Hello my friend,
Welcome to this transformative time and space to release the pain of self-blame or a tenacious inner critic that it's hard for you to let go of.
I understand.
Shame and blame and harsh self-judgment are things that all of us humans feel sometimes and that's very tough on us.
So this is an opportunity to really hold yourself through this and you can invite yourself to move away from self-criticism and punishment into a much healthier,
Safer,
Wiser,
Kinder space.
This doesn't only help you in this moment but doing this over time,
Holding yourself in this way,
Hearing from another voice and moving into this space,
Really allows the old unhealthy and unhelpful habits and patterns to dissolve away.
So let's begin now.
Take a comfortable seat or lie down,
Choose any position where you feel most supported,
Most able to settle.
And there's really no wrong or right way,
There's just the way that works for you best in this moment.
You can let your hands rest gently,
You might allow your eyes to close or soften your gaze.
And then invite yourself to take a lovely big breath in and as you exhale,
Feel that releasing,
Softening and landing.
And as we begin,
I invite you to take a moment to call to mind someone,
Anyone who has offered you true kindness and compassion.
This could be a friend or a mentor,
A family member or even a pet.
Any being who has seen you with warmth and caring and without judgment.
See if you can feel their presence,
Picture them in your mind.
Feel the way,
Their energy,
Their attention soothes you.
And imagine how they might comfort you if they saw you struggling now.
They would want to help,
They would want to offer you words that help.
What would their presence feel like?
See if you can let yourself receive this kindness for a moment.
Just breathing with the feeling of it,
This presence,
This kind being.
Now you might bring to mind a time when you've comforted a friend who was being hard on themselves.
Can you remember how you spoke to them?
The gentle tone of your voice perhaps?
The way you wanted them to really see their worth and not be so hard on themselves.
And feeling that quality of caring and kindness,
Turn towards yourself with that in your heart and in your mind.
And you're simply breathing in and breathing out.
Each breath bringing you into a landing,
A grounding where you are.
Now gently turn to the feeling of self-criticism that you've been carrying with this feeling of caring.
Perhaps it was something you said,
Something you didn't do,
Something you felt you could have done or done better.
Just notice the feelings this brings up.
The feelings in your body.
Maybe there's a tightness in your chest.
Maybe your gut has that sinking feeling there in your belly.
Maybe your shoulders are high by your ears holding that weight up and there's a heaviness in your body.
Maybe there's something else.
Just let yourself notice and feel these feelings in your body that come with what you've been carrying.
And please know that these parts are asking for your help which you're going to give them now.
Please know that though these parts are activated right now,
There's no damage and you are still whole.
And these parts do not separate you from your wholeness even if it sometimes feels that way.
Take a conscious breath in and as you breathe out send some love to all of those parts.
Feel how soft your breath is,
How compassionate,
How it can soothe through your body.
And with your next conscious breath in,
Really imagine you're filling yourself with a sense of calm and peace.
And as you breathe out that you are consciously releasing this self-judgment and all it carries.
And then just let your breath settle into its own natural rhythm whatever it wants to do.
And gently bring to mind a moment when you recently felt critical of yourself again.
Feeling that bodily response,
Also feeling the calm coming in and saying to yourself quietly,
I see you.
I see this pain.
It's okay and safe to show yourself to me.
I see you.
I am with you.
I see this pain.
It's okay and safe to show yourself to me.
Slow,
Steady,
Long breaths.
Soothing.
And then place a hand over your heart or anywhere else that feels comforting to you.
Imagining that this hand is offering you the same kindness you might give to a dear friend or receive from a friend.
Kind touch grounding you,
Reassuring you.
And as you continue to breathe here let your hands radiate warmth and compassion through your fingers into your body,
Your being.
And now gently speak to yourself sending the following phrases into your awareness.
You can repeat them silently or softly aloud.
I acknowledge my feelings and I hold them with care.
Whatever you are feeling can you acknowledge the feelings and give them caring rather than criticism.
It is okay not to be perfect.
It is okay not to have the answers.
I am learning,
Growing and doing my best always.
I choose to speak to myself with caring and kindness.
I choose kindness over criticism.
I choose a new way.
This is a better way.
You might even say I choose a better way.
Breathing in and breathing out notice how these thoughts land in your body.
And if you sense any resistance from any part of you that's okay.
It might need to hear these a few times.
See if you can breathe softly into the resistance.
Like a soft wave of reassurance allowing it to be there without judging it.
Remind yourself that there is an unwavering part of you that is always tender and kind and only sees goodness in everything you are and everything you do.
Sees goodness when you're struggling.
Sees goodness when you feel you haven't done enough.
Sees goodness when you're disappointed and discouraged.
Sees goodness when you're worried or sad.
This part of you understands your struggles,
Your hopes and your humanity.
This part of you sees the bigger picture and knows you are worthy of love always just as you are.
Can you lean into the presence of this kind part of you,
This knowing truthful part of you.
Listen for the words it might say.
Or simply feel the inner kindness it is offering you all the time.
Allow yourself to receive that as you breathe let this kindness grow.
Spreading warmth through your chest into your shoulders.
Spreading warmth down your arms and your legs all the way through your body.
Let this warmth fill the space where self-criticism once sat.
Take a breath or two now to simply bathe in this kindness.
Letting it hold you and infuse you like oils in a bath.
And then when you feel ready take three deep breaths.
On your inhale drawing in more kindness and on your exhale intentionally releasing anything that lingers that is self-blaming or judgmental.
You can even visualize it leaving your body on your exhalation.
Dissolving away.
The next breath bringing warmth kindness and peace.
And now saying to yourself as you prepare to let the rest of your day unfold with this intention.
I choose kindness for myself now.
Right now I choose to see my worth.
I am learning to be my own friend and ally in this journey of my life.
And let me tell you you are doing a beautiful beautiful job of that.
You've welcomed yourself into this space and sometimes that can show a little courage.
So do thank yourself.
Affirm that to yourself.
And remember this is a space you can come back to again and again and again and it will make a difference over time.
Thank you for supporting yourself.
I honor you in that.
And as you go forward to the rest of your day keep carrying this sense of kindness with you.
Even a couple of breaths and any of the phrases might help you return to yourself with kindness when you need it.
Like a gentle hand that's always there to rest on your heart or on your shoulder.
And until next time bye for now.
