Transcending Ego: Coming Off The Wheel Of Karma

So today we're going to be talking about the potential we have as conscious human beings to transcend ego.

I think it's important that we all understand that ego is a natural consequence of the human mind.

It is the aspect of the personality self that has been governed by rules and norms of a family system,

Of a societal system,

And it is affected and shaped by external circumstances outside of its control.

So the ego begins to form around the age of two or three.

The ego is that aspect of our personality that's been designed to defend ourselves.

If it helps to understand the different aspects of personality,

Then it makes sense for us to think about what is the personality.

According to Freud,

The personality is made up of the id,

The ego,

And the superego.

The id can be viewed as that innate part of ourselves that's driven by instinct,

Desires that we are not responsible for,

Desires that have been pre-built within us,

Our needs,

Our need for connection,

Our need for attachment to specifically our mothers,

The need for socialization,

The need for sex as an adult,

The drive,

The innate drive for sex,

Which is really tied to survival of a species.

These are needs or desires and drives that you and I are not responsible for we incarnate with these particular drives and they're outside our conscious control in terms of what has been pre-built.

We can gain more control over these desires as we grow,

As we evolve,

And as we transform our consciousness,

And as we become more critical and cognitive thinkers.

But a child who is two years old has a very difficult time controlling these impulses.

They want the little red truck at the toy store and when a parent says no,

They have a tantrum because they are not in control over these desires and these needs of a two-year-old.

The two-year-old has been conditioned to think toys are good.

If this child gravitates towards toy trucks,

Then that becomes linked with a desire,

A want,

And a child of two years old is operating from the limbic system because their brain has not been wired for cause and effect.

It is not their fault.

They are entirely governed by their emotions and so the ego is beginning to take shape where this is me and this is what I want and I'm becoming aware that I don't have control over what I receive,

That there are powers that are bigger,

Larger,

And more powerful than I am.

And that's frustrating to a little two-year-old and that's normal.

So the ego is essentially the aspect of personality that is wanting to advocate for the id or the innate drives that we all have.

The superego,

It is presumed,

Is formed approximately by the age of five.

So the superego has now been downloaded with laws.

It understands how their system works.

It understands that they have to subjugate.

They understand that there are rules.

They understand they're not in control of these rules.

And the superego is the aspect of personality that is trying its best to govern the ego and to get the ego to act in the 3D world according to these laws that it has been downloaded to believe are the laws it needs to be governed by.

If a person is born into a loving family,

Into a family that is understanding,

Into a family that is evolved,

Into a family that understands that children are born with innate gifts and that it is best to observe the child and to nurture the child's innate gifts and to encourage the child to explore.

If a child is born into a family that allows for their full expression of emotions without punishing the child for having an emotion,

If a family understands that guiding the child and making sure that the child understands what is healthy and unhealthy,

Teaches the child how to emotionally regulate,

How do you teach a child to emotionally regulate?

You emotionally regulate.

You don't have tantrums.

You don't have fits.

You don't burst out in anger.

You don't call your spouse names.

You don't call the child names.

You're not critical of other people.

You don't scream in the car and honk on your horn and act like a three-year-old because there's traffic.

So conscientious parents will make sure that they represent emotional regulation.

That's how we teach children to emotionally regulate.

We stop.

We breathe.

We let out a big sigh and we simply say,

I'm frustrated.

I'm sad.

I'm feeling a little stuck,

But that's okay because if I just take a minute to acknowledge how I feel and give myself a break and love myself,

It will pass.

A new idea will come.

The traffic will alleviate.

I'll be able to pay this bill next week.

I don't have to figure it out this red hot minute.

I'm enough.

When we speak this way to our children,

They learn to speak that way to themselves.

However,

Imagine a child born into a family with musical talents who wants to be a drummer or who really appreciates beats in music.

This child can pick up beats.

It makes him happy.

He doesn't know why.

It just makes him happy.

He has a desire to work in the music industry,

But mom and dad are part of a construct which tells them that they have to abide by certain laws.

They have to work for the city.

They have to work for the government.

They have to work a nine to five.

And from their perspective,

This is what kept them safe and this is what secures their future.

And from a loving place,

That's what they want for their children because they have no paradigm for the music industry.

They have no paradigm for creativity.

They can't imagine how anyone could make money in the arts.

And so as their child grows and shows an interest in wanting to work in the music industry,

The parents will poo-poo his ideas or her ideas.

The parents will make fun of the child.

What are you going to do with that?

Who is going to hire you?

How are you going to make money?

And now the superego of the child believes that it's silly to follow the innate drive of the id.

And the ego of the child will conform.

The ego of the child will say,

Okay,

As a way to defend against the criticism of the parents or in an attempt to stay in their parents' good favor.

So it is now the child is locked inside this paradigm and this matrix.

And the ego is only doing what the ego thinks it should do by adhering to these norms.

And so we have this innate drive of id,

Which includes our talents,

Our innate talents,

And our desires,

Our needs,

None of which we can control.

They're at least not until we awaken and have some conscious control.

And then we have the ego that's wishing to defend the id and protect the id.

And then we have the superego that is trying to get the ego to pay attention to the norms and the rules that have been downloaded that it believes it needs to pay attention to in order to survive.

Outside of conscious awareness of the ego self,

Outside the mind awakening and observing how the ego has come into form and why the ego operates with the laws that it operates with and from,

The human being is stuck.

Stuck in a world of karma,

Stuck in a world of cause and effect.

The dreams die within this being.

Frustration ensues.

Anxiety ensues.

This person from this type of a family will poo-poo their own desire for wanting to move forward in their life.

And yet that is the path that they should be on because that is the path of ease.

That is what comes easy and natural.

That is what this child has been born to investigate.

And hopefully on the path of this child's life,

This child will start ebbing in the direction of that which brings him or her joy.

Perhaps outside of the family system when they get into an apartment by themselves,

Perhaps they will take a drum lesson or perhaps they will join a band or perhaps they will begin writing music.

And perhaps this child or this young adult will begin moving in the direction,

Getting in the vicinity of that which brings him or her joy.

And if the child keeps moving in that direction,

Eventually the momentum of their innate gifts and their conscious desire will swoop them in into a vortex of opportunity.

And this child has the potential to align with their own values.

Carl Jung would call this individuation.

When the child has now removed himself from the wheel of karma,

The child has found the field of potential to be himself or to be herself,

Which is our birthright as human beings.

And so as we transcend the ego,

We have to understand the ego first.

What is it we are transcending?

We have to understand the operations of ego.

We have to develop this idea of compassion for the ego.

What has molded the ego?

What is the ego trying to protect?

What is the voice of ego?

What is the inner narrative?

Where did the inner narrative come from?

Where did the inner narrative originate?

When I was 17,

My father asked me what I wanted to do for a living.

And I said,

I want to be a writer.

At 17,

I knew what I wanted to do and be.

And I knew that because since I was seven,

Writing was my home.

Writing my thoughts on paper allowed me to express parts of myself in ways I couldn't in language.

And I knew at 17.

And my father said,

No,

You don't want to be a writer.

You want to go into computers or you want to be a nurse because everybody gets sick and everybody dies.

And I gave up my dream of being a writer.

And it wasn't until I went through a horrific divorce after coming out of codependency and recognizing how my thinking,

The paradigms that I was living,

This ego defense way of living,

Which was codependency,

Needing to be needed,

Seeking validation,

Had trapped me on this horrific wheel of karma,

The world of cause and effect.

And I was miserable.

I was so unhappy.

But I was part of that relationship.

I was making unconscious choices.

I was not my best self in that relationship.

It certainly wasn't all my husband's fault or my ex-husband's fault.

I was part of it.

And as I awakened and I began to understand the paradigms that were governing my life,

I understood why it was I was moving more towards the dark than I was the light.

I wasn't listening to myself.

I had no self.

I had been taught to disown myself.

And as I began to awaken to the ego self,

It was then that I began to understand the inner narrative wasn't even mine.

And it was a wobbly time because when the mind awakens to itself,

It can be scary because we begin to contemplate,

Where have I been?

Whose voice is this?

And that is a moment when the dreamer within us begins to awaken.

And it can be scary because when we look forward,

There's no plan,

But there's not supposed to be because this is your opportunity to write your own story.

So understanding the ego self allows us to develop compassion for the self,

And it allows us to understand the benefit of separating ourselves from the ego self in consciousness.

And by understanding the ego self,

We have an opportunity to step into a field of potential to understand ourselves from a higher state of consciousness.

And this is part of the journey,

Part of the awakening journey of the dreamer who is seeking to live the spiritual life.

Thank you,

Dear ones,

For being here.

And namaste.

Until next time.