Emotions Matter. Really!

Welcome to Emotions Matter Really talk.

In this talk we're going to explore what emotions are,

The effect they have on our emotional well-being as well as our physical well-being and what happens when we bury,

Avoid or numb them.

We'll also introduce you to Shape of Emotion,

The mindfulness and bodyfulness based tool we use in our emotional fitness classes.

Hi,

My name is Matthew and together with Chantelle our mission is to make the world a better place by enabling the how.

How to be more accepting,

How to not feel guilty when I choose me,

How to not be so hard on myself,

How to deal with anxiety,

How to better digest criticism.

And before we get into the main body of the talk,

Here are a couple of questions for you to think about.

Have you ever had an argument with your partner or spouse?

And what about a cold?

Ever had one of those?

More about that later but first let's get into some science.

Don't we all love the science behind any work?

Right,

The science.

So let's talk about what emotions are.

Emotions arise with mind and body meat.

Emotions are a mind-body response triggered by events,

Memories and thoughts.

Emotions are felt in the body while your brain makes meaning of these bodily sensations in relation to what is going on around you.

And we can get it wrong.

We can misinterpret what we are feeling.

When we feel something we call an emotion it activates a neural network simultaneously throughout the brain and body producing hormones and chemicals that influence behavior on a conscious and unconscious level.

Physiologists Claude Bernard and Walter B.

Cannon theorized that the body's physiological and biochemical responses are all aimed at maintaining the organism in balance.

Cannon coined the term homeostasis and proposed that all physiological responses to forces that threatened homeostasis were meant to correct the imbalance.

Homeostasis would be when we are calm and centered,

Not on a high ecstatic jumping for joy or on a low lashing out in anger or whirring with anxiety.

So it's when we're neutral,

Measured and neutral.

Candace Pertz's research showed that when emotions are expressed all systems are united and made whole.

They are in homeostasis and we quote,

When emotions are repressed,

Denied,

Not allowed to be whatever they may be,

Our network pathways get blocked,

Stopping the flow of the vital feel-good unifying chemicals that run both our biology and our behavior.

This is the state of unhealed feeling we want so desperately to escape from.

Drugs,

Legal and illegal,

Are further interrupting the many feedback loops that allow the psychosomatic network to function in a natural balanced way and therefore setting up conditions for somatic as well as mental disorders.

So can stress really make you sick?

The term stress as it is currently used was coined by physician and physiologist Hans Selye in 1936.

He defined it as the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change.

So can stress really make you sick?

The real question is,

Do the hormones and chemicals released during a stressful event change the way our body defends itself?

So what happens during a stressful event?

The stressful event triggers the release of a cascade of hormones and chemicals into the body.

Nerves that govern the heart,

Gut and skin are affected as an example.

Your heart beats faster,

The hair on your skin stands up,

You start to sweat,

Maybe you feel nauseous.

Also your attention becomes focused,

Your vision is clear,

There's a surge of power to run.

All this happens very quickly,

Sometimes within three minutes.

But if stress is prolonged,

These chemicals and hormones continue to pump out and the same molecules that activated you for the short sprint now start to debilitate you.

Cortisol shuts down the immune cells responses and puts them on mute.

This is only supposed to be for a short period of time,

But when the stress continues we are less likely to be able to fight invaders that cause infection and disease.

Inescapable exposure to many different stresses at the same time,

For example a move,

Changes at work,

Increased care load at home,

Extended lockdown,

Concerns about income and education,

All can lead after many months to extreme exhaustion.

What we call burnout.

Chronic high stress can shut down reproductive hormones in men and women.

Women who experience prolonged bouts of depression experience a weakening of bones.

All the hormonal and nerve pathways that kick in when we are stressed interfere with the way immune cells cope with disease leading to a higher probability of illness.

COVID anyone?

Bearing all of this in mind,

It becomes clear that it's as important,

If not more important,

To deal with and manage and regulate the immune and regulate our emotions to be and remain well physically.

But do we?

Some of us do,

Like all of you,

You attend guided meditation,

Possibly you do some form of exercise,

Maybe you journal,

Take a quiet time out for yourself,

Eat well and drink plenty of water.

However,

Many of us do other things to deal with our stress,

Anxiety,

Depression,

Anger,

Grief and so on.

We say that this is banning our emotions.

Bury,

Avoid or numb by overeating or eating too much sugar and carbs,

Drinking too much alcohol,

Taking drugs illegal or legal,

Too much sport,

Shopping,

Computer games,

Mindless screen time as well as social media binging.

Why don't people take more care of their emotional state?

We think there are two main reasons.

Although there are one too,

People really don't know how other than potentially the current approaches of medication,

Therapy,

Meditation,

Exercise,

Good diet,

Rest and regular breaks.

Some of it works some of the time,

But nothing works all of the time.

And time is often the constraint here.

The other reason is that people don't want to deal with their emotions because it is just too painful and unpleasant.

Because of the stigma and the perceived need to be vulnerable and expose oneself,

It all feels just too messy.

So we ban them.

We bury,

Avoid and numb in a variety of creative and not so creative ways like binging,

As we've said in a multitude of ways,

Eating,

Drinking,

Partying,

Shopping,

Netflix,

Computer gaming,

Drugs,

Etc.

And this is where shape of emotion comes in.

It is easy to do,

Gentle and content free.

There is no need to tell anyone what you are feeling or why.

It can take as little as 15 minutes to dial down a difficult or negative emotion and even less to dial up a supportive or positive one.

And done regularly,

Your emotional resilience and your emotional fitness will improve.

And so how does shape of emotion work?

The first step is feel the emotion.

Second step,

To find it in your body.

The third step is to observe what this feeling looks like.

And then the fourth step is to use the touch points to either down regulate or up regulate the emotion.

So let's go through that one by one.

When we ask you to feel an emotion,

We mean that you need to access and feel it.

We don't need you to label it.

You can if you want to,

But you don't need to.

You may know that you feel anxious,

You may feel depressed,

You may feel angry,

But you also may not know exactly what it is that you feel.

And so for us,

It is not necessary to label your emotion.

For us,

What is very necessary is that you are able to feel it.

And we do ask that you feel it during the process.

The next step is to find it in or around your body.

Now,

Our emotions show up in our bodies or around our bodies.

So it could be inside,

In our gut,

Chest,

It could be outside,

It could be on our shoulders,

Neck,

Head,

It could be around us.

So we ask that you find it in or around your body.

And this is sometimes quite a novel step for some people who have never really realized that their feelings show up in their body.

We did say that it was somatic bodyfulness process,

And that's part of that.

The third step is to observe your feeling.

Observe your emotion.

And what this means is that you mindfully,

Without analysis or judgment or expecting an outcome,

Go inwards to observe what this emotion looks like.

And it is an observation,

It's not a visualization.

We ask that you take the stance of the objective observer and just watch to see what shows up.

The fourth step is to touch,

To release and let go,

Or open and embrace.

We use 14 touch points on the face,

Torso,

Arm and hands.

All of these are from traditional Chinese medicine and are acupressure points,

Each of which access a specific part of the body and the parasympathetic nervous system,

Which induces calm,

The rest and digest signal.

We recommend that Shape of Emotion is done as a daily practice and it can be done in the moment.

The more you do it,

The better your emotional resilience,

As well as your emotional fitness becomes.

If you'd like to experience Shape of Emotion,

Then please join us at an emotional fitness class.

And now we come back to those questions that were posed at the beginning.

If you have an argument with your partner or spouse or significant other,

You are inhibiting your body's ability to heal by up to 60%.

It's far better to kiss and make up and support your body's healing process than to do the proverbial going to bed angry.

And what about the common cold?

So-called because so many of us get it and often it's easier to catch it when you feel stressed.

And if you engage in supportive emotions,

Positive emotions,

More than negative ones,

And you develop your emotional resilience or emotional fitness,

You stand a lower risk of catching it or developing it.

This talk covered a little bit of the science and the research behind emotion.

It looked at the effect that emotions have on our health and our physical well-being,

As well as what happens when we try to bury,

Avoid,

Or numb negative emotions.

We also gave an overview of Shape of Emotion,

A bodyfulness and mindfulness tool that you can use to release and let go of stuck emotions.

We hope you enjoyed the talk and look forward to welcoming you to our next emotional fitness class.