Cultivating Love Here And Now

We'll do today a loving kindness meditation.

And I thought I would say a few things about loving kindness by way of introduction.

For those who are not familiar with this practice,

It's traditionally done by repeating phrases.

May you be well,

For example,

Which we'll use in the meditation itself.

And the idea is that you try to generate these well wishes,

These feelings of kindness,

And you kind of create these widening circles beginning with those for whom those feelings are easier to generate and then moving out to others for whom it might be more challenging.

And many find that these practices can really have a dramatic effect on consciousness of being able to generate this feeling of love and well being.

And for some,

It can actually become your principal meditation practice that you're just focused exclusively maybe for a period in developing these wholesome qualities of heart and mind directly.

The critical mind,

I think often will look out and see whether it's in our own lives or relationships or in the wider world,

That there's not much kindness there.

There's not much love there.

And the critical mind that will take this turn and say that basically we'll look for someone to blame.

And that if you kind of look at yourself,

You say,

Well,

Like,

Gee,

What's wrong with me?

Like,

I don't naturally feel these,

This outpouring of kindness or goodwill or to my relationships,

Like whoever it is,

You know,

Gee,

What's wrong with my relationship or to the world,

Of course.

But from some of the great spiritual traditions,

There's a different turn that you can make where you flip the camera around and ask yourself,

Well,

Can I be the locus of change?

And I know we often are speaking from Eastern or Buddhist sources in these talks,

But I thought I'd pick a couple of examples from the Christian tradition,

From the 16th century Christian mystics,

St.

John of the Cross,

He said this,

Where there is no love,

Put love and there you will find love.

Where there's no love,

Put love and there you will find love.

And from the prayer of St.

Francis of Assisi,

Lord,

Make you me an instrument of your peace where there is hatred,

Let me so love where there is injury,

Pardon,

Where there is doubt,

Faith,

Where there is despair,

Hope,

And where there's darkness,

Light,

And where there's sadness,

Joy.

And finally,

There's a popular song by Matthew West,

Which starts with someone complaining to God about all the suffering in the world and demanding to God,

Like,

Why don't you do something?

And the song says,

The response from God comes back saying like,

I did,

I created you.

God says,

That's what I did.

Meaning that I made you to be a person who's aware of these things and knows that something's wrong and that things have to change.

And we know from neuroscience that the brain is remarkably flexible and that we can cut these new neural pathways every time we dwell in the good.

And little by little,

We help the mind to default there with every time that we can send kindness to someone else.

As the Buddha said,

Drop by drop,

The bucket is filled.

But you know,

The actual experience of loving kindness practice,

I think is not when you're consciously extending goodwill to someone else is not so much of digging a trench,

Like digging a new neural pathway in your brain,

But rather it's kind of connecting to something that's already there.

Like you feel you really tap into something that is about the way the world is constructed.

That this,

You know,

This kindness or this goodwill,

You start to feel like is an independent force that you didn't create that you can just dip into and connect really with what's at the center of the universe.

So these practices are really intended to be something that you can play with or experiment with.

We'll try some of these phrases that I mentioned.

But you shouldn't take them as the only way that you can do loving kindness practice.

It's really in trying to find for you what is the way that you can awaken this kindness in the heart or this feeling that you can actually dwell in love in whatever way that works for you.

It could be in a word or a phrase or it could be in an image or it could be just in feeling that you can directly access this source in some way.

The last thing I'll say before we get started is that this is by no means a second class meditation experience that you know,

Like the first class is the,

You know,

Seated with the eyes closed watching your breath or your body sensations or something and like this is like the like the poor cousin of that kind of meditation.

You know for many people this is their primary meditation practice or it could be just for a period in your life.

This is your primary practice.

You can go and just sit for a whole week in a guided retreat and just do these practices.

Or you can just rely on them periodically in your life when you feel that there's some sort of darkness that you want to try to overcome.

Starting that line from St.

John of the Cross again where there's no love,

Put love and there you will find love.

So why don't we give this a try together.

We can begin just by checking in as we usually do with the posture.

See if you want to make any adjustments.

See with your feet on the floor,

With your hands resting gently at your side or in your lap.

Sitting in a way that the spine feels aligned and maybe just moving your head from side to side a few times and finding a place where it can just rest gently on the spine.

I feel into a posture that's for you.

It's receptive and open.

And if you feel comfortable you can gently close your eyes.

And for a moment just feel yourself arriving here.

It's important to fully arrive,

To feel that release and ability just to take in whatever's here with a kind of freshness and interest.

Realize that this is a new moment that's being created afresh.

And in this opening you can feel the breath coming and going.

You as the witness,

Aware of the waves of breath,

Coming to shore and then receding all in a very natural,

Organic way.

The breath back and forth,

Bringing life to the body.

Seeing the rising and the falling of the chest,

Body naturally opening to each in-breath and gently relaxing with each out-breath.

Now bringing to mind someone who has always affirmed who you are,

Someone who has supported you,

Encouraged you,

Has helped you in some way,

Might be a grandparent or some other relative,

Could be a teacher,

Mentor,

Someone who has believed in you,

Has seen you for who you are and who you could be.

Can bring that person to mind and sense again the affirmation you feel just being in their presence.

And silently you can direct these phrases to them.

May you be well.

May you be at ease.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you be happy.

May you know deep peace.

And for a moment,

Feel that person receiving those phrases from you.

Feel their gratitude in this mutual exchange of care and love.

Now calling to mind someone you don't know that well,

Could be someone you passed on the street today,

A neighbor you rarely see,

Cashier at the grocery store.

Just bring one such person to mind,

Imagine who it is,

And silently direct these phrases to that person.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be at ease.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you know deep peace.

For a moment,

Feel that person receive those phrases from you.

Let them land,

And just sense how they affect things.

Now calling to mind a person you feel some discomfort around.

Don't select anyone who has done you true harm,

But someone with whom you feel some tension or some inability to connect.

And bring that person to mind.

See who it is.

And into that space where you feel some tension,

Silently direct these phrases to that person.

May you be well.

May you be at ease.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you be happy.

May you know deep peace.

And for a moment,

Feel that person receive those phrases from you.

Feel how they might open up the space and change how you see that person.

Now bringing to mind some being who you sense naturally radiates love.

Could be a person such as the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa or the Buddha or Mother Mary or Jesus or just some simple humble person you know who radiates love.

Picture that person.

Imagine yourself in their presence.

Feel the love that surrounds them.

Just feel bathed in that love.

Let it wash over you.

Feel that glow.

Just be open and receptive to what's here.

Is it possible to communicate with that love without any words or phrases?

Just feeling the heart connection.

You and it communicating back and forth.

Every time you draw a breath.

Feeling that love.

Feeling the way it has the capacity to fill you.

Bringing to that natural flow or outpouring.

You might also sense the love simply in stillness.

In any moment you pause.

There's a stillness where all things naturally rest and nothing is happening.

It's simply quiet.

There's nothing to say or do.

And you sense in that space,

That empty space,

A deep background of love.

Feeling love is a fabric from which everything is made.

The molecules,

The atoms,

The galaxies,

The expanse of space.

Love has inside everything.

Love.

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