Okay,
So sitting up straight,
Pushing the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.
Starting to settle in.
Let's take a few deep breaths.
Just do that at your own pace.
And now on the in-breath,
You open the eyes.
And on the out-breath,
Close the eyes.
In-breath open.
Out-breath close.
In-breath open.
Out-breath close.
Keep going with that.
And at some point,
Start extending the length of the out-breath.
You can also keep the eyes closed if you like at this point.
And now imagine that you're sitting on a big white fluffy cloud.
And I'll count from one to five and when I get to five,
You'll be in your safe place.
One rising,
Rising.
Two floating along nicely now.
Three,
Four,
Three.
Four,
Five.
Now you're in your safe place.
So go ahead and develop this scene.
Brought in this sense of support,
Bring up a sense of agency.
Good.
So now,
Just for 30 seconds,
Imagine what we're going to be doing.
We're going to be going through a list of our childhood needs,
See what our experience was with those needs in childhood,
Adolescence,
And now as adults.
And then we'll also see how the meeting or the getting those needs met or not brought about emotional learning.
NIMAs.
Now imagine yourself doing this exercise.
So you see yourself doing the exercise and you're getting lots of insights.
Also you're doing self-development and introspection.
And bring up the perfect nurturers and have them see what you're doing.
They're so proud of you.
Feel into that clearly now.
Okay,
Good.
We'll go ahead and start with the exercise.
And so this is a drawing from Experiencing Schema Therapy from the Inside Out by Joan Farrell and Ida Shaw.
We're going to go over a list of needs.
And the question is,
How were these needs met in your childhood?
How were they met in adolescence?
And for the needs that still exist,
How do you meet them today?
The first is safety,
Attachment,
Predictability,
And love.
What were your childhood experiences of getting these needs met?
Take about a minute here.
And if you find something that's emotionally upsetting,
Feel free to bring in the perfect nurturers and have them come for you.
You can talk to them about it.
They can talk to you about it.
Keep going.
I'll repeat the question.
For the needs of safety,
Attachment,
Predictability,
And love,
What were your childhood experiences of getting these needs met?
For the needs of safety,
Attachment,
Predictability,
And love,
What was your experience with those needs in adolescence?
We'll take a minute with this.
We'll take a minute with this.
And now regarding your current adult situation,
The question is,
How do I try to meet these needs now of safety,
Attachment,
Predictability and love?
Good,
Let's move on.
So the next set of needs is autonomy,
Competence,
And self-development,
Identity development.
This is usually under more underdeveloped than people with preoccupied attachment.
Okay,
So what were your childhood experiences of getting the needs met of autonomy,
Competence,
And identity development,
Self-development?
That's right,
Keep going.
Keep investigating.
So you Let's now move on to adolescence.
What were your adolescent experiences of getting the needs of autonomy,
Competence,
Self-development,
Identity development,
Met?
Go ahead and explore that now.
That's right,
Keep going.
And now let's move on to the current day.
What are your,
Or how is it that you try now,
Currently,
As an adult,
To meet your needs for autonomy,
Competence,
Self-development,
Identity development?
Go ahead and investigate that now.
How do you go about meeting that need?
Now notice all the insights that you're getting.
This is great.
Really have a sense of agency and accomplishment around all these insights,
Around all this self-knowledge.
Keep going with the investigation.
Again,
We're working on autonomy,
Competence,
And self-development.
How do you get those needs met now?
Good.
Now we'll move on to the needs of freedom to express one's own feelings and needs.
So the opposite of this is like emotional inhibition.
So what was it like for you in childhood around the need to express your own needs and feelings?
Go ahead and investigate that now.
Then you can have the perfect nurturers there soothing you,
Comforting you,
Guiding you.
And also all along while you're doing this exercise,
Bring up this sense of community support.
We're all doing this together.
That's right.
Keep going.
That's right.
Okay.
Now let's move on to adolescence.
What were your experiences of getting the needs of freedom to express your own feelings and needs met during adolescence?
What was that like for you?
Are you going?
You're doing well.
Okay,
Good.
Now,
How is it that you go about trying to meet your needs for a freedom to express your own feelings and needs now?
How do you go about trying to meet that need now?
Okay,
Now moving on.
Freedom to play and be creative.
What was your experience with that need in childhood?
Again,
The need of the freedom to play and be creative.
That's right.
Keep going.
The freedom to play and be creative.
Okay,
Good.
Now,
What was your experience with this need of the freedom to play and be creative in adolescence?
Now,
Moving on to adulthood.
Things now.
How do you try to meet this need now?
Of freedom to play and being creative.
How do you meet that need?
That's right.
Keep going.
That's right.
Okay,
Good.
Now,
We're going to move on to the last need.
Realistic limits and self-control.
What was your experience in childhood with this need of realistic limits and self-control?
Okay,
Good.
Now,
What was your experience of the need for realistic limits and self-control in adolescence?
Okay,
Now how do you go about meeting your needs for realistic limits and self-control now as an adult?
Okay,
So now we'll go ahead and bring the meditation to a close.
I'll count from five to one.
When I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
