Welcome to this Parenting After Loss meditation track.
This track is designed for anyone who has delivered their rainbow baby and who is maybe finding it difficult to honour all of the feelings that can arise.
I too have walked this path and I'm still navigating Parenting After Loss and I understand the many different layers,
The many complexities.
So this meditation has been kindly designed to support you in this moment,
To honour all that is showing up for you and to give you some space to hold it all with compassion.
So finding somewhere to rest comfortably,
Wherever you are.
You may want to use any cushions to support the body,
Maybe a blanket if you're feeling cold.
So really just ensuring that wherever you are you feel safe,
You feel comfortable and that you won't be interrupted.
This is only a short meditation practice but it's your time.
So really allowing the body to rest back on the surface that supports your body,
Allowing yourself to feel safe and held in this moment here with me.
Getting a sense of your body now,
Of your physical body.
So let's begin with a very short body scan,
So taking your awareness to the very top of your head and just noticing any sensations as you gently scan your way down past your forehead,
Your eyes,
Your cheeks,
Mouth,
Neck,
Shoulders,
The front of your body and the back of your body,
Your arms and your hands,
Fingertips,
Your hips,
Thighs,
Knees,
Lower legs and feet.
Holding the whole of your body in awareness and welcoming in all that you find,
Areas that feel pleasant or any areas that feel unpleasant.
Bringing in an attitude of acceptance and kindness and then getting a sense of your breath as you breathe.
A really great way to connect to the breath is by connecting to the sensations that you notice as you breathe.
As your body is breathing.
So you may find that there are sensations around the nose with the exchange of cool and warm air or maybe around the mouth if you're breathing in and out through your mouth today or there may even be sensations on your skin as your clothing moves with your breath.
So as you breathe in and breathe out your body moves and that can move the garments that you're wearing which can create sensations.
So just connecting to the breath in any way that feels right for you.
The in-breath and the out-breath in this moment now.
That wonderful breath nurturing you,
Nurturing your body.
Whenever the mind wanders off which it most definitely will do just remembering to bring your attention back to your breathing as you breathe in and breathe out as best as you can.
And now gently placing one hand on your heart on your heart space and one hand on your belly.
Just taking a moment now to acknowledge the path that you have walked to get here.
Say to yourself in your mind my journey has been one of love and of loss,
Of heartbreak and of hope.
But I honor all that has brought me to this moment now.
Allowing yourself now to feel the weight of any emotions.
The joy,
The grief,
The love,
The guilt all valid and all deserving of your attention.
And as you gently breathe in the safety of this space imagining now your precious baby who is no longer with you.
Imagining them as a gentle light,
A gentle light in your heart.
And then picturing your new baby,
Their light shining brightly alongside.
These lights not competing because they complement each other.
They exist in harmony,
Both connected to you and connected to one another.
Repeating now in your mind,
My love is infinite.
My love is unending and it holds my baby who is here in my arms and my baby who is held forever in my heart.
Feel the warmth of both lights in your chest knowing that they coexist beautifully within you.
And if any feelings of guilt arise just acknowledge it.
Imagining this guilt as a cloud hovering above you and repeating to yourself,
This guilt is born of my love and my longing.
It doesn't define me nor does it serve me and I release it with compassion and with grace.
Gently breathing in and breathing out and turning your attention now to your baby,
Your baby who is here with you.
Imagining their breath and their warmth,
The sound of their voice and their movements.
And imagine saying to them,
You are uniquely you.
You are not here to fill a space but to create your own.
And I love you for who you are and I honour your place in our family.
Feel their presence grounding you in the here and the now.
Reminding you that joy and love can coexist with grief.
Now placing both hands on your chest and your heart space and repeating after me in your mind.
I am a parent of both my babies.
The one I hold in my arms and the one I hold in my heart.
I honour my strength,
My love and my capacity to feel deeply and I am enough just as I am.
Noticing the way that your chest moves as you breathe in and breathe out.
And whenever emotions are coming up for you just allow them to be there.
Everything you feel is completely valid and there are others who also understand the complexities.
Sometimes people assume that having another baby heals the grief.
It makes it all okay.
But we know as bereaved parents that this isn't true.
We know that a new baby doesn't replace the baby that is no longer with us.
And some days are so incredibly hard.
All of the milestones,
The comparisons,
All of everything that shows up.
But please know that you're not alone and that there are others that understand this pain.
I understand this pain.
I recognize this in myself.
So please honour all of what shows up for you and meet it with kindness and compassion.
So let's finish then by taking in a deep slow breath,
Breathing deep into your body.
Releasing the breath all the way out.
Gently opening the eyes if the eyes have been closed today and taking a stretch.
And I'm sending you all my love wherever you are,
Whoever you are in the world.
I really am.
You take care.
