Pranayama The Support Of The Refuges Metta & Upekkha

Good.

Sources of support in this system of thought are called refuges,

Things that you rest in,

Things that are interestingly always there,

And that whatever's happening,

Whether pleasant things are happening,

Whether unpleasant things are happening,

And I'll tell you what they are.

You don't have to make them up.

They're always there,

And they can support you.

And I'll go into them in some detail.

And this is what's nice about these refuges,

Is that they are unconditionally there,

In addition to whatever is happening,

And that if we do these practices,

We begin to notice them and experience them so that life goes on.

We don't have to remove ourself from life,

But we feel supported.

We feel that there's a refuge at the same time.

Now,

You can take a break and just sit in the refuge,

But if that's not available because of situations,

Then it's like,

Oh,

This is like little things supporting my heart.

What these refuges feel are,

There are a number of clients,

But the three that I was going to talk about today,

Because I think that they're very accessible,

Even if you haven't heard them before.

The first is called the Buddha.

And what that means is that for 2,

600 years,

There have been people who have devoted themselves to teaching us practices that will do,

That will make us feel better.

So that's the first kind.

And again,

We'll do a meditation for each of these three things that lets these feelings arise.

So the first is the Buddha,

The devoted teachers.

The second is called the Dharma.

And those are the teachings and the techniques for this peace of heart and mind.

We'll do a practice for that.

And the third is called the Sangha.

And that means community.

It's the unbroken 2,

600 years of people all around the world who are working towards peace of mind,

Or may have actually found it because they really devoted themselves to it.

And as part of that,

They're wishing it for us as well.

In the past and right now,

Millions of people all around the world.

I'll talk about that in more detail.

Good.

So let's start with some breathing practices so that it puts us in a physical space that makes these practices easy to do.

So the first thing to do is to rest both feet on the floor.

Find a way to make that comfortable,

That you're actually getting the support first of the floor and then the earth.

And let yourself feel that support.

Do the same thing with the bottom of your legs and your back.

And take your time if you need to do any arranging so that you're really well supported.

And what will come about here,

Quite typically,

Don't cause it to rise or imagine it.

But typically what will come about is that what you will start to feel is both relaxed and energized.

And again,

If you need to make any physical adjustment before we start,

That is just fine.

So a position that will let you feel relaxed and alert.

Now put your attention on the top of your head and just freshly explore how it feels.

Not the way you know it feels from having noticed it previously when you were washing or combing your hair.

Not what you're expecting.

But just explore the way it feels now.

And any tension that you suddenly feel and that wants to release,

Just allow it to.

Don't force it,

But allow.

Put your attention on your brow.

And do that same experiment,

That same exploration,

Which is what we will do throughout.

Experiment and explore.

See what's going on now.

Let yourself feel it fresh.

Just see if your muscles are responding to everything that's happening by clinging together.

It's fine.

They're helping you.

And here,

They may want to rest.

So again,

To the extent that it feels helpful,

Let that happen.

Put your attention on the top of your head.

Put your attention on your upper palate.

And there,

Too,

Let it get soft.

Let it float.

Release it from all the work of talking,

Eating,

Breathing,

All the things we want to do.

But right now,

Let it rest.

Feel the front of your throat.

This is the center.

Great amounts of feeling are held.

Think about it if one is crying or laughing.

There's a lot of action there.

So see what is its current state of mind.

And using your breath and your sense of your muscles,

Give yourself some ease for that spot.

Turn your attention to your heart center.

And let this rest.

And again,

Just see what arises.

You may feel a change.

You may not.

And again,

These changes tend to be unimaginable.

So just allow them.

You don't have to make them up.

And sometimes they come.

Sometimes they wait.

You may want to rest the hinge of your jaw and your chin.

So just check there.

And see if,

Again,

There's any adjustment that would give you more ease.

Again,

Using your breath and using your sense of your muscles.

Ease in your jaw and ease in your chin.

And just take in the results.

Traveling back down past heart center.

Feel just below your navel.

Really release there.

See what happens.

Move your attention further down to all the body spots that are resting on the chair.

Everything deep inside your body at the bottom of your torso.

Put your attention on your tailbone.

Let this drop and feel it.

And then on the small of your back.

Feel that whole area from your tailbone to just above your waist on either side of your spine.

There may be warmth.

There may be cold.

The muscles may relax.

But see what's true.

Whatever is true,

That's the best thing to notice.

Feel just below your wing bones on either side of your back.

And now feel that big bone at the base of your neck.

And all the things connected to it.

All the muscles,

The connective tissue.

As you let this rest,

Again see what happens.

Move your attention to those two little points of bone at the base of your skull at either side of the top of your neck.

And again,

See what's there.

See if there's any energy that gets freed.

Take in this circuit of energy spots in our torso that we've attended to.

Just let it be.

But see what's up,

See what changed,

What stayed the same,

And just rest in whatever's true.

We're going to do one more breathing practice.

I will talk you through it.

So let your breath come in and out through your nose,

And we'll start with a slow breath.

We'll change speeds,

But I will tell you when.

So again,

A slow and relaxed breath in and out through your nose.

And if your breath is not comfortable,

Tend to some spot in your body that is.

Just let your attention rest on that.

Or if you can make your breath more comfortable.

Again,

With any adjustment,

Any change in your muscles,

Do that as well.

Just a slow breath.

Continue to make yourself comfortable by relaxing your muscles and your breath.

And change this in and out through your nose breath to a normal speed.

Let's go to a fast speed now,

But as you do that,

Let yourself stay relaxed.

Ease your muscles,

Ease your breathing,

And speed up in a way that's comfortable.

And slow breath.

Return to normal speed.

Stay relaxed.

And slow breath.

Slow breath.

Normal speed.

Last fast breath,

Staying relaxed.

And slow breath,

And really let yourself rest.

And now as we sit,

Take in this notion of the Buddha,

Who 2,

600 years ago had the desire and the insight to end our suffering.

And rest in that experience of this notion of people who for 2,

600 years from the Buddha and all the teachers he passed this down to,

Put all their efforts into helping us not to suffer,

Understanding all of life's difficulties and fears,

And at the same time,

Not to magically erase the pain,

But to feel contentment and heart's ease as we live a realistic life.

Think of those people and their kind wishes towards you.

And any discomfort that comes up,

Whether it's physical or mental or emotional,

It's quite natural.

And here,

The instruction is to respond to that by seeing what it does to your breath and to your body,

And easing those in any way you can.

And then often,

The discomfort will dispel.

So send yourself physical and emotional ease and rest in that.

These techniques for sending physical and emotional need,

Or sorry,

Ease,

Are called the Dharma.

We must consider the notion that for 2,

600 years,

People have been dedicating decades of their lives to developing these ways for us to feel better.

These techniques again are called the Dharma.

That this has been done with this goodwill towards us all this time.

And now consider the third kind of support,

And again it's an experiment,

See how it feels.

That again,

For all these thousands of years,

People all over the world,

Millions of people,

Have done these practices,

And that the result of these practices are for good wishes towards us to arise.

Good wishes for people they know and don't know equally,

Good wishes for people in the present,

In the future.

These have been and right now are being directed at you,

And rest in the support of that.

Keeping your eyes closed,

Just take a listen to the sound of the bell as we continue.

It's just a traditional demarcation.

So eyes closed and listen to the bell.

And we'll continue.

Listen to that sound and let it fade.

So put your attention on it lightly.

And I was saying that the song of the community of people,

Past and present,

Were sending good wishes.

Have been doing this with a meditation technique called Metta,

Which can be translated as friendliness,

Goodwill,

Sometimes loving kindness.

And we're going to do it,

I will talk you through.

Now as we do this,

Don't worry about this as new or I don't know how to do it or I'm not doing it well enough.

Because the definition of success is just to try to make yourself comfortable.

Just to allow that to happen.

Not to have anything else change or arise.

Just that intention to make yourself comfortable.

So here's the goodwill practice.

Pick an object,

Meaning some being,

Who rises in your mind's eye,

Towards whom you can easily send good wishes.

And I'll read the traditional wishes to us.

So see who comes to your mind's eye,

A dear one,

A benefactor,

Oneself.

That right now you think you can send good wishes.

And again it's an experiment.

If you settle on someone and it's not working,

It's meditation skill to change.

So here are the wishes,

Just drop them into your heart.

May you be safe from inner and outer harm.

Somehow or other,

May this being in your mind's eye be safe from inner and outer harm.

And see how that feels.

Somehow,

May this being have a way to be happy and content.

And let that resonate.

And somehow,

May there be a way for this being to feel heart's ease in the midst of their life and the truth of their life.

With all that's happening,

Somehow,

May this being have heart's ease.

And we'll repeat and see what you think would feel best for your heart.

Would really give you a sense of kind attention that right now you would benefit from,

Whether to stay with this being or to pick a different one.

Let yourself see who comes up.

Somehow,

May you be safe from inner and outer harm.

You don't have to bring it about,

You don't have to know how to bring it about.

It's just a pure goodwill wish.

Somehow,

May you be happy and content.

Somehow,

May heart's ease arise for you.

Once again,

Listen to the sound of the marking bell.

And again,

Staying in this state of inner ease,

Come to standing for me.

When you're ready,

Come to standing.

And this is one of the traditional meditation postures.

Just gently and easily come to standing and really drop your weight into your feet.

Feel all those balls of your feet at the edge of each toe,

So there's ten of them,

Each of which give us cushioning,

Comfort,

And support.

Feel your heels,

And there,

Feel your whole heels,

Feel all four corners,

And again,

Cushioning and support.

And see what your experience is,

Whatever is true is fine,

It's the best.

And if there's any discomfort physically or dissatisfaction,

Send yourself heart's ease.

Make your breath comfortable,

Make your muscles comfortable,

As much as can be now.

And let this kind attention be in the front of your mind.

We can't escape gravity,

We can't escape physical ills,

But we can send ourselves good wishes.

Because again,

The pain may not dispel,

But the good wishes,

The good relationship to ourselves can grow and grow.

If you need to sit,

You can,

And if you can make yourself comfortable,

If you can send goodwill for just a couple more seconds,

Give that a try.

And then sit in your own time.

And again,

Standing and sitting,

They're equally good,

They're two of the traditional meditation postures,

Along with walking and lying down.

So we'll continue.

A sister practice to sending good ease,

Excuse me,

To sending goodwill,

Comes from that third wish for heart's ease.

So again,

Feel yourself really held by gravity in any position that you're in.

Find all the support you need,

Let yourself rest.

And now pick some person or some situation that is quite understandably,

But only slightly irritating.

And what we're going to do is we're going to continue and send goodwill and heart's ease,

So that we over time strengthen the contentment of our hearts and minds in the face of everything that happens.

So see what slightly irritating situation or person comes to mind,

Something that won't spin out,

But something you'd like to relieve.

As that comes up,

Remember the refuges.

Think about how the Buddha,

All the teachers,

The Dharma,

The kindness practices,

And the Sangha,

All the people sending you goodwill.

Think about how at the same time that these life frustrations,

Understandable,

Realistic,

At the same time that they're happening,

These sources of support are also there.

That our minds and our hearts can feel both the dissatisfaction and the support.

Let the support come to the foreground and rest in that.

And now we'll send out the wishes that stabilize and consolidate that feeling of support,

So that over time it's really apparent,

Really discernible all the time.

So in spite of my best wishes,

My best intentions,

My good actions,

Things still are as they are.

And simultaneously my good actions and the refuges still count and bring that to the front of your mind.

I can't control others' actions,

Their words,

Or their thoughts,

But again,

At the same time,

There are these supports,

There are my good intentions,

And choose to have that be in the foreground without pushing the other away or denying it,

Saying you shouldn't feel that way.

It won't make anything better,

But rest in the positive.

And again,

A way to rest in the positive.

There's two ways that I would suggest that you explore.

One is,

As we've been saying today,

Just make yourself physically comfortable.

And the other is to just notice whether your mind wants to move to these supports,

Whether gradually your mind says,

Oh,

Yes,

I'm irritated,

Yes,

It's realistic,

And there are these supports,

And I'll rest there.

Because you both are true,

Making yourself comfortable and letting the wisdom of your mind take you to the support.

The third wish,

I know that others won't change unless they wish to.

I know I may not be able to change situations,

But may my heart be at ease in the midst of all this,

And rest in the possibility of that contentment.

Whether right now it's strong,

Or you just have a tiny glimmer,

Even the tiniest glimmer,

Make use of it,

Because it actually will grow that way.

So once again,

Pick some situation that's pulling you in the direction of dissatisfaction,

And you get to choose the situation that would be most useful now that will strengthen your contentment.

Whether it's tiny or challenging,

And remember,

It's an experiment,

So you'll get to change.

Let the support of the teachers,

The practices,

And the community come up.

Drop that into your heart and mind.

Any dissatisfaction that remains,

That's fine.

It's understood that that would be.

So make yourself again as physically comfortable as you can with that,

As a way of sending yourself kind attention.

And again,

Throw the wishes,

In spite of my best intentions and actions,

Things are as they are.

Let that be true,

No need to distort it,

And rest in any true supports that can currently exist.

I can't change people's actions,

Thoughts,

Or words.

But again,

I can do my best.

And again,

All these supports exist,

And choose to point your mind towards that,

While not denying the other.

And although I may not be able to change things,

May my heart still be at ease.

Choose to rest in that.

And when you're ready,

Listen to the sound of the bell,

And again in your own time,

Open your eyes.

Good.

Questions?

See if any questions come,

Take your time.

That was good.

I felt like there were things that bubbled up and kind of felt like it wasn't that big.

Good,

That's nice.

Yeah,

It's designed for that.

I have no idea if I went to sleep or not,

But I know I was aware of seeing the time as ten after four.

And the next thing I knew it was five of five.

And I really wasn't aware,

I don't know whether I went off or not,

In and out.

Which is amazing for me.

I'm interested in anything amazing.

I go out and I come in again,

But I was aware of your voice.

Not necessarily everything that you said that I get,

But I was aware of your voice.

And that was a very interesting experience for me.

I was actually quiet for all that time.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

I wanted to speak to that.

There's two things.

One is,

Because people often say to me,

I can't come to practice because I'm too restless,

I don't have the patience,

Whatever.

And I think that's because there's this notion that you're going to be forced to sit there with nothing occupying your heart or your mind or your body,

And that would be extremely boring.

But it's not like that.

So what it is,

Is that we're actually doing a lot of really active discerning and exploring,

And it really occupies.

Yeah,

I lost 40 minutes.

No,

You gained 40 minutes.

You didn't feel you needed to put your eyes on the clock.

I didn't feel the need to open the eyes or look at the clock or anything,

But I didn't realize how much time had gone by.

And even if it's the case,

This is really an interesting thing,

And I'll talk about this again in future meetings if anybody's here.

Even if it's the case,

Imagine that you are feeling very restless.

So that's actually one of the well known expected reactions.

Restlessness,

Craving to move.

And the point is that there's a wonderful teaching for that,

Which is that,

Oh,

I feel really restless.

I'm really craving to move.

What does that feel like?

Is that terrifying?

Must it be done?

Or can I send myself more to ease in the face of this discomfort?

So it's wonderful because what it means is that it's this way of becoming very comfortable with our fears and our dislikes and our cravings.

So it's sort of like particularly,

Not for anyone here,

But this is a really strong example.

It's like if you're trying to not take a drink or trying to not take a pill,

It's like,

Oh,

It's not so frightening.

This is what it feels like.

Let me have some interest in it.

So even if you felt restless,

There's a way to address it.

I was in the beginning.

More like that feeling of,

Oh,

God,

Am I going to start to cough?

Oh,

Geez.

And I couldn't quite,

And then all of a sudden that went away.

And actually when you had a stand,

I wasn't really wanting to.

I know.

And I thought we would explore that,

Oh,

Gosh,

I can send myself kindness in the face of,

Oh,

I'd rather be sitting in a comfy chair.

Let me send myself kindness.

That's an example of what I'm saying.

What it is is that you don't have to worry if you start to cough or feel restless because I'll see it.

And what I'll do is I'll put out the,

I'll give us the antidote.

I'll throw out the antidote.

Yeah,

We sure did.

Good.

It's my job,

So it makes me happy.

Good.

Let's see.

One of the things is also starting with breathing exercises.

Because you come in here like this.

You do the breathing exercises,

And then you're in it.

And then you do a body scan.

You're starting at the edge.

And then by then,

You're ready to meditate.

What's the purpose of that?

And I think that's really important.

Yeah.

The breathing,

I'm glad you asked that.

What it is,

This is a practice,

It's one of a group of practices called in Hindu a kriya,

Or a cleansing practice.

And what it is,

Is that in different situations we breathe slow,

Or we breathe at a normal rate,

Or we breathe fast.

But we do it in response to things coming at us,

As opposed to doing it in a systematic,

Organized way.

And then that kind of gets glommed in,

Congealed discomfort.

And that if instead you go through this in a systematic way,

It reverses it,

And it releases the glom and the discomfort.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's why.

Ah!

And it's interesting,

And if you choose to come back,

Which would be lovely,

However much or frequently or infrequently,

I will stress again that,

Okay,

As you're breathing slowly,

You're relaxed.

Now we're going to gently speed it up,

And notice that relaxation.

Keep the relaxation with it.

Notice your dissatisfaction with the speed coming up.

Send yourself kindness.

Relax your breath and your muscles,

So that,

Um,

Don't breathe so fast that it again,

You know,

Throws you into a tizzy.

But allow some discomfort,

So that we can practice making ourselves comfortable with these uncomfortable things.

Yeah.

So I'm glad that you're saying you didn't like it.

It's like,

Yes,

Good,

Again,

I will,

I will.

Exactly.

And with practice,

You can learn to,

And you don't have to like,

You don't have to breathe as fast as I do.

I've been doing it for dozens of years.

It's,

Yeah.

And again,

I'll try and notice,

And I'll say the antidote.

Yeah,

Good.

Good.

Good.

Thank you.

Good.

Yeah.

That was totally great.

I don't know whether I went to sleep or not.

I still don't.

I feel like I did.

I have felt myself like this before.

Yeah,

Whatever.