Prenatal Self #5

Guided Meditation 5.

1 The Prenatal Self.

A note of acknowledgement.

If you feel any reservation or discomfort about connecting with your prenatal self,

Then simply skip this meditation and return to it when it calls you.

If you enter the meditation and find that it is more upsetting than you had anticipated,

Gently stop the meditation and return to your breathing,

Making any feelings and needs guesses that your upset self would like to receive.

Beginning the meditation.

Begin with your sense of existing as a physical being,

As the adult that you are now.

What parts of your body come to mind first?

Is there any pain or discomfort anywhere that draws your attention?

Does your back hurt?

Or is your stomach full?

If you have found discomfort,

Acknowledge what you have found and ask your attention if it is worried about that part of your body,

If it is longing for your body's well-being.

Thank your attention for its care for you and for its vigilance.

Ask the body part that has discomfort,

If it is scared and needing to know that it is appreciated and noticed.

If your body seems sad,

Ask if it needs support for mourning or acknowledgement of loneliness or if it has a longing for shared satisfaction of partnership with you.

Now allow yourself to notice your baseline level of anxiety.

What is the level of consistent tension or agitation in your chest or in your stomach?

The one that is always there.

What about the large muscles in your arms or your legs or in your shoulders?

Are these muscles tight or relaxed?

And notice your face.

What is happening with the muscles of your face?

Between your eyebrows,

Around your mouth?

After scanning your body for consistent levels of tension,

See if your attention is willing to come to your breath.

Let yourself breathe and count,

Starting again at one when your attention wanders,

But moving on to the next part of the meditation once you've breathed 10 to 15 times.

Invite your attention to move to fuel your imagination now.

Let a part of yourself slip into your past,

Into the tiny prenatal body that you were inside your mother's womb.

What is it like there?

Are you warm or cold?

Is there enough room?

Does it feel empty,

Lonely,

Or is it cramped,

Or does it feel just right?

What is happening for your mother?

Is she anxious,

Tense,

Upset,

Or afraid,

Or is she relaxed and at ease?

Does she have support or is she alone?

Is she experiencing financial security or is she worried about stability?

And what is it like to be the little one inside her?

Can you sense what your own experience might have been?

Shift your attention to the part of you that can see yourself from the outside and regard yourself with warmth inside your mother's womb.

How do you feel about this tiny prenatal infant?

Do you feel some tenderness?

If you do,

Then let another part of yourself inhabit your resonant self-witness to become a golden light of warmth and reassurance that enters the womb space to cradle and nestle this little being with love and gentleness.

If you do not feel tenderness for the prenatal infant,

See what happens if you move back farther in time to the preconception spark of your being and see if you even ever agreed to exist on this planet.

If you have not felt tenderness for your prenatal self,

Disregard the rest of this meditation and focus on this essential spark with guesses about how it is for it to enter this life.

If you do have tenderness for your prenatal self,

Your self-witness now has an opportunity to acknowledge whatever you are sensing about your prenatal experience.

Here are some possible resonant guesses for your little one.

If they do not feel right,

Make your own guesses about what this prenatal self is experiencing and what its truths are.

Are you warm and do you feel just right?

Are you cold and do you need warmth?

Do you feel cramped?

Do you long for responsiveness and space to move?

Do you feel anxious and alone?

Would it be lovely to have a sense of presence with you?

Is there a great sense of ease and a deep sense of sinking into accompaniment with your mother?

Are you lonely and afraid?

Do you need safety and tender protection?

Are you worried and do you just want your mama to be okay?

What happens in this tiny body as you hold yourself with this care?

Are you relaxing?

If this little one begins to relax,

You can even see if he or she or they would like to come away with you to be forever nestled in your heart.

Sometimes the little ones don't want to leave their mothers.

Sometimes the little ones don't want to leave their mothers.

They're perfectly happy there,

In which case just leave them to stay and be nestled.

If for any reason there's a sense of anxiety that you would like to have the baby be somewhere else,

Then you can let this little one know that they can come with you.

Sometimes they're worried about leaving their mothers,

In which case you can bring the mother along as well and tuck both of them into your heart.

You can let this little one know that you have already survived this pregnancy,

That you have to survive the birth,

That you have survived your life,

And that you are a grown-up now.

You can let this little one know that they belong with you.

Let them know that their mother can come too,

To be nestled and loved in the golden light of your heart,

Whether the mother is living or dead.

Sometimes the little ones are afraid that our heart will be no warmer than our mother's womb may have been.

If this happens for you,

Go into your heart yourself and tell the little one what you find there.

If it is cold,

Tell your younger self that you will heal your heart into warmth and then come back and make the invitation again.

However this younger part responds to you,

Stay in a resonant understanding place,

Holding on to and offering hope for healing and reunion in the future,

Or celebrating connection now.

Whatever has happened in the meditation,

As you begin to come to a transitional place,

Make sure you have given the infant self as much care and support as this little one will accept.

Now begin to reconnect with your present time adult body,

With your breath,

Your lungs,

Your ribs,

And the small movements that you make with your breathing.

Before you fully re-enter your present life in your own time,

Notice what has happened in your body overall with the anxiety that you were noticing in the beginning of the meditation.

Is it the same?

Is it slightly different?

Whatever you notice,

Appreciate yourself for your presence,

Your commitment to healing,

And your care.

And with gentleness,

Re-enter your regular life.