State of the Soul Part I: Finding Parts of the Soul

In this session and the next,

We're going to explore a roadmap that helps us answer the question,

What is the state of my soul?

By identifying a specific facet of us,

Creating space to understand the multifaceted landscape of our souls holistically.

This can be helpful in a season when part of us knows the right Sunday school answers about God and our faith,

But another part of us is hurting,

Tired,

Or frustrated in a way that doesn't line up with how we think we should be feeling.

We'll walk through a meditation in this track to connect with a specific part of us.

And in the next,

We'll build on this as we consider where this part of our soul is in relation to God and what this part of our soul might need in cultivating deeper communion with God.

So you can look for part two after this to continue that work.

These two meditations are designed to be used together,

And they're also designed to be used more than once,

Whether it's to connect with different parts of the soul or the same specific part in a different season.

These are so helpful when we feel stuck,

Especially in relation to our faith,

Experiencing internal conflict or just the stuckness in trying to connect with God.

If at any point this guided meditation feels overwhelming,

I encourage you to pause and go take a walk,

Giving yourself space to ground.

You might also consider bringing this to a counselor or trusted mentor or friend if it feels like too much to navigate alone.

I'll pray before we dive in,

And I invite you to take some nice deep breaths as I pray.

Lord,

Would you calm our being and ground us in your rest and peace?

Anchor our souls in the way that only you can.

Pour out your mercy on the parts of us that might struggle to slow down or connect inside.

Would you embrace every part of us,

Helping us receive the grace you extend to us?

Not viewing these exercises as something we do to get to you,

But instead as a chance to slow down and see your face and your presence mercifully with us exactly where we are.

Amen.

Now you can let yourself get situated,

Getting your body comfortable wherever you might be sitting or laying down,

Starting to fill your lungs with air.

You can purse your lips so that your exhale is slow and controlled.

We're going to start with some guided breathing here so that we can explore a part of us from a grounded place.

With each inhale,

You can let the back of your spine lengthen,

Allowing for space in your abdomen to take an even deeper inhale.

And if any of this breathing doesn't feel comfortable or safe for any reason,

Let yourself just notice that and return to a rhythm of breathing that works for your body right now.

So you continue those nice deep breaths or whatever breaths work for you.

Notice any thoughts or emotions that feel difficult to step back from.

Anything that's taking over your mind or even your body.

Noticing if there might be a current of anxiety through your gut or a tension in your back.

Noticing any thoughts that feel like hamsters spinning on a wheel with no stopping in sight.

Continue those nice deep breaths and start to gently experiment with exhaling any tension,

Anxiety or stress that is inside of you right now.

If it feels natural,

You can even ask any of these things if they'd be willing to step back and allow you some space to breathe more deeply.

You can also pray,

Asking God to create space for you to breathe more deeply.

And anything that is bringing a sense of calm or peace,

Continue to breathe into this for a couple more breaths and exhaling out any distress,

Tension or overwhelm that might be present inside right now.

And as we start our guided imagery now,

I encourage you to keep your eyes closed if you're comfortable to help you create concrete imagery as we connect with the facet of the soul.

As you continue breathing throughout,

I invite you to imagine there's an old movie screen in front of you playing a film.

And on this film,

There's a movie playing.

And that movie is a scenario from your life.

You can imagine that you are sitting in a chair in the theater several rows back from the screen.

You can take a moment to bring to mind a specific scenario where you felt some sort of uncomfortable or overwhelming emotion.

Maybe you felt stuck,

Frustrated,

Hopeless,

Ashamed.

This might have involved an interaction with a co-worker,

A loved one,

Roommate.

Or maybe it was a situation where you were alone.

And if it's hard to think about a specific scenario,

You can think about the last time you had a disagreement with someone or a time you were feeling lonely or disconnected from other people.

And with curiosity,

Imagine sitting back in that theater chair and watching this specific scenario play out on the screen in front of you.

Simply noticing what imagery does your mind construct?

Any part of this that doesn't connect or connect quickly,

That's okay.

Just notice that.

We all connect with imagery and visuals differently.

So please know there's not a right or a wrong way to engage with this exercise.

Be exactly where you are.

As you're imagining watching this on the screen,

Notice what you feel in your body or what you imagine the you on the screen is feeling in their body.

Is there a tightness or heaviness anywhere in the chest,

Neck,

Throat,

Gut?

Are there tears behind your eyes?

A sense of electricity or a lightning bolt going down your spine?

Or a sense that you're frozen?

Taking a nice deep breath,

Notice what kinds of thoughts might be going through your mind.

You might consider if there were a thought bubble above you on the screen,

What would that version of you be thinking in that specific scenario?

Maybe something like,

Here we go again.

I can't do this anymore.

What's wrong with me?

Hide,

Run away.

Maybe it's something like,

Where is God?

Why does no one care?

Or anything else that might come to mind.

As you continue some nice deep breathing,

With curiosity,

Notice what this part of you in the film is feeling.

Do they feel mad,

Sad,

Scared,

Maybe even panicked or overwhelmed?

Do they feel disoriented,

Numb,

Abandoned,

Unseen or helpless?

Is there any other emotion,

Even if it doesn't have a word to identify it,

That you notice the you in the film is feeling?

If you're noticing the film version of you seems to be kind of taking over what you're thinking and feeling right now,

I encourage you to take a deep breath.

And again,

Imagine that you are sitting several rows back in that theater,

Watching this play out on a screen.

This is just one way that we can allow for space to noticing what's happening inside of us without being overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions that might otherwise flood a part of us and then take over our entire being.

Taking deep breaths can also stay grounded.

That's why we're pausing and moving slowly and using this imagery.

At any moment,

You can pause and ground a bit more on your own if that would feel helpful.

And with a mindful inhale and exhale,

Next consider if there could be other movie clips from other times in your life or other scenarios where a part of you was thinking or feeling similar things to what you're imagining on the movie screen here.

You might consider if this feels exactly the same as another scene or interaction of your life.

It might feel like this is a clip that repeats over and over in different contexts or with the same person over and over,

Maybe feeling stuck in a role or story you don't want to be in.

Maybe you can't put your finger on it,

But you know this is not an isolated scenario playing out in front of you.

It somehow feels familiar.

However you're experiencing this,

Let your mind be curious about stringing together other experiences where this part of you,

This facet of your being,

Has felt similar things.

This helps us get a clearer picture of a part of us that we're focusing on,

Understanding the thoughts,

Feelings,

Body sensations,

And life experiences that are all interwoven into this particular part,

And really this perspective we can find ourselves in.

Helps us map out the landscape of our soul,

Understanding what has shaped the curves,

The contours of this corner or depth of our soul.

One really helpful piece of this is to ask the question,

How old is this part of me?

Even if we just had an argument with a loved one as an adult last week,

The part of us that shows up in those kinds of scenarios might be a younger part of us.

Some people call this an inner child or inner child work.

In parts work,

It's really common to realize many parts of us are younger,

And these younger parts of us don't always know that we have actually grown up to be an adult.

The perspective of these young parts is that we are still young.

This is sometimes referred to as a part of us being time stamped in the past or being stuck in a previous time or trauma time.

Even if we don't know why,

If we ask the question,

How old is this part of me?

We might have a sense of clarity that this seems to be a small child or teenager or other age that fits with these other pieces that we're stringing together.

Again,

This can be the case even if the scenario we're imagining just happened yesterday or last week when we were an adult.

Before we close,

We're going to notice two more things that can help us get an even clearer picture of the part we're identifying here so that in the next meditation,

We can be more specific in how we invite God to care for this part of our soul.

Alongside everything else that you've noticed,

I encourage you to also notice the impulse for the part of you that you've been watching on the screen.

Does this part of you want to run away?

Do you sense this part of you wants to fight someone or something,

Stand up to someone or stand up to something?

Does this part of you want to shut down,

Melt or hide?

Does this version of you go silent,

Submitting to what's happening until it's all over and you can breathe again?

Does this part of you just want to keep the peace and find assurance that no one is mad at you?

Does this part of you want to cling to someone or something for comfort or protection?

Or are you unsure of what your impulse is?

If so,

That's okay.

Simply notice what you observe.

Again,

Making sure you're imagining sitting back in that theater chair,

Watching things play out on a screen.

And if it's all a disconnect right now,

That's okay.

You can simply notice that and with curiosity and prayer,

Ask God for clarity and direction in these exercises.

As you're noticing the impulse or reaction for this part of you,

You can consider what kind of vulnerability or protective impulse might be present in this reaction or might be driving this reaction.

So if you sense this part of you wants to hide or shut down,

You can consider if this would protect a vulnerable part of you from being exposed in a way that might feel overwhelming or painful.

If you sense this part of you would like to fight someone who is making you feel inadequate or embarrassed,

You can consider if this protects a vulnerable part of you from feeling small.

If this part of you goes silent and submits when there's tension or conflict,

You can consider if this protects a vulnerable part of you from feeling wounded in the crosshairs,

Maybe feeling unseen or harmed in the midst of conflict.

Continuing our nice deep breaths the whole way through,

Really anchor down in an inhale and an exhale here.

This is so much to consider and it's best done slowly,

Taking breaks as we need to.

So you can come back to this recording as many times as would feel helpful,

Whether it's for the same part to connect more deeply or you might use it different times connecting to different parts that you're trying to identify and connect with.

And now that we have identified a specific part of us here,

We have so much helpful information to explore what this facet of our soul might need to cultivate deeper communing with God.

We can better understand the context,

The backstory,

Roadblocks or stuck places and enter God's gracious mercy as we explore what this part of us might need to embrace his tender care.

That's what we're going to explore in the next track,

State of the Soul,

Part Two.

For this session,

I'll close this with a prayer.

Lord God,

I pray you would mercifully pour out peace and rest that would ground the depths of our soul in you.

It can be scary to explore our internal world.

It can feel overwhelming and doesn't always feel worth it in the middle of the road.

Would you carry us in the places where we cannot carry ourselves?

Would you give us hope where we cannot see hope?

Would you anchor us in you,

Gently guiding us toward your gracious and unwavering heart?

Amen.