Trauma & How ONE Sentence Can Change Your Life! #241

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday show,

Your show for an inspired and meaningful week.

Today's episode is on trauma and how one sentence can change your life.

I wanted to bring this topic up.

Of course,

I'm only going to scratch the surface trauma is a big,

Big,

Big field.

And one of the reasons that I wanted to bring it up is I'm going to share something that happened to me the other few just a few days ago,

I got triggered with something but it was so profound and relevant and beautiful to watch that I wanted to share that with you to also convey how one sentence or one incidence can cause trauma without you maybe even knowing.

Now I want to make a distinction.

Oftentimes,

When people hear the word trauma,

They are associated with like the big trauma,

Sexual abuse,

Rape,

Beat up like the really severe things that might cause trauma.

Now trauma is caused by very different things and can also be created by so to say from from the outside looking from the outside,

Looking very small.

And what is trauma to begin with?

And how can we prevent it also?

The other day,

I was communicating with someone and something happened that it reminded me of something.

When we think about trauma,

From my perspective is when we grew up when you are a little boy or a little girl,

You're young,

You're very vulnerable,

You absorb everything,

We are very,

Very vulnerable to the outside environment.

And what doesn't look now like something that could be hurtful can be very hurtful for someone that is very small,

Very sensitive.

And basically without boundaries.

When we grow up and we are little we are like a sponge,

We absorb everything,

A word,

A look,

A sentence,

Even something that you might see on TV or somewhere that you observe somebody else can cause trauma.

It can be little things.

And why does it happen?

From my perspective,

When we experience something that is scary,

Confusing,

Shameful,

Terrifying,

Any of that sort,

And we are not understanding the situation and we are alone with it,

We don't have an outside person or someone that holds space that can help us to go through what we're feeling,

We are not able to process those feelings in that moment,

We are not able to integrate those feelings in that moment,

The psyche grabs it and freezes it in some way.

So it stays hidden out of protection.

And then later on,

When you are an adult,

It still is operating somewhere in your subconscious mind in your system,

In your energy system,

In your emotional system,

And maybe something from the outside triggers it.

And it's as if you go into a time machine,

And you are triggering that trauma from the past.

And that's how you feel in that moment.

I'll give you an example that just happened a few days ago.

I'm communicating with someone that I like and so back and forth,

And it doesn't even matter what the topic was or anything,

But at some point,

I got a message and I noticed how I closed up,

It triggered something in me.

And in that moment,

I knew right away,

Had nothing to do with this person.

And because I am a scientist within myself,

And I love the inner work,

And I have that level of self awareness,

I was digging in and said,

What is it?

I felt closing up.

And so I let that be,

I worked through it a little bit,

But I kind of let that sit there for a while just to observe what's going on inside of me what was triggered,

And then a memory arised,

A memory that I or an incident that I worked in the past with,

Because even though it seemed like such a small thing,

It had a huge impact was one sentence,

One sentence.

And the memory was that I was I was little to know exactly how old I was,

I was maybe around eight years old.

And of course,

By the age of eight,

We are already so full of things.

We are conditioned,

We are programmed,

We are on so many levels already traumatized,

Little,

Big.

And I was sitting in my room,

And I was playing.

I was by myself,

I was sitting on the floor,

And I was playing by myself being a child.

I don't know exactly what I was playing or what what I was playing.

But I remember the door opens.

And my mother comes in and looks at me and says,

Don't you have anything better to do?

What happened?

It seems so it's the tone,

The energy,

That opening the door looking at me as if I was doing something wrong.

Don't you have something better to do?

This is only one example of many of those.

In that moment,

Here's what happened as a child that I can now see because of the work that I've done.

And because I can now track back and tune into that in a child,

This young girl,

First I felt the first reaction was,

I did something wrong.

I'm supposed to do something different.

I felt judgment,

I felt shame.

And then I also felt confusion.

Because I felt my mom was upset.

I was supposed to do something else.

I didn't know what and I didn't understand why she was upset.

It had nothing to do with me.

She was upset with my dad.

Like,

We don't understand that as children.

We don't have that whole self awareness to understand,

Hey,

My mom is just upset because she's going through something.

No,

I froze a little bit.

I really felt that he said,

I stopped breathing for a moment felt bad.

And even though she said,

Don't you have anything better to do?

I really didn't know.

And because it was cause it was in that moment when I was playing,

I was spending time with myself playing.

And this happened.

So it was also associating with playing is not okay.

You got to do something better than that.

Now how that internalized for me.

And of course,

There were also already things in place.

It was not only that one moment,

But that store that moment,

Keep come kept coming up over the years when I was doing work on myself and was tuning back what influenced me in the past.

And that one sentence caused me to feel not only that I was doing something wrong,

So I was obviously doing something wrong,

I was supposed to do something different and how we internalize that as young children as narcissistic as we are in that moment,

We ourselves self aware and like self absorbed means that I am wrong.

So something is wrong with me that stayed with me for so long,

And just came up when I was triggered and the beauty of it.

When you had to do the inner work and you have the self awareness,

And you can hold space for it,

You see it as an opportunity to heal this,

There's something coming up for healing,

Instead of just reacting.

Because if I wouldn't have done the work if I wouldn't have been aware of this,

If you if you get caught in a trigger,

And you do not have the capacity to hold space for yourself to understand it,

Then you will react and often that causes a disconnection.

And then that's how we close up.

That's how we disconnect.

That's how we create distance.

And for no obvious reason,

Because nothing happened on the outside that was justifying it,

It was just a trigger.

So I wanted to share that with you,

Because it's so profound,

How sensitive we are,

And how important it is to be mindful.

Also,

Maybe you have children,

Or it could be anybody that you might say something and you and this person gets triggered or responds a very strong way that you understand.

Instead of saying,

Well,

I didn't,

I didn't say anything and go into a fight to really see,

Okay,

There's something going on in the other person,

Because the other person is getting triggered,

And it has nothing to do with me either.

So it's,

It's both ways when you get triggered,

And you have a strong response,

Any type of very intense,

Strong response,

You can bet that there is wounding underneath that there's some trauma that you get to look and to heal,

And it's coming up for healing.

So it's also a good thing.

In a work is a good thing.

Also,

When you do something and you see someone react very strongly,

That there's something underneath because what happens is,

It's like a trance nearly.

So one moment,

You are sitting with someone you are 20 years old 3060 7080,

Whatever year or whatever,

How many years you are,

And you opposite your friend,

Your partner,

Your work colleague,

And you're having a conversation as adults,

And then suddenly something happens,

Some trigger happens,

One closes up or gets upset.

And then it's as if you drop into that younger self part,

And you are in that consciousness.

And everything that you do comes then from through the eyes of that wound through the eyes of that trauma.

And again,

This is just such a small little piece.

And just to give you one other example that I was sharing,

Like talking with a friend,

And she shared also that when she was younger,

She liked to paint and draw.

And so she was young and she drew like a self portray something really beautiful.

She was happy with it.

And she was young and she was super excited.

And she ran downstairs to her dad.

And so he had a daddy look,

How great great great.

Yeah,

So little kids do something.

And they're super excited.

And so her father looks at the painting or picture or drawing and says,

Yeah,

That is very good.

I wish I would have so much self arrogance.

Something around those,

Like,

I don't remember exactly,

But it was like,

First that,

Oh,

Here,

I'm so excited to show my dad what painting I did.

And then one sentence,

Just collapsed here completely.

Learning,

Okay,

Liking someone,

Finding something good that I created is not okay.

So creating something and also owning it as being arrogant,

And many other things.

And for the longest time,

She didn't paint anymore for the longest,

Longest,

Longest time,

One sentence,

One sentence can change your life forever.

And it doesn't have to be those big,

Big,

Big moments where we think,

Oh,

Gosh,

I'm coming from a huge,

Dysfunctional,

Traumatized family.

It's one sentence,

We are also sensitive,

And especially when we are children,

When we grow up and we are in this world,

And we are kind of naked,

Open,

Vulnerable,

One sentence can change your life forever.

And I invite you to tune in next time you get triggered.

Next time you feel that there's something hitting that is painful,

Or trying to just tune in and become curious,

Become curious and check what might have happened or is there a memory or is there a sentence?

What is the sentence that's coming up deep inside in deep inside of me that might have caused that in the first place?

I would like to hear from you.

What are you taking out of this conversation today?

Do you have those moments?

Do you have a memory or a sentence?

Maybe something pops up?

And how can we also work through that and also prevent it if you have children,

For example,

One of the things that I also see often is we don't take it serious.

That's also very painful,

Especially for children,

Because for them,

It's always very serious,

Right?

And it's not about Oh,

My God,

Taking it too much over the top.

But instead,

For example,

Like,

Don't cry.

You know,

It's not just a bad thing.

There's nothing to cry.

That can already be traumatizing for a child because the trauma as a child might be scared or terrified for whatever reason,

You might have been scared or terrified for whatever reason,

Many times.

It's a scary world,

It's okay to be scared.

And then you want to hold space instead of judgment or shame,

Or it's very unintentional,

Obviously,

They don't mean it with the with any bad intentions that are just a no better.

The sentence that can change your life forever is the sentence that can cause the trauma.

So I don't have a sentence for you that can fix this.

My point is that one sentence can change your life forever,

Because it might have traumatized you.

And now you have the opportunity to do the work to find that discover it,

Heal it.

So that when you have next time a trigger,

Instead of just being in reaction,

You actually have consciousness and the skills and the tools and I've shared so many skills and tools and so many in so many other episodes.

So go back,

Check out all the episodes on how to handle challenging emotions or triggers.

So many that countless episodes around how to release that and to handle that better.

For today,

It was to be aware that one thing can carry all the way.

And you might not even be aware of it.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Let me know what you're hearing that is landing for you.

What is your takeaway?

This is not an episode about solutions or healing trauma with just one sentence.

This is about awareness,

About digging deeper about taking also taking yourself on,

Instead of having judgment around being triggered,

Triggered,

To use it as an opportunity.

What is happening with me right now?

It was that I was so grateful afterwards.

It was like,

What's really I took the time.

So here's a little formula that you can use when you get triggered and you feel like this might be trauma based.

First,

You take a deep breath,

And you allow yourself to breathe through it.

And you give it space and you approach it with curiosity,

Instead of judging yourself that you get triggered and that you should do something different.

And then you take it inward and you ask the question,

What is happening inside of me?

What am I feeling?

And you allow yourself to simply be open and see what's coming up and you do the work,

You get to do the work.

It's so hidden that this frozen trauma pieces are hidden in the unconscious,

They're the protector selves,

Our protection mechanism,

Are hiding them deep.

So you might not find them by yourself.

So you get to do the work,

You can do the work with me or with someone else,

But do the work if you don't find them by yourself,

Because they're very hidden.

And then when you resolve that,

It's such a delicious feeling of gratitude and understanding and then the possibility or the capacity to open up again.

Because without doing that,

You're gonna stay closed,

The system stays closed,

And you might not even understand what happened.

So let me see if you have any questions.

And take a moment to just tune in with yourself.

What's your biggest takeaway today?

What's your biggest takeaway that you're gonna grab and take with you for this week?

What did inspire you?

What did resonate with you?

What's your takeaway?

And leave me a comment.

And if you are not on the live show,

And you're listening to this later on,

And you're not having a comment section,

Leave me a review,

Send me an email,

Share with me honest feedback.

I always love to hear from you.

If you have a takeaway,

I'm going to take one or two takeaways and then I will let you go and have hopefully a very inspired and meaningful week.

One sentence that have traumatized me is don't talk so much.

Be quiet when adults are talking.

Thank you for sharing such a good example.

Such a good example.

Don't talk so much.

Yeah,

Be quiet.

Very good.

I mean,

Not very good,

But good that you have that awareness that you can work on on that one in particular.

I see so many possibilities in this to stay open.

Yeah,

To stay open.

Yeah.

And in order to stay open,

You gotta connect to what is underneath the trigger.

Well thank you so much for being here today.

I appreciate you.

I love you.

We all carry trauma on some level.

It is part of our human existence and we get to do the work to peel off the layers so that we can stay open and you keep our hearts open.

Because often we close up to people that are really close to us or that we love because something got triggered and it doesn't even have to do anything with them.

As a past wound from our own childhood and when we resolve that,

It's really also a path to liberation and freedom and peace.

And of course,

Meditate.

Take a deep breath,

Love yourself and have a wonderful day.

Much love.