Namaste,
Friends.
This mindfulness visualization trains the mind to become better aware of our feelings and emotions when in conflict situations.
On a chair or a cushion on the floor,
Sit in a position so that your body is grounded,
Balanced,
Comfortable,
And alert.
Sit with dignity like a king or queen on the throne.
If sitting on a chair,
Put your feet flat on the floor or some other stable object.
If sitting on a cushion,
Cross your legs if you can,
Or supporting your back with something stable,
Extend your legs in front of you.
Let the buttocks be balanced and firmly connected with whatever is underneath them.
Lift the spine up all the way through the crown of the head as if a string connected your parts from the sitting bones all the way up the spine to the top of the head.
Dip the chin slightly toward the chest as if holding an orange.
Let the shoulders and arms be loose and relaxed.
Place your hands on your thighs or lap.
Breathe normally.
We recognize that we're in conflict with someone because we've become emotionally charged.
Whether fear,
Anger,
Exasperation,
Or something else,
We experience a change in our emotional state that signals something is awry and requires our attention.
Yet likely no one taught you how to identify and manage your emotions,
Recognize them when they arise,
And navigate your way through them.
Most people simply try their best to maneuver this terrain on their own,
But often with unsatisfactory results.
So let's set an intention for this practice today.
For example,
You might say,
With kindness toward myself,
I am sitting to gain insight into my feelings and emotions when in conflict so that I may become more skillful and be of greater service to myself and others.
Now take three deep inhalations and exhalations.
As we exhale in this first round,
We can begin to let go of events that happened prior to this present moment.
On our second exhalation,
We can begin to let go of future planning.
And inhaling and exhaling a third time,
We become more fully present in this moment.
Now allow your body to feel more relaxed and open,
Like you were sitting in a beautiful field under a blue limitless sky.
Scanning the body,
Invite the breath into those areas of attention to encourage their release.
Place your attention now more fully on your breath,
On the place in your body where you most readily and deeply connect to it,
Such as the belly,
Chest,
Or nostrils.
Let your breath be your anchor.
If at any point you find the visualization too overwhelming,
You can simply let it go and return to the breath moving in and out of your body.
As you breathe in,
Know that you are breathing in.
As you breathe out,
Know that you are breathing out.
Follow the entire breathing cycle.
As you breathe in,
Notice the pause at the top of the breath.
As you breathe out,
Notice the pause at the bottom of the breath.
And try to observe the breath with a sense of gentleness,
Presence,
And open awareness.
Continue to try to let go of any tightness you might be feeling in the mind or in the body.
And as you bear witness to this process,
Try not to control,
Judge,
Or criticize whatever might be arising.
Simply observe as you breathe in and out.
To begin the visualization,
Imagine a big fluffy cloud in a bright blue sky.
This cloud can support you and imagine yourself sitting in that cloud.
Next,
Visualize a time when you were in conflict with someone at work.
It could be a colleague,
Someone who reports to you,
Or someone to whom you report.
Choose a conflict of light intensity and scope,
Avoiding those which can feel like an existential threat or simply too overwhelming.
If you can't identify a light work-related conflict,
Choose one from other areas of your life.
As you sit on the white fluffy cloud,
See yourself below,
In your office,
Your cubicle,
At home or elsewhere,
Engaged in the remembered conflict.
Try to generate specificity around the conflict.
Where were you?
Who else was involved?
Try to get a sense of the conflict unfolding and your experience in it as it did.
What was happening?
What did you say?
What did others say?
What was your demeanor?
Try to see yourself and others as clearly as possible in the conflict,
But don't worry if the details are difficult to visualize.
Even if you can't see the event clearly,
See if you can get a feeling for the tone of the experience,
Similar to how you might feel when you awaken from a vivid dream.
As you do this exercise,
Try to refrain from judging or criticizing your experience.
Like you would a dear friend in distress,
Just be with yourself,
With care and compassion.
If judgments or criticism arise,
Just note that you're thinking and gently return to your breath and the remembered conflict.
As you observe the drama unfold,
Draw your attention to the emotions you were experiencing.
And it's okay if this isn't precise,
But you're trying to capture the tone of the feelings you were having as you sit here remembering the conflict.
Maybe you were feeling afraid,
Inadequate or angry.
Try to tune into your emotional state as you watch yourself below from the perch of your white cloud.
Continue remembering the conflict along with its details and especially your emotional state.
If at any time this seems overwhelming,
Know that you can simply let go of the visualization and return to observing your breath.
Continue watching and being with the drama as it unfolds with yourself,
One of the main players.
You're trying to become more aware of what's going on inside yourself.
In this case,
Your feelings and emotions when in conflict.
Now slowly release your awareness completely of the conflict and gently turn your attention back to your breath and the present moment.
Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations to encourage this letting go.
Continue following your breath and let yourself become more fully aware of your surroundings.
Cars honking,
People talking,
Even aromas from someone's cooking.
As you continue to sit,
Allow yourself to feel a sense of accomplishment and gratitude for taking the time and having the resources to develop and train your mind.
We ought not to be afraid of emotions and deny their existence.
Our emotions are important messengers and they provide valuable information.
In the days ahead,
As you reflect on this exercise,
Consider what feelings and emotions you identified and the messages they might be sending.
We'll conclude this mindfulness visualization by dedicating any positive energy that we've created here today to all beings so that they may be happy and free.
Namaste.
