sense of,
Ah,
That's it.
If nothing lands right here and now,
That's OK.
Just allow the open state to be there.
An insight may drop in later.
Once again,
I will allow a short silence as you open to your wisdom.
You may wish to imagine yourself opening as a flower opens to the warmth and the light of the sun.
If you did receive an insight,
Allow it to be absorbed and be appreciative.
Thank you for the clarity.
With utmost gentleness,
Ask yourself with your new understanding of the experience,
How could this have gone differently?
What may have been in the way of a more enjoyable experience?
Perhaps an expression of fear or self-doubt or rejection?
You may wish to replay your part in this as if you felt unbound and freed from fear or doubt.
Allow that new version of your experience to settle in.
How did that feel?
Acknowledge your inner wisdom and also your bravery for taking the time and effort to travel this process.
Tune in again to your supportive hands and bring to mind a being who loves and supports you,
An animal or a person.
Allow yourself to open to their offering of unconditional love.
Welcome the soothing flow of warmth and love into those places where you felt the difficult emotion in your body.
Congratulate yourself on taking these steps toward greater wisdom.
And now recall something that brings you joy,
Something that makes you smile.
Once again,
Place your hands on your belly and breathe in,
Intending to slow that breath out.
And imagine the breath caressing you,
Supporting you,
Supporting your heart space,
The seat of your loving wisdom.
Feel the breath reaching up to inside your skull,
Bringing clarity to your brain and to your thoughts.
Rest in this place of self-care for a moment.
And now to transition.
Gently become aware of the sounds of life around you,
Outside your space.
Become aware of your body in the chair and invite in a little deeper breath.
Start to take a stretch.
Open your eyes.
And with ease and peace,
Move into the rest of your day.
Thank you.
Best wishes.
