Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.
My name is Lisa A.
Romano.
I am a life coach,
Best-selling author,
YouTube vlogger,
Meditation teacher,
And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.
I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.
My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.
May your heart feel blessed,
Your mind feel expanded,
And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.
So negative thinking,
What we all have to understand about thinking in general is that thinking is a learned behavior.
Thinking is actually about the way we actually process information.
In effect,
What we think is thinking isn't really thinking.
If you are not consciously of free will,
Dear one,
Of free will choosing your thoughts,
Then you're not thinking.
What you're doing is recycling patterns of thought that were imprinted in your subconscious mind when you were a little one,
When you didn't know you knew nothing,
Or when you knew you knew nothing,
And when you were just absorbing the way the people in your experience spoke to you.
For instance,
If you grew up in a home where mom was very anxious,
And she was always complaining,
And she was always nitpicking,
And she was always harassing your dad,
Or she was just never happy,
And no matter what you did,
It was never enough,
And all she did was complain.
That's all she did.
You were taught to complain.
You were taught a victim mentality.
You were taught self-pity thought patterns,
Or patterns of self-pity.
You were not taught how to face a challenge head on with the intent of being able to overcome the challenge,
And then feeling high self-regard because you were able to handle the challenge.
Instead,
Dear one,
You were taught that life sucked,
And that the world owed you something,
And that the only way to handle your emotions was to huff and puff about them.
As an adult now,
In your reality,
You might not be aware that when it rains,
When you get cut off by someone in traffic,
When things just don't go your way generally,
Or when people don't agree with you,
You may not realize that this victim consciousness that you absorbed as a child from mom,
You may not realize that that's really at the root of the way you perceive your reality today.
It's really,
Really crucial for you to understand that thoughts,
Unless you are consciously choosing your thoughts,
Are not your thoughts.
They're mom's thoughts.
They're dad's thoughts.
If you grew up in a home where your parents acted like the world owed you something,
Or owed them something,
And they would complain about their boss,
And they weren't the type of people that actually put their best foot forward,
If they were people who looked at the world as half empty,
Then you look at the world half empty.
When you're looking out in your environment,
Dear one,
You don't have a grateful heart because you've been taught not to be grateful.
It's really,
Really difficult,
If not impossible,
To be happy without feeling grateful,
Without feeling lucky,
Without feeling blessed.
Codependents in general,
And adult children of alcoholics,
Tend to expect others to make them happy.
If I'm married to Tom,
And I just cleaned up the apartment,
Or I just cleaned up the house,
And Tom comes home from work,
And he walks in,
And he's like,
What's for dinner?
He doesn't realize,
He doesn't validate for me how hard I worked over cleaning the apartment When I don't get that validation from Tom,
My victim mentality will kick in because that's what mom did.
If mom didn't get validated by us,
Or by dad,
She would withdraw,
Or she would complain,
Or she would take her stress out on us.
Negative thinking is a learned behavior,
And it's really important for you to understand that unless you're observing your thought patterns,
You can't correct them.
The purpose of this information today is to teach you how to learn to detach from your thoughts and observe them.
What I want you to do is begin keeping a diary of all the negative thoughts that you have throughout the day.
Look at them.
See what they are every day.
Try to find the pattern,
And then try to link to where you think that thought process actually got created.
Then what you do as you move forward,
In the days and the weeks to come,
You begin replacing the negative patterns with more positive thinking patterns.
How do you want to think,
Dear one?
How do you want to present yourself in life?
How do you want to see the rain?
How do you want to see other people?
How do you want to see your life?
Then what I want you to do is develop a meditation practice.
YouTube is awesome.
Try mindful meditations just to relax the mind and to get the mind to relax the mental chatter.
Also,
What I want you to do is before you go to bed,
I want you to take the thoughts that you want to take to bed with you.
What happens is when you take deliberate thinking into your sleep,
The brain doesn't have any conflicting data to butt up against these new thought patterns.
Every night before I go to bed,
I hug my pillow,
And I say,
I love my bed.
I'm so grateful for my pillow.
My bed is awesome.
My pillow is awesome.
I feel the bed beneath me,
And I'm just so thankful for it.
I feel the warmth in my home,
And I'm thankful for it.
I imagine myself being wrapped in love and light.
I imagine my house being wrapped in this energy ball of love and light.
I imagine each of my children being wrapped in love and light.
I imagine their cars being wrapped in love and light.
I imagine being protected,
And I imagine that I am so grateful.
I go to sleep with an abundant heart,
A heart full of gratefulness.
When I wake up,
I wake up in the same vibration.
I want you to begin taking responsibility for your emotional offering,
Which is your vibrational offering.
So if people are nasty to you,
Love yourself anyway.
Your kids don't acknowledge you,
Acknowledge yourself anyway.
Bless them anyway.
If watching the news ticks you off,
Don't watch it.
As you bring more love into your body,
More ability to love yourself,
You get lighter.
And then you begin to illuminate.
And people want to know what's up with you,
And they want to know what's different about you.
And that opens up a door for you to start expressing what you've learned about loving yourself,
And about taking responsibility for negative things.
