Hey guys,
Just a fair warning before you dive in that this podcast does contain explicit language.
Hey guys,
So today I want to talk to you about something that's really been affecting me the last couple of weeks.
And that is trying to find stability in difficult moments.
So the last few weeks have been really challenging.
I've just felt really busy,
Overwhelmed,
Stressed.
It's honestly felt like there's been too much to do and not enough time to do it in.
And I want to talk about in some ways cutting ourselves some slack.
But I do also want to acknowledge that what I just said is a choice.
The decision to feel busy,
The decision to feel overwhelmed,
The decision to be stressed is just that.
It's a decision and this podcast is more for dealing with those moments where you really can't show up any differently.
I feel like over the last couple of weeks I've really done my best to try to take care of myself and to really,
Really relax.
That doesn't mean that I was successful in every moment and it doesn't mean that I had my mindset exactly where I wanted it to be.
But I was trying and that is sometimes the best that we can do in difficult moments.
Now I think the problem that I'm about to share is fairly first world and I do have a tendency for anxiety and overwhelm.
So I sometimes tend to move there quite quickly.
But I think that what I'm about to share is really relevant in general for difficult moments.
So one of the first things that I tried to do was I really tried to up my self-care.
And I really,
Really,
Really tried to choose self-care that felt the most aligned.
So in my morning routine,
I kind of meditate,
I do yoga,
I drink water,
Right?
All of those things which are super,
Super important.
And this week I tried to either up those or tweak them so they fit better with my life.
For example,
Especially in the last week,
I started doing yoga again because it felt really necessary.
I've upped my level of tapping.
I've recently reconnected with tapping because of a group that I am a part of and it has been phenomenal.
And I'm literally playing around with doing tapping multiple times per day.
Because I find that it has an immediate effect on my state of being.
So for those of you who aren't familiar with what tapping is,
Tapping is acupressure,
Like self-guided acupressure.
So you tap on certain points on your face and upper body.
And you do so while saying different phrases to help you kind of release limiting beliefs.
And that for me over the last couple of weeks has really been a game changer.
It's probably been the practice I've been most consistent with.
I have meditated,
I've done yoga,
But not every day.
I have tapped every day,
Often multiple times per day.
And that has been the gift that keeps on giving to be honest with you.
I also started drinking more water.
Being really mindful to drink water first thing in the morning to really set myself up for success with hydration.
I have gone to the pharmacy and gotten vitamins.
In Italy it's very common that you don't take supplements for long periods of time.
Instead you do sort of rounds of supplements and that's what I'm kind of doing now.
So I'm taking a round of probiotics and vitamins all mixed together.
And I have also recently purchased some all natural remedies for anxiety.
Now this is honestly not something that I would normally do.
It felt really important to do it this week.
And the reason for that is because I realized that I don't have to do it alone.
And that's really challenging for me if I'm being totally honest.
So the past two weeks my anxiety levels have been extremely,
Extremely high.
Because I am normally an anxious person.
And I experience a fairly high base level of anxiety that I wouldn't even quantify as anxiety.
I don't notice that that level is me feeling anxious.
So when I recognize that I feel anxious it means that it's at an astronomically high level.
If I can say to you,
I feel anxious,
I have sensations of anxiety in my body,
Then it's,
I mean off the charts,
High.
And so I realized that I needed help doing something for this particular problem and in this particular situation.
I have also played around with CBD oil.
Right now I'm kind of using a mix of both the supplements and the CBD oil.
Because one,
I refuse to go on anti-anxiety medication for a myriad of reasons that are personal.
And this is not to say that there's no benefit to them.
I just,
I know in my heart of hearts that they're not the right decision for me.
And so I do tend to try and like use natural products or use like homeopathic remedies or natural remedies like yoga,
Tapping,
Meditation,
Etc.
To control it.
And I found that the CBD oil on its own wasn't necessarily working.
And I've tried like expensive CBD,
I've tried cheaper CBD,
I've tried 500 milligrams,
I've tried 2400 milligrams and God bless it,
But it just does not appear to work for me.
So I'm really glad that I found these supplements.
They do appear to be having a really positive effect on me.
I've been trying to cut myself some slack.
I think that's actually the biggest thing that's had a difference on the last couple weeks.
That's had the biggest effect.
I have acknowledged the way I feel,
But I haven't added a but to it.
Normally I approach myself and everyone else and everything,
To be honest with you,
As a recovering perfectionism.
And like I'm definitely in the 12 steps still.
I normally approach everything like,
Well,
I feel stressed,
But I should feel positive.
Or I feel overwhelmed,
But I need to go to work.
Or I feel this,
But I need to be working on this.
And this week I really,
Really,
Really tried to kind of take two steps back from that.
I'm going to be honest with you,
Last week was just a disaster.
I didn't behave super well.
I don't feel as though I showed up as my highest self.
I don't feel like I was very connected to my highest self or to my higher guides or any of that stuff.
Even if I was doing the practices still,
And I was,
I never stop.
I don't feel like it had necessarily a positive effect on my life.
It was important for me to continue,
But I don't feel like it had the effect that it normally would on me.
Instead this week,
I really showed up for myself and I really said,
Okay,
I feel overwhelmed and stressed and tired.
And like if I receive one more text message,
My head is going to explode.
And I just left it there because it is okay to be in that spot and it is okay to feel that way,
You know.
And then allow yourself to slowly move past it.
And giving myself permission to feel what I was feeling and kind of be where I was at really helped me move through it.
I'm definitely talking to you about a problem that I am still in the midst of,
But I do feel like the pressure is lessening.
I feel less overwhelmed than I felt yesterday,
Than I felt the day before.
And I feel more relaxed.
I feel more relaxed,
But still feeling that overwhelmed,
Which is really curious.
It's like being kind of in the eye of the storm.
Like I'm seeing the overwhelm around me and I'm feeling it a little bit,
But I'm feeling it a little bit less every day because I'm feeling safe in that space of the eye of the storm and feeling relaxed.
And I'm positive that this is an effect of all of the different things that I've been doing.
I've also been pulling oracle cards and really trying to take the advice that I get from the oracle cards to heart.
Sometimes it becomes maybe spiritual bypassing where it's kind of like a fun thing to do,
But then you kind of do it and forget it.
But this time I've really been like taking into account what they've said as well.
I've also been eating healthier and I've been eating in a more Ayurvedic way.
So this is something that I've recently been introduced to and I've discovered that my body is mostly Bada.
And honestly,
This is something that I'm I'm hoping to talk about later on the podcast again.
But this for me has been the gift that continues to give.
It has been such,
Such,
Such a massive blessing to come into contact with Ayurveda,
Even at a superficial level,
Because I feel like I have understood my body in a deeper way.
This is this is similar to when I started tracking my period and how I feel now about tracking my period.
Like I understand so much more about myself than I did when I started.
And I mean,
That is truly priceless.
So,
Yeah,
I think that's it for today.
I feel like I've chatted more with you guys today and kind of talked about all the things that I'm doing.
But I feel like when you're in a moment of stress or overwhelm,
You really need to ask yourself what you need the most and then try and give yourself that.
And I really think that I've been trying to show up,
Whether it's been to a high or low degree of success.
I really feel like I did that these last two weeks and then really tried to show up for myself.
Oh,
My goodness.
I totally forgot another thing that I did,
Which was take a couple days off.
And like I literally binge watch season one of One Tree Hill.
No fucking shame.
No shame.
I don't feel bad about it at all.
I really,
Really needed that.
You can't be go,
Go,
Go,
Go,
Go,
Go,
Go all the time.
And I have the worst fucking tendency,
The worst of going,
Going,
Going,
Burning out and needing to stop completely like bedrest almost level and then go,
Go,
Go,
Go,
Go burnout.
Bedrest level of doing nothing.
Rinse repeat.
It's a super,
Super,
Super bad habit of mine.
And it's really something that I tried to correct.
I don't think that this time I got to the point where I was at burnout at all because I know what that feels like.
But I do feel like I really needed to cut myself some slack.
Now,
I will talk about this a million times in the future.
Watching TV is something that I actually want to cut back on.
But it is my number one tool for disconnecting.
And that sounds terrible.
And I think in some ways it is.
And I think in other ways it's really,
Really powerful because sometimes we really need that moment where our heads are disconnected and we can live in another world for a little while.
And that has been huge for me.
So I'm going to recap everything that I kind of did and the effect that it had on me.
So over the last couple of weeks,
I have been meditating.
It has been less effective for me than it might normally be because when I feel super anxious,
I tend to get distracted even while I'm meditating.
Or even if I'm doing a guided meditation,
I find myself getting maybe more easily annoyed or more frustrated.
What I've tried to do in these instances then is kind of connect with my breath and really connect with my third eye,
Which is the chakra that I am inherently most connected with.
I have been doing tapping every single day,
Sometimes multiple times a day.
This has absolutely been the tool that has the biggest effect on me.
It changes my state and my energy immediately.
I don't find that the results have necessarily been long lasting,
But I don't think that that's relevant because I think they will be long lasting long term.
I think doing it multiple times per day and really showing up for myself that way has been such a gift and has had a really positive effect even on my self-confidence and my self-esteem.
And making me feel like I'm really showing up for myself and I'm really taking care of myself,
Which is something that I really needed.
I've been doing yoga.
It's been making me feel freer in my body and calmer in my mind,
But it hasn't been having the same effect,
Let's say to the level that tapping has.
Pulling oracle cards has really helped me feel connected to a higher power.
I've also been using essential oils and that's been helping me feel very calm.
I've been using CBD oil to,
I would say,
A minimum amount of success and I've been using anxiety supplements and supplements that foster relaxation.
And those have been working to a much higher degree.
I've been taking them consistently and I feel like it's had a really positive effect on me.
And I allowed myself to disconnect by watching TV and really kind of moving out of a space of go go go and settling into a space of just being.
And the last thing that I've been doing is I've been cutting myself some slack and just being really okay with wherever I am and whatever is coming up for me.
I really hope that these things serve you.
I think even energetically you can hear that I'm coming from a different space this week and I'm really trying to honor that.
I hope that you connect with this message and I hope that if you're in a moment of overwhelm that you really take a second to slow down and maybe try some of the tools that I've mentioned.
Or try some tools that you know work for you.
Ask yourself what you need and then really try and give yourself the gift of whatever that is.
And you know,
Love yourself.
Just love the shit out of yourself over the next couple days and be okay with wherever you're at because it's all okay.
It's all okay.
So I love you guys super super super so fucking much and I hope you have the most amazing weekend and I can't wait to connect with you guys again the next time the podcast comes out.
Which is Friday October no sorry Friday September 27th.
Oh my God.
Can you believe that we're getting this far into the season?
It's just crazy.
I'm really loving fall and really embracing all the coziness and like lighting candles again.
Oh,
I just love it.
So I hope your weekend is filled with all the cozy fall vibes as we fully step into fall this weekend and yeah,
If you need anything know that you can always reach out to me.
You can find me on Instagram on Facebook and on my website www.
Canvasalacia.
Com.
I'm so more than happy to connect with you and to chat more.
