Focusing On The Tender, Hurt, Or Stressed

We'll begin this focusing practice with some breath work.

A 4-7-8 breath where we hold our breath for a count of seven in the middle.

If holding your breath is uncomfortable,

I invite you to breathe at your own pace,

Ideally extending your exhale.

So the 4-7-8 breath we breathe in through our nose for four,

Hold for seven,

And breathe out through our mouth for eight.

So we'll do four of these and I'll count us through them.

So breathing in,

Holding your breath,

And breathing out through your mouth.

Breathe in,

Hold,

Breathe out,

In,

Hold,

And out.

Last one,

Hold,

And out.

I invite you now to feel your feet on the floor,

And the floor pushing back onto your feet.

And to notice where else your body is supported,

Sit bones,

The back of your thighs,

Maybe your lower back.

And you can say to yourself,

Grounded.

And now we'll pay attention to our space,

Beginning with sounds,

You might notice a smell,

Or the feeling of the air over your skin on your face,

Or your hands.

And then feeling the air at your nostrils.

And you can say to yourself,

Aware.

And now we'll bring our attention inside the body,

Starting with the feet.

You may want to flex your feet,

Feel the arches,

And then we'll move into the ankles,

And then slowly up the calves.

We'll say hello to our knees,

And then let our attention come up in the thighs,

And then to the hips,

And the whole pelvis area.

And at this point you might notice if your body wants you to shift position a little.

And we'll bring our attention now to our backs,

Especially our spine,

Lengthening a little bit,

Sitting taller,

And then bringing our attention to the muscles on the sides,

At the lower back,

Into the mid-back,

And then coming into the upper back and the shoulder area.

At this point you might want to roll your shoulders,

Or bring them up to your ears,

And then release.

Do that again up to your ears,

And release.

And then we'll let our attention go up the back of the head,

And into the back of the neck as well.

And we can roll the neck in semi-circles,

Going down from one shoulder to the other side,

And then pausing,

And going back.

And then coming to the middle,

You might even want to put your hands on the back of your head,

To just kind of curl down,

And deepen the stretch in the back of the neck and the back of the head.

You might feel this in your back as well.

And then we'll come to the front of the head,

To the face,

Beginning with the temples.

You might want to give yourself some self-massage there on the side,

Just where your jaw muscles connect to your head.

And then bringing your attention to your eyes,

Softening the eyes,

Softening the forehead.

And then coming down to the mouth,

You might want to loosen your jaw,

Or yawn.

And then we'll let our attention flow down our arms,

Into the elbows,

The forearms,

Coming to the palms of the hands,

And then going up the fingers.

And to end,

We'll bring our attention to the belly.

We'll say hello to whatever's happening in there.

And just to say that in focusing practice,

We really welcome what comes,

And we really listen to what the body needs.

And so at times,

If your mind starts to push you,

Into something your body doesn't want to do,

Please listen to your body.

Listen to what feels right in your body.

And that might include ignoring instructions.

So I may offer a question,

And it might not be the right question for you,

So please ignore it.

And at that point,

Ask your own.

And also really noticing if you have the right distance in focusing.

You know,

We're wanting to have something be in focus.

So we're wanting something to become clearer,

And we can't do that if we're too in it,

If we're too close.

Jean used to say,

Don't put your head in the soup.

That's not going to help.

And similarly,

If we're too far from something,

We can't feel it.

We can't be with it in the body.

And so you want to invite something in when we get into the practice,

But just at the right distance.

Just noticing how your belly feels now.

And then I invite you to bring your attention to your heart center and your chest.

And you might want to put your hands on your heart.

I'd like to welcome the focusing attitude at this point,

Which is a way of being open,

Welcoming,

Non-judgmental,

And compassionate with ourselves.

So I invite you now just for a moment to breathe into your heart.

And to know that whatever comes in this practice,

That it's coming for a reason,

It has something to tell you,

And to really welcome it.

So now you might just notice how your body feels overall.

Noticing if you feel ready to start.

And if there's anything coming in the way of you and feeling clear and ready,

I invite you to put whatever those things are beside you.

And if there's quite a few things,

I invite you to pause the recording and just slowly at your own pace,

Put each thing beside you just at the right distance until you're ready to continue.

And so now we're going to invite an issue,

Something that's a little bit tender.

It might be something that happened that hurt your feelings.

Something you're feeling sad about.

Maybe you're lonely.

Or maybe it's just the stress of life.

And I invite you for just about 20 seconds to remind yourself what you've been thinking about,

What you've been noticing.

That's been bothering you or causing you stress.

And now we'll get out of our heads and really sink into your body and notice physically how is your body carrying this issue?

Where does it carry the issue?

And I invite you to notice how big the physical sensations are.

You might describe them in size,

Like a golf ball or a Kiwi,

Maybe an apple or a grapefruit.

How big is this sensation?

And what other qualities would describe the physical sensations?

Maybe there's a movement or a texture or a temperature or maybe even a color.

And now checking if this feeling is familiar.

Have you felt this way before?

And noticing if your body says yes or no.

And if it says yes.

How familiar.

Is it something it feels frequently?

Maybe all the time.

Or is it something new?

Now let's explore some recent memories of when this issue has been alive for us.

So you might remember the last time you were feeling this way.

Maybe it was today or maybe it was yesterday.

Was there something that happened?

Was there something that happened that brought this issue forward?

Now we'll ask the body for an older memory.

We'll ask the body,

What's this connected to from the past?

You might even ask your body,

When's the first time I felt this way?

And now you see what comes.

Noticing now as the memory fleshes out your felt sense,

If there's an emotional quality to the memory and what you're feeling in your body now.

So you might ask yourself,

What's this connected to from the past?

And now you see what's connected to the past.

And we'll look for a pattern.

Just noticing what is it about the memory from the past that connects to the current situation?

How are they similar?

And now we'll ask the body for a word or phrase.

And it could also be an image or a gesture or sound,

But something to summarize what the crux of all of this is.

Why is this an issue for us?

And if you have multiple words coming,

You can go back and forth between the felt sense and the body.

And the word or the phrase.

And just feel how close it is of a fit.

And then go back to the body.

And go to the other word or phrase or image.

And just keep going back and forth until you find one that just really fits.

That feels just right.

That you've got it.

And now we'll ask the body a few questions.

The first question we'll ask is,

What's the worst about all this?

And I invite you to really notice how your body responds to the question.

How any physical sensations change.

Maybe an intensity or location.

What's the worst of this?

And now you might ask your body,

What would make this feel better?

And again,

Noticing how your body responds.

Now I invite you to ask your own question.

You might be curious about something.

Or wanting to go deeper on something we've explored.

So you can ask your own question.

And again,

Listen to how your body responds first.

Okay.

And now I invite you to ask your body,

What would be a right next step?

A way of moving this forward.

Maybe you have a request for yourself.

Or a request for another.

Maybe it's about doing something.

Or just changing the way you're being.

So really just asking your body,

What would be a right next step?

And noticing how the body answers.

And now I invite you to notice where you are with this issue.

Notice if it feels complete.

Or whether it's something you'll want to come back to.

You might want to do this practice again.

To move it forward a little bit more.

So you could just bookmark where you feel you're at.

And then I invite you to really thank your body for all the wisdom it shared with you today.

And to thank yourself for taking the time to do this practice.

And to listen to yourself.

And when you're ready and you come back to your space,

I also invite you to take a few notes or journal or draw a picture of where you felt things in your body.

If you're called to do that.

And I wish you a beautiful rest of your day.

Take care.