Freeze Response: Somatic Healing & Nervous System Regulation

So hi everyone and thank you for joining me.

So today we are going to explore something that affects most of us and that's the terrible moment when someone raises your voice at you and you completely freeze.

Now let me paint a picture that might feel painfully familiar.

Someone is upset with you.

Maybe it's your boss,

Your partner,

A family member or even a stranger.

Their voice gets louder,

Their energy becomes intense and suddenly something happens inside you that feels completely beyond your control.

Your mind goes blank,

Your throat closes up and words that were moments ago,

They vanish.

Your body now feels frozen like you're trapped.

You want to respond,

You want to defend yourself,

You want to explain,

You want to speak up but you cannot access your voice,

Your thoughts or your power.

You might stand there looking calm on the outside while your inner world is in complete chaos.

You might feel yourself shrinking,

Becoming smaller and helpless and then after a moment passes,

Self-criticism begins.

Why didn't I say anything?

Why am I so weak?

Why can't I stand up for myself?

Anyone else would have had a comeback,

Would have defended themselves or would have stood their ground.

If this resonates with you,

I want you to know something crucial right from the start.

You are not weak and you're not broken.

What happens when you freeze is one of the most intelligent survival responses your nervous system possesses and it's called the freeze response.

It's a neurobiological reality and it has nothing to do with your character or your worth as a person.

Now in very simple terms,

Your nervous system has three primary responses to perceive threat.

Fight,

Flight or freeze.

Most people are very familiar with fight or flight.

The surge of energy that prepares you either to confront a threat or to run away from it.

But freeze is equally important but much more misunderstood.

Now freeze response happens when your nervous system determines that fighting won't work and fleeing isn't possible.

And I'll say that again,

Fighting won't work and fleeing isn't possible.

And in those moments your body makes an incredibly intelligent decision.

It shuts down and it's shutting down to conserve energy and to protect you from further harm.

Your thinking brain goes offline because analysis won't help in a moment of survival.

Your voice disappears because speaking might escalate danger.

Your body becomes still because movement might trigger more aggression from the threat.

There is a possibility this response likely developed early in your life.

Probably in childhood where you were genuinely powerless in the face of raised voices,

Anger or emotional intensity.

Your little nervous system learned that freezing was the safest option and it was probably right at that time.

But here's what's happening now.

Your adult nervous system is still running that childhood survival program.

Even in situations when you're no longer powerless,

You do have choices.

You are safe to speak and move and respond.

Today we are going to help your nervous system understand the difference between then and now.

We are going to restore access to your voice,

To your power and your choice in moments of conflict.

Not through your willpower or positive thinking but through gentle somatic practices that speak directly to your nervous system in the only language it understands.

The language of the body.

If this resonates,

Find a comfortable position for yourself.

Sitting up,

Lying down,

Even standing if you want to.

Just feel comfortable and feel safe,

As safe as possible.

I now have a comfortable position,

Most comfortable position given where I am and I feel as safe as possible.

I am just taking some time out today for my body.

This is self-care for me.

Just letting my words guide you.

You can soften your gaze,

Close your eyes or keep your eyes open,

Whatever you want to do.

Let's begin by understanding what actually happens in your body when you freeze.

Because this knowledge alone can begin to shift your relationship with this response.

Place one hand on your heart.

Place one hand on your belly.

Take a few natural breaths and feel your body in this safe space.

With a little bit more stillness now,

I am going to invite you to think about a recent time or even if you have a past event or a memory,

Whatever comes up is fine.

When someone raised their voice and you froze.

But we are going to do this very gently with a lot of awareness and care for your nervous system.

If at any point you feel overwhelmed,

You can just pause this meditation.

Do whatever you need.

Bring to mind a situation when someone raised voice,

Triggering your fear response.

There may be a person in your life right now,

Where you experience this.

There may have been a time in your past when you experienced this.

Don't go deeply into the memory.

Just touch the edge of it.

Just gently introducing this,

Dipping your toe into the water,

Testing the temperature.

Even as you think about this situation,

Notice what happens in your body right now.

Do you feel maybe your breathing becoming shallow?

Your throat is tightening or closing?

Your shoulders may be tensing or rising?

Maybe just an awkward energy in my body.

Just let that response come in your body.

There's no right or wrong to experience this.

If you have any sort of activation,

This is your freeze response activating,

Even just from the memory.

Your nervous system is incredibly intelligent and it remembers and prepares for similar situations.

Now here is something crucial to understand.

This response developed only to protect you.

At some point in your life,

Probably when you were young and vulnerable,

Freezing was actually the safest thing to do.

Perhaps you learned that speaking up when adults were angry led to more anger directed at you.

Maybe you discovered that staying very still and quiet helped volatile situations pass more quickly.

Perhaps your little nervous system figured out that disappearing,

Even while physically being present,

Was the best way to survive these storms,

These emotions.

So you were not being weak.

You were just brilliantly adaptive to an environment.

You didn't have the power to fight or an option to flee.

Fighting is not an option and you cannot flee.

The body did what it had to do and a response was created.

But our nervous systems don't automatically update its software.

The freeze response that protected you may still be active,

Even in situations where you do have power,

Where you are safe to speak and where you do have choices.

Think of it like this.

Your body is still trying to protect that vulnerable child within you,

Not realizing that you are now an adult with resources,

Options and the right to take up space and use your voice.

Let's work directly with your nervous system now.

Still thinking gently about the memory of freezing,

Place both your hands on your heart now and let's speak directly to the freeze response.

You can receive my words,

Repeat them silently or repeat them out loud.

Thank you for protecting me.

Thank you for keeping me safe when I was powerless.

You did your job perfectly.

Thank you for protecting me.

Thank you for keeping me safe when I was powerless.

You did your job perfectly.

Feel these words landing into your body.

Your freeze response isn't your enemy.

It's just been trying to take care of you the only way it knew how.

Now before we can access your voice and power in moments of conflict,

We need to help your nervous system feel genuinely safe.

Freeze happens when safety is absent.

So let's begin by creating safety from within.

Let's practice what I call internal safety anchoring.

Ways to signal to your nervous system that you are safe even when external circumstances are threatening.

Now first,

Let's work with your breath.

When you freeze,

Your breathing becomes shallow or stops altogether.

Conscious breathing can help you stay present and connected to your power.

You may have both hands on your heart already.

You can move one hand down on the belly,

One hand on the chest,

One hand on the chest,

One hand on the belly.

And we are going to now practice breathing that activates your vagus nerve,

Which is the major pathway of your parasympathetic nervous system,

Which simply governs your ability to feel safe and calm.

Breathe in naturally through your nose.

Feel your belly expand like a balloon and then breathe out through your mouth.

We'll do this again.

Breathe in through your nose,

Belly expanding and breathe out through your mouth.

Just continue this.

There may be a sound that you are making or you can make as you breathe out.

And that sigh of relief,

The sound vibrates through your chest and through your throat.

In through your nose,

Belly expands and up.

Just notice how your body feels after these breaths.

You are restoring sensation to areas that go numb during freeze.

Now let's work with your posture and your body position.

Now freeze often involves a collapse or a shinking of your physical presence.

And we can counteract this simply by consciously reclaiming your space.

So sitting up or lying down.

Imagine roots growing down from the base of your spine deep into the earth.

Roots going down from the base of your spine deep into the earth.

Feel yourself anchored,

Grounded and stable.

You can now imagine your head being connected to the sky.

Maybe it's a golden thread,

Your head connected to the sky.

Gently lengthening your spine,

Helping you take up your full space.

Now let's roll the shoulders back and down.

Roll the shoulders back and down.

Back and down.

Open your chest.

This is the posture of someone who has the right to speak,

Right to be here and right to take up space.

Place your feet firmly on the ground.

Feel your connection to the earth beneath you.

You are not floating in space,

Helpless and ungrounded.

You are connected to mother earth,

Gaia,

Floor,

Life,

Something vast and stable.

And let's call this your power posture.

Grounded and present.

Now let's restore your connection to your voice.

During freeze,

Your throat or your throat chakra or your throat energy center which is connected to your voice and your truth shuts down.

You can keep one hand on your chest and bring the other hand on your throat.

Just gentle soft touch on your throat.

Feel the warmth of your own touch there.

Your voice lives here.

Your truth lives here.

And your power to speak lives here.

Feel the vibration in your throat.

Any adjustments,

Alignment that needs to happen.

This is just your throat realigning itself so it feels safe to speak.

You are reminding your throat that your voice exists.

Your throat is open and it has the capacity to speak.

Now as we have made these subtle changes into your body and your nervous system,

We are simply going to practice staying present and grounded while imagining someone raising their voice.

But in a completely safe environment where you have all the tools available.

Now this is what we call pendulation in somatic work.

So gently moving between an activated state and a calm state.

Helping your nervous system learn that it can stay online even during challenging moments.

So for this very very gentle exercise,

Return to your safety anchors now.

Feel your feet on the ground.

Feel your feet on the ground.

Rest your hands on the heart.

Lengthen your spine from earth to sky.

Feel your feet on the ground.

Rest your hands on the heart.

Lengthen your spine from earth to sky.

You are grounded,

You are safe,

You are present.

Now we are going to very gently,

Briefly,

Imagine someone raising their voice at you.

But this time instead of freezing,

You are going to practice staying connected to your body and your power.

Imagine someone speaking to you now with intensity of frustration.

Don't make it too extreme.

Just enough to touch that familiar feeling of freeze starting to activate.

Feel it.

And as soon as you have done this,

Immediately return to your safety anchors.

Feel your feet on the ground.

You are not a powerless child,

You are a grounded adult.

Feel your spine connecting from earth to the sky.

You have the right to take up space.

Keep breathing.

Keeping your throat and voice alive.

Hands on your heart.

You are not alone.

You are connected to your own loving presence.

Now once we have activated the safety anchors,

From this grounded place,

Imagine yourself responding.

Not with aggression or defensiveness,

But with presence and clarity.

Maybe you can say,

I can hear that you are upset.

I am willing to talk about this,

But I need you to lower your voice.

Or,

I want to understand your concern.

Can we speak about this calmly?

Or simply,

I am here,

I am listening and I am not going anywhere.

Any changes,

Shifts in the body,

In the breathing,

Just let that happen,

They all are part of your realignment.

Or your nervous system healing from old,

Learnt,

Conditioned freeze responses.

Feel the difference now between responding from freeze and responding from groundedness.

When you are frozen,

You have no choices.

But when you are grounded,

You have many options.

You are very welcome to pause this recording now,

If you are in some process and if you are still having some shifts.

As we complete this healing journey,

Take a moment to feel yourself here in your body,

Grounded and present.

Feel your voice living in your throat.

Not as something you have to fight or earn,

But it's your birthright.

Your voice is yours.

Your truth is yours.

You have the right to take up space and be heard.

The next time someone raises their voice at you,

Remember this moment.

Remember what it feels like to be grounded in your body,

Connected to your heart and aware of your choices.

You don't have to freeze,

You don't have to fight and you don't have to flee.

You can stay present,

Stay connected to yourself and respond from your adult wisdom rather than your childhood survival patterns.

Your nervous system is always learning,

Always adapting.

So every single time you practice staying grounded instead of freezing,

You are teaching it something new.

Every time you use your voice instead of losing it,

You are updating your old programming.

When you are ready,

You can gently wiggle your fingers,

Wiggle your toes,

Open your eyes and return to your day,

Return to your night.

Grounded in your power and connected to your truth.

So I hope you found this beneficial and it gave you some insight.

Thank you very much for joining me today and Namaste.