3 Expert Tips To Conquer Emotional Triggers And Thrive

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

My name is Lisa A Romano.

I am a life coach,

Best-selling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

So let's talk about what we can do about emotional triggers.

So I want to talk about before you actually have a trigger,

While you have a trigger,

And what you can do after you have a trigger.

So before you actually have an emotional trigger,

What you want to do is you want to address this hypersensitive stress response that you have to these possible triggers.

So you want to get out ahead of it.

Don't wait if you can.

So what I like to do,

What I have done,

Is I have actually made an inventory list of the types of conversations,

The types of language,

The situations,

The type of personalities,

The type of humor.

Because sometimes humor is a big trigger for a lot of us where people say,

I was just kidding.

You know,

What are you so sensitive for?

So you know,

I definitely have phrases that I am more sensitive to than maybe someone else.

And so I've made a list.

I made an inventory list of the types of things that trigger me.

Then what you want to do is you want to ask yourself,

Why does that phrase bother me?

Where did that phrase come from?

When did I first hear it?

What does it remind me of?

What do I think my ego was trying to protect me from?

You know,

What was happening on the level of my ego when I was triggered,

Or when I do get triggered by that comment,

By that conversation,

By that type of word,

Or that situation?

So get out ahead of it.

When you get out ahead of it,

What you're doing is you're actually helping yourself desensitize yourself to the trigger,

And it will help you in the future.

Just having the observation of it will allow you to reduce the flood of adrenaline,

The flood of cortisol that happens.

You actually get out ahead of the trigger,

And it works phenomenally.

So the more you know what triggers you,

The more you make an inventory list so that you're prepared,

The better you are to be able to handle the flood of emotions that show up,

And chemicals that show up,

That tend to take over your body while in the middle of an emotional trigger.

So let's talk about what we can do while we're in the trigger.

Let's remember what a trigger is.

A trigger is a natural response to a perceived threat in the environment.

Now that threat could be valid,

Like to our bodily harm,

Or it could be an emotional threat,

Where we're being triggered and we're feeling like we're not good enough,

For instance,

Right?

So many of us and so many of you who subscribe to this channel deal with daily,

I don't feel good enough.

So when we're put into a situation where I don't feel good enough is triggered,

We can go right into this automatic response or fight-or-flight,

And it's so important that we have tools to use when triggered.

So what I like to do when I'm triggered,

I feel like my brain is almost on fire with these hormones,

And my heart feels like it's beating out of my chest,

And I start to feel a little lightheaded.

So now that I know that,

And I'm like,

Okay,

That's a symptom.

So what happens is I have this awareness of what's happening in my body,

But my body is still experiencing those symptoms,

Because my body is like a machine in a way.

So the certain chemical has been outputted hormonally.

If I pay attention,

What will happen is my breathing will return to normal,

My heart will start to slow down,

And I will feel better in a short amount of time.

When we take awareness out of the picture,

We are the trigger.

We are the experience.

There is no separation.

We are one with these emotions,

And we have absolutely no control.

And then we're opening up all these pockets of pain to past experiences,

And before we know it,

We are reacting like we did when we were in the prior experience that created the trigger in the first place,

And we don't want that,

Because that's reactivity,

And that's not living,

And that's not abundance.

That's not creative.

Life,

Source,

And love,

And everything spiritual is creative.

It's about a creative energy.

It's about creating something new,

And triggers keep us stuck in the past.

And so overcoming our triggers and becoming aware of our triggers can help us tap into the creative power and live abundant lives.

And so the first thing you want to do is orient yourself to time and space,

Because when we're triggered,

We're literally pulled back in time,

And we are experiencing in the now,

Our body,

What we experienced in the past.

We don't want that.

We want creative energy.

We want flow.

And so orient yourself to time and space.

Where am I?

One of the things that I say to myself often is,

I'm not a brain surgeon,

And nobody's on the operating room table waiting for me to show up,

And I'm not stuck in traffic.

So really,

Everything's okay.

In this moment,

Everything's okay.

So that might help you.

The next thing you want to do is you want to take a deep breath.

You want to,

From a higher state of awareness,

Take control over what's happening in your body.

Only a calm mind can take a deep breath.

When you are triggered,

Your respiration is on autopilot.

Your body cannot tell the difference between a perceived threat and a real threat.

It can't tell the difference.

So if you feel like your foot is stuck on the train tracks,

Your body is going to respond as if it is,

But yet you're sitting down.

That is going to make you feel so,

So uncomfortable,

Because you've got all this adrenaline flowing,

And your body wants to either fight off an attacker,

Or fight and run away from an attacker,

Or a tiger,

Or a train,

Or it wants to fight the attacker off.

It wants to fight the bear,

Or it wants to fight the person who is threatening you.

And so you have all this adrenaline and all these chemicals inside of your body,

But you're just sitting still.

So it doesn't even make sense on a neurological or biochemical level.

Like what's happening is not natural.

We're supposed to run,

Or fight,

And then return to a normal state of homeostasis rather quickly.

Human beings are not designed to sustain these heightened states of stress,

And that's why we develop chronic illnesses,

And that's why we suffer from depression,

And that's why we get stuck in so many negative thought patterns,

And reactions,

And reactivity,

Because we're not designed to stay in heightened states of threat.

We're not designed to live our lives feeling threatened all the time.

And so that's why it's so important that we learn to talk ourselves down,

Take a deep breath,

Orient ourselves to time and space.

And I also like to blow out forcefully.

Like I literally,

You know,

I just collapse my chest.

I want to get whatever is blocking me out,

You know.

So try that also.

Get up and move.

Move your hands.

Rub your hands together.

Shake them out.

Move the joints in your body.

Do not let energy to get blocked.

That's what you do if you're in the middle of a trigger.

So let's talk about after.

So you've talked yourself down from this trigger.

You've identified that it's a symptom,

And you're doing a really good job talking to Amy,

The amygdala,

And you notice that you can gain control over your breathing.

You're like,

Wow,

Okay,

I recognize that.

Now after the trigger,

Remind yourself that your body and your brain are designed to protect yourself.

So anything that you perceive as a threat can cause a trigger.

But the goal is to come out of the need to live in a state of defense.

Otherwise,

On a quantum level,

We just keep attracting situations where we need to defend ourselves,

Which is not good.

So if you want newness in your life,

And you really want to master the self,

I do do encourage you to make a list of your emotional triggers and practice understanding what you're going to do if you ever get triggered.

And then imagine what you would do if you were triggered today,

And what new behaviors you can choose to help you push yourself and break through.

Because what happens is when we are in a reactive state,

We go right into behaviors that have been ingrained.

And so most of us have our own patterns of relating to stress and threats.

And what we want to do is we want to break those cycles so that we can gain control over over our emotions and we're no longer stuck.

We have to understand that gaining control over that which hijacks our ability to stay in control is definitely part of the equation.