Is This Yours To Carry?Family Healing & Emotional Boundaries

So hi everyone and thank you for joining me in today's practice So if you've ever felt sad without knowing why or maybe worried about things that don't seem to be your responsibility maybe felt guilty for being happy or maybe you carry and act out fears that you feel are too big for your own life experiences if so then you're not alone sometimes we carry emotions fears or burdens with us that don't actually belong to us they might belong to our parents our grandparents or other people in our family who we love deeply we pick up these feelings because we care because we are sensitive or simply because we are part of a family system where emotions naturally flow between people so in today's practice we are going to explore a gentle question is this mine to carry so think of your family like a river that's been flowing for generations now sometimes things get dropped into this river upstream like fears traumas sadness worries and they flow down to everyone then who comes after you might be carrying they are all just examples your mother's anxiety about having too much money even though your situation may be different your father's fear may be of not being good enough even though you've accomplished everything you set out to your grandmother's sadness about a loss that you have never experienced in your journey or maybe it's your family's guilt about past events that happened before you were even born other common examples fears about success happiness limiting beliefs in relationships and love that don't often seem to match your actual life and your circumstances now the principle is families share experiences experiences families share emotional experiences now the question that we'll explore today is which ones are actually yours to carry now there are a few common signs that you might be carrying something that isn't yours you might notice emotions that feel too big for what's actually happening in your life fears about things that you've never experienced guilt about being happy successful or even different from your family worries that seem to belong to an older generation sometimes feeling responsible for other people's emotions or their happiness another example having physical tension or heaviness that doesn't seem to have a clear cause now these feelings are real but they might not be entirely yours so through this gentle practice of asking let's explore this idea today is this mine to carry find a comfortable position sitting up lying down close your eyes if that feels good for you and just take a few gentle breaths allowing yourself to arrive here in this moment every breath that you take coming home to your body coming home to the now and now feel yourself being supported by whatever you're sitting or lying on now you don't have to hold anything allowing yourself to be held by the floor by the chair by the mat and feeling that relief as you breathe out allowing your body to feel heavy to feel relaxed noticing my breath noticing any sensations i may have in my body and just being watching witnessing and observing our intention for today's journey if there is anything that i may be carrying that doesn't belong to me through gentle loving awareness i'm just asking for that to be to be shown to me now bring to mind something that's been feeling heavy lately or something that may have already shown up for you and we set the intentions this might be a worry that keeps circling in your mind maybe a sadness an anxiety about something specific a fear about the future maybe it's guilt maybe it's feeling responsible for someone else's well-being just let it come to you whatever feels heavy in my life right now and whatever is in my awareness in this moment now when i have that thing i'm now going to notice where you feel this heaviness in your body is it on your chest like a weight on your heart is it on your shoulders like a burden that you're carrying or is it on your chest or is it in your stomach like a knot or a worry or maybe it's in your throat words that you can't speak simply notice where this feeling lives in your body and completely trust what you're being shown now with curiosity and kindness ask yourself this you can either repeat this after me or just receive my words whatever feels right for you is this mine to carry is this mine to carry is this mine to carry is this mine to carry now don't rush or try and get an answer just let the word settle in and see what shows up for you the feeling in your body may now get a bit more intense or it may have shifted or dissipated sometimes the answer to this question is yes that the feeling belongs to my own experiences and it's for mine to feel and work with but sometimes you might sense very clearly that this feeling has a different quality like it came from somewhere else and it's older than my own experience if this feeling doesn't seem to be entirely yours gently ask who does this belong to whose might this be who does this belong to and with the words you might get a sense of your mother or father a grandparent that you knew or never knew someone in your family that you knew or you never knew or maybe someone specific who struggled with a similar issue trust whatever comes up even if it's surprising and even if it doesn't make sense to your conscious mind your intuition often knows things that your mind hasn't and will never be able to figure out now if you sense that this feeling came from someone else in your family let's take a moment to honor that person you might silently say or receive my words I see that you carried this it must have been hard I understand why you felt this fear,

Sadness,

Worry I love you and I see your struggle I see that you carried this it must have been hard I understand why you felt this fear,

Sadness,

Worry or whatever emotion is coming up for you I love you and I see your struggle and just notice what effect these words have on that feeling in your body now this process isn't about blaming or judging anybody it's about deeply recognizing that they had their own reasons for carrying these feelings now for this beautiful part with love and respect you can offer this feeling back to where it belongs now once again you might say this or you can just receive my words this belongs to you I give it back with love I don't need to carry this to love you I can honor your experience without taking it on as my own and now with these words with these powerful words in my heart imagine,

Sense or see gently lifting this feeling from wherever you've been carrying in your body and offering it back to the original owner with love,

Honor and kindness anything that you're experiencing right now trust that completely it may just be feeling a bit more relaxed in your body maybe taking a breath or it may be having a particular experience come to mind trust now with the space that you've created ask yourself what is actually mine to carry in this situation what is actually mine to carry in this situation and maybe there is still something there a feeling or a concern that is genuinely yours based on your own life experience and that's okay those feelings are valid and worth your attention but notice if what remains feels lighter more manageable and more clearly connected to your actual life now the space in your body where you were carrying something that was not yours as you have lifted,

Shifted and healed that today imagine now filling that space in your body with your own light with your own energy with your own truth now this might feel like warmth and softness in your chest lightness in your shoulders a feeling of calm in your stomach and the freedom to speak your own truth feel yourself now for the next few seconds reclaiming the energy that was being used to carry someone else's burden now in your awareness if you're aware of something that you think doesn't belong to you that you think is connected to a parent,

To a grandparent,

To an ancestor you can explore that by asking yourself is there a place for this mind to carry?

What would it feel like to put this down?

And with the process that you've learned today simply bringing that person into your awareness and saying I give this back with love I can love you without carrying your pain this isn't mine to fix and to reclaim our own energy I choose to carry only what's truly mine my energy is for my own life and I can be caring without taking on everything now some people worry that putting down family burdens is selfish or unloving but consider this carrying someone else's burdens doesn't actually help them it just means now there is two people in the family struggling instead of one taking on family pain doesn't heal it it just keeps it alive you can love your family deeply without carrying their emotions and love doesn't require you to take on suffering that isn't yours and when you carry only what's truly yours you have more energy to offer support to others in your family when they need it now as you practice this gentle awareness and you might be feeling some of this now you might feel lighter and more like yourself you might feel like you have more energy for your own life clear boundaries between your feelings and other people's feelings less guilt about being happy and more space to feel your own emotions now as we close this practice rest in the knowing that you now have a choice about what to carry you can love your family your ancestors deeply care about their well-being and offer support all without taking on emotions and burdens that belong to them now this journey is not about becoming uncaring but it's about more authentically caring where support comes from your own centered energy rather than carrying anybody else's pain and burdens now as we close you can place both your hands on your heart and take a moment to appreciate yourself for being willing to look at what you're carrying it takes a lot of courage to ask these questions and wisdom to recognize that you can love someone without taking on their burdens you are allowed to feel light you are allowed to feel happy even when others struggle you are allowed to carry only what truly belongs to your life experience now taking a deep breath in and feel what it's like to carry only what's truly yours and whenever you feel ready now you can gently open your eyes knowing that you can return to this practice anytime you feel that this familiar heaviness might not be entirely your own now we remember you can deeply love without carrying everything you can care without taking on what's not yours and you can honor your family while still living your own authentic life so thank you very much for joining me and namaste