Handling Uncertainty In Times Of Change

Hello everyone,

Asma here speaking.

Today I am going to talk about times of change and uncertainty that comes with change.

We all know that this time is the verge of change and every one of us will be experiencing some sort of change either emotionally,

Mentally,

Physically,

Materially,

Maybe it's a job opportunity,

Maybe it's a new workplace,

Maybe it's a new car or a new child,

An introduction to the family.

Whatever your change looks like,

Maybe it's just you growing up into another version of yourself and it's difficult and it's hard.

Change is not easy,

Let's just face it.

We are primed for survival and that is our autopiloted nature.

We are just wired to survive and when we try to connect with that passion and with that chasing something that's gonna lead to the purpose of a lifetime or our mission,

That is a little bit scary,

A little bit dangerous,

It's not so safe.

So these times of change can feel very uncertain especially if we don't know what tomorrow looks like.

When you have the same job,

When you have the same house,

When you have the same environment around you,

The same people around you,

You kind of feel contained,

You kind of feel like that is a normal safe situation,

You know what's tomorrow gonna be like,

You know you're likely gonna wake up to your same old habit but what happens when that gets broken down and clears the energy for something new,

We tend to really just want to grab to our old lives and not to let them go.

And this is very normal of ourselves.

So how can we allow ourselves to soak in the change and to really make it shape us into the future versions of ourselves.

The thing is I find myself also in a very big change moment right now as I'm speaking and this topic is just so related to me and I wanted to share with you what I do right now in order to really just control,

Not control but actually what to say,

What's the real world here,

Maybe just navigate this phase because the phase is happening and we have very little control of ourselves if anything.

So I wanted to come on here and speak about this today.

The thing about change is that it shifts everything in our life basically.

It shifts your attitude,

Your behavior and it breaks a little part of you,

That part of security,

Of safety,

Of belonging,

Maybe you're changing the place,

Maybe you're changing your environment,

Maybe you're going moving countries,

That's exciting,

Oh my god,

Beautiful opportunity but the change itself is not easy,

Right?

So what I find myself doing these days is that I live a lot in the future,

Like I'm barely here,

I keep imagining what's going to be the new place I'm going to be living in,

What's going to be the new thing that's going to change,

How is it going to look like,

What's going to happen and how am I going to go about doing the same habits,

How am I going to go about figuring out my income or whatever,

All of those scary situations that come with big change and taking leaps of faith if you can call them that.

But the thing is,

Even if I ask myself all of those questions,

I know for sure that I'm just worrying,

I know for sure that I'm just postponing the moment for tomorrow,

I know that I am postponing my happiness to that moment,

I am depending completely on it and to be honest,

Happiness is never away from us.

Happiness is always here and now because this is the only moment I have right now,

This is the only moment I exist in and I'm sure that I will keep on existing in this moment but what happens is that sometimes when we anticipate change and we're so excited about it,

We just keep on like fantasizing about it or imagining the scenarios or what it's going to look like especially if you're a dreamy person,

Oh my God!

So that's exciting but also we have to ground ourselves like here in the moment because that's where I find myself almost at the time just flying away with my head thinking about the new situations,

What people will I meet,

What will we speak about,

You know,

All these things and it's just so consuming,

It consumes a lot of energy,

It consumes a lot of time obviously and it consumes my presence which is the biggest gift ever.

So how can I go about,

You know,

Not being that much away from my day to day life?

One of the things I found really helped me is doing yoga,

Doing breathing exercises and also what I learned from Jay Shetty which if you don't know who he is,

He's an amazing podcaster and also a coach,

A performance coach I believe and he's an influencer so he's very well known and he has a podcast,

Go check him out but what he says is when he is not present,

Not feeling present,

He can say to himself,

Okay,

Let me think about three things I can see,

Three things I can touch,

Three things I can smell and three things that I can hear so you kind of navigate your senses and your sensory,

You know,

Existence and situation in order to bring yourself back to the present moment and I find that so smart,

It's even smarter than going around like taking deep breaths and watching your breath because I find the experience of watching breath a little bit swaying down and actually takes me to my thoughts and stuff like that so I just go back to breath and then from breath to thought and that's,

With the sensory experiment thingy,

It really works,

It really works wonders and I find it really amazing.

I do it when I am walking in the park or in the kitchen or just like sitting with myself,

Even when journaling for example in my morning journal,

I write down what time it is,

What temperature does it feel like,

What am I listening to,

Is it some dog barking in the streets,

Is it the cars passing,

What smells do I have on,

Is it like my lotion smell or is it like a smell from my coffee is dominant,

Which one is dominant more and then what do I see sometimes it's my hair in front of my eyes so I just keep note of that or maybe I see like some interesting color scheme that's attracting me so I write it down.

I mean I really find that so amazing to just bring my attention back to the present moment and maybe if you have your phone on you and you feel like you will use some presence elsewhere maybe in the tram,

Maybe you're going on your walk or you just have your phone on you,

You can actually take your phone out and start writing down three things I can see,

Three I can smell etc.

I think you got the point and that really just brings you back to the present moment and maybe,

Maybe you'll find something new,

You'll find something exciting to bring your attention back to the present,

Really wonder about it.

I find almost of the time that when I use this experiment,

This sensory experiment,

I find myself really confused about the smells part like three things you can smell like I just try to sniff and sniff anything and it's so funny,

It's really enjoyable and also you can be surprised like you can be surprised at how much detail we could pick up as humans,

That's amazing.

You can either take your experience up a notch and go for four things you can see for etc.

You see the drill so that's really amazing.

I love that experiment from Jay Shetty,

Go check him out.

Another thing is uncertainty is inevitable,

So it's an inevitable experience that I will be willing to cope with for this amount of time that I'm still in the transition period.

So I know the change is coming but I'm still in the same old and I'm anticipating and I'm patiently waiting for that what's coming.

So we have to be willing to live in that uncertainty and one of the ways to live with it is to actually just be uncomfortable while we navigate life but when we are uncomfortable we can make sure to tell ourselves that we don't know what's going to happen because we will tend to worry most of the time and I find this a good reminder is that I remind myself that I cannot control that,

It's still out of my reach,

It's still not here so I can't really think about it.

So it just kind of let it to God or let it to the universe or whoever you believe in,

You'll let that in those hands and then you let it go and that's how you just become very serene and peaceful.

Once my brain for example I see this happening with myself a lot,

Once my brain starts worrying about what about this,

What about that,

How am I going to manage this and that and I'm like when I go obviously thinking about that sometimes I forget,

Sometimes I wake up to it and I say whoa I'm not there yet.

So what I say is when I'm there I'm sure God will help me go through it and I'm sure God will be there for me as he has always been.

I'm always supported,

I'm always loved,

I'm always safe,

I'm always supported,

Loved and safe and that's just it.

I just leave that,

Sip in and I leave that be my meditation or my sort of resolve or what do you call an affirmation.

Anyhow I just kind of my mantra for that moment and it really works,

It does,

It soothes me because I remember all of those changes like obviously I've been here for a life you know and I've gone through some changes to be where I'm at and those changes were challenging,

Those changes were exciting,

Those changes were heartwarming,

Heartbreaking sometimes but nothing bad happened to me ever and I'm sure I will always be supported.

So that's how we kind of grab ourselves from that down moment of I'm not sure about this to I'm sure it's going to be okay.

That's just it,

It will be okay.

And yes that element is really important because it keeps you away from leaving your ego running around and exhausting yourself with those little small things that you can't control and actually go about doing the things that you can't control right now,

Right?

Because in Stoicism they say that you can't control the external factors like the weather,

I can't worry about the weather,

I can't worry about what's coming tomorrow because it's out of my hands,

It's out of my reach,

I don't even know if I will live tomorrow.

So what do I have really?

I only just have this moment,

Right?

So let me focus on things that I can actually impact,

That I can actually have control on.

That's really really valuable as a lesson that I also took from the Stoicism philosophers.

And now these are the two things you can do about uncertainty.

So first of all try to bring back yourself to the present moment by sensory experiment and then the second one is to let go and let God.

And now of course that change is coming,

Uncertainty is here.

What this imposes is an opportunity.

It's a challenge but a challenge is an opportunity for growth.

And so what I also like to do is journal what things I am feeling and what this change makes me feel and if I am secretly anxious under my layers and I'm not aware of it,

I just try to kind of be aware of what's going on in my conscious and maybe ultimately subconscious mind by going and visiting my dreams and really just observing everything that,

The thought patterns that go around in my head.

What do I feel about this?

What are the feelings that are surfacing that I can address?

What stuck belief systems about change that I have?

And that really is just a helpful thing.

That's all that I can say about journaling to be honest.

I know that there's different approaches to do journaling but I feel like if you just can,

If you can just talk about your experience sincerely as you would do to a friend,

Not to a friend,

Well because it's a little bit too,

It's a bit too intimate.

You can share that with someone in your life but what is something that you can really just be honest about this experience even though if it's going to be brutal,

It's going to really,

Really help you and take you up down,

Take you up a little bit from that deep worrisome.

What is causing your worrisome thoughts and all of those fearful reactions you're getting in?

And I find journaling really helps me.

It's like an inventory,

A list of things that I do when I'm anxious,

When I'm worried,

What sensations am I feeling in my body when I'm worried and maybe you tend to have headaches when you worry about things.

Maybe when you think way too much about it,

You have just overall bad mood and you can revisit yourself in every single time you feel those symptoms and you can link them to that experience and then by knowing what causes that,

We can be much more efficient in living through this uncertainty instead of just dwelling in circles and circles of worry and anticipation,

Etc.

So that journaling really helps and another thing you can also do in order to bring that fun in your life right now as you're experiencing change that's coming and it's a little bit uncomfortable,

You don't know where you're at,

It's like oh my gosh,

This change is close but I'm still here but I don't know how to go about my day to day life.

Bring back your presence to life with something you really enjoy and I know that maybe you're going through a change in careers or something and you maybe don't want to spend a lot of money and this doesn't have to be really costly activities,

This can just be a stroll in the park,

Something that you can enjoy like singing karaoke with yourself.

I do that a lot,

I just put on a karaoke and sing when I'm feeling a little bit funky.

Or actually painting or doing,

You know,

Writing poems,

Going out in nature,

Do something that really connects you to that creative,

Curious part of yourself.

Maybe draw your feelings,

Whatever that means for you.

Maybe take pictures outside,

Try to have fun while you're navigating this change and discovering how you really function around change.

I believe that will help you for any future changes you're going to have for the future.

Like change doesn't stop here,

Change doesn't stop in this one thing in your life.

There will obviously be more and more changes coming,

So how can I contribute to more understanding of myself and navigate this change efficiently for my future self as well so that when my future self looks back and she sees me,

She'll be like,

Oh my god,

Thank you so much,

You've done this before and now because of what you've done,

I can face change more easily and because I've got this,

I've been through this before,

I've proved it was easy,

So now it will be again and it will be even fun,

Right?

I mean,

This is all I have for uncertainty in times of change.

I really wish you enjoyed this episode and if you did or if you have some insights,

Please share them in the comments.

Thank you,

Goodbye for now.