Cultivating A Friendly Relationship With Our Body

What I have in mind is a relaxation practice.

Maybe a little bit of an exploration of radical friendliness as well.

What does that actually mean?

Notice what comes to mind.

Notice as you're noticing,

Where are you noticing that?

What's happening in your body?

What's going on in your breath?

If you still have your eyes open,

You could look around the room and notice,

Are you safe,

Are you in an environment where you're protected?

And notice if there's anything in your body that's signaling that you're not quite settled.

It could be antsiness,

Tension.

We notice and then we let ourselves settle more.

This is the first few minutes of the practice.

We don't have to be perfectly relaxed yet.

This moment,

It's more of an exploration and tuning in.

Let your mind withdraw from the outside world and move into your inner world of thoughts,

Emotions,

Memories,

Thoughts about the future.

The inner world is not necessarily this moment in time,

But let's give ourselves a couple of minutes to just let ourselves land right in this moment.

It's very normal to have thoughts about stuff going on in our life.

And of course,

Our bodies carry a history of our nervous system,

Activation,

Relaxation.

So for a tense step through the jaw,

For clenching our teeth,

It's not because there's something going on right in this moment.

Although there might be something in this moment that's making that more intense.

It's also,

It's the habits in our body that we can notice.

And then release some of that,

Take a few breaths,

Let your body soften.

And notice if your mind is bringing anything forward that you need to focus on for a moment.

If there's something really urgent,

You could stop the practice or pause it for a moment.

And for the most part,

When we check in,

We notice there's things that are not needing immediate action.

So that's a good thing to notice too.

Yeah,

There's stuff going on in my life.

There's things I need to focus on and I don't need to do that in this moment.

I have the emotional space to let things be as they are for a bit.

Let your attention move internally,

But also more into this moment.

What could you do in this moment that would help with that settling?

We give our mind something to do.

Notice your whole body from head to toes.

Notice your breath.

And when we're working with our breath,

You could do that by focusing on the nostrils,

The airflow.

You could focus by paying attention to your stomach area.

One of the first things we're looking for with breath is a continuity and an ease.

Notice if you have a feeling of acceptance,

Friendliness.

Friendliness is a bit of an odd word to put around the breath,

But it comes up for you when you think about,

I have a friendly relationship with my breath.

What does that mean,

Friendly relationship?

Part of it is we pay attention.

Part of it is we're not aggressive.

We want the best for our friends.

And we could focus in on the experience.

Notice the transitions in the breath as you come to the end of the exhalation.

Notice if you're freely letting go of the breath.

And then if you're freely letting in the new breath.

Notice if you're enjoying your breath.

And then notice that there's a whole body here.

There's your breath and the movement of your body with the breath.

And there's also other muscles.

There's the ribcage,

The whole front of your body,

The whole back,

Your arms and legs.

Our breath doesn't happen in isolation as part of our whole mind-body organism.

See if you could allow yourself to breathe in with enough volume to get a good amount of oxygen so you're not skimpy with the breath.

We're just continuing this awareness of our breath.

Are we breathing in a way that's healthy and helpful for our body?

We can align with the natural qualities of the breath.

And as we breathe out,

Let our body soften,

Relax any muscle tension.

Again,

Tune into the relationship around your breath.

If you were to say,

I have a friendly relationship with my breath,

Or at least I don't hate my breath.

I feel kind of neutral or I don't usually notice it,

But when I tune in,

Yeah,

It's okay.

I'm not feeling aggressive or anything towards my breath.

Notice just what happens when you consider that,

What comes forward.

And as you're doing that,

Continue that ease,

The rhythm,

Continuity of the breath.

And if you were to bring your shoulders up a little as you breathe in and release away from your ears as you breathe out,

Notice how that affects your experience in your body,

How it affects your breath.

The body softens as we breathe out.

Sometimes when we tense a little bit on the inhale,

We can soften a bit more deeply.

And if you were to say,

I have a friendly relationship with my neck and shoulders,

It seems a little odd.

What comes up for you around that?

Is it friendliness?

Is it neutral?

Do you hate your neck and shoulders?

Do you wish they were different?

You can keep them in motion a little bit.

You can let them be still,

Stay focused on the breath.

Stay focused on the breath.

And if there's something that you don't really appreciate about your neck and shoulders,

It could be visual.

But if there's something inside,

Like my neck and shoulders are tight or sometimes they're painful,

Would you order them to soften?

Would you bring your mind in like we've been doing and allow that softening?

Is there a friendly approach?

You could let this awareness,

This inquiry,

Move into other parts of your body as well.

If you tend to clench your teeth,

What's your relationship with the hinges of your jaw?

If you have tension in your upper back,

Do you hate the muscles of your upper back?

Do you have an aggressive relationship with your upper back?

Is it neutral?

When you tune into your upper back,

Do you notice there's a softening and a willingness to soften?

Yeah,

My body always responds when I tune in.

The tight spots start to soften.

From the body's side of this relationship,

Does it feel like your body is friendly towards you?

Does it want the best?

Does it tighten up because it wants to harm you?

Is it neutral?

Is it friendly?

Without getting too engaged in thought,

Notice what that brings to mind.

And then let the inquiry move to the background and let's just come back into this simple relaxation,

Softening.

Notice the whole of your back and the back of your head and neck,

The sides and back of your shoulders,

The back of your arms and hands,

Large muscles of your upper back.

Down through your mid back,

Lower back,

And the buttocks,

The back of your legs,

Your thighs,

Lower legs,

Your feet.

Notice as you're breathing out,

If you could soften a bit more,

If you could let yourself really settle into the support that you have for the back of your body.

And then do the same in the front.

Notice your face,

Forehead,

Eyebrows,

And eyes,

Your lips,

Mouth and jaw,

Your tongue,

Your throat,

The front and sides of the neck,

The front of the arms,

Down through to your hands.

Large muscles in the front of the chest,

The stomach area,

The front of the legs,

Down to the toes.

Notice if there's any animosity,

Any sense of my body doesn't like me or it's trying to hurt me.

There are a lot of unconscious associations when something doesn't work well or if it hurts that we associate that with there's some kind of harm,

Some kind of intention there.

Notice what comes to mind,

What does it feel like in your body?

What's your experience with that question?

And if we could trust that our body might hurt,

Might not be the size we like,

Might not be all kinds of things.

But if we could trust that our body is not trying to harm us,

Not actively working against us,

What would that open?

How might that change our friendliness towards our body?

Be aware of the whole of your body from head to toes,

The sensations,

Energy,

Interior,

Exterior.

And again,

Let thoughts move to the background.

Notice your direct experience.

You might notice there's parts that are a bit tight or tense,

You could release,

Let them soften.

We could allow our breath to be smooth and continuous,

Diaphragmatic.

And if you were to entertain the idea of,

I want to cultivate a more friendly,

Close relationship with my body,

Let's sit there for a moment.

What does that bring to mind?

Let the question sit quietly.

I would like to have a closer friendship with my body.

One of the qualities of a good friendship is that we pay attention,

We notice.

We're not the boss.

We try to be cultivating an equality in the relationship.

We're kind in the way we speak to a friend.

We care about their experience.

As we sit with this question and this inspiration,

Perhaps,

To cultivate a closer friendship with our body,

Our breath,

Our mind.

Get a sense into that,

Feel into that.

What does that feel like right now for you?

And what might be some next steps to cultivate that friendship?