Self-compassion To Heal From Burnout

I am Bindi.

I'm an integrated physician,

Mindfulness teacher,

And life coach.

My goal is to help you live with ease and joy,

Because life is too short not to.

Clients come to me feeling stressed and overwhelmed and unsure how to proceed.

And they just want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

And I knew exactly how they felt because I felt helpless and stuck for the longest time.

Despite having a stable job as a doctor,

Things look fine on the surface.

But deep down,

I was unhappy,

And it was painful to struggle alone.

I read a lot of books,

Worked with doctors,

Therapists and coaches,

And found out that I could heal myself.

And so can you.

It starts with taking care of yourself and having your own back.

It's self-care and self-compassion.

It's the key to getting out of burnout or whatever issue you're dealing with.

I think burnout is an experience that comes when chronic stress hasn't been managed successfully.

Remember that stress itself is not a problem because it's a normal human reaction.

And it's how our bodies help us respond to our environment and situations.

The problem arises when stress becomes chronic,

And it continues to activate our body's stress response or fight or flight system,

Leading to negative impacts on our physical and emotional health.

And we may see this come through in chronic pain,

Heart disease,

Insomnia,

Anxiety,

Depression,

The list goes on.

And so is burnout impacting you?

Maybe you've become cynical or irritable and impatient.

Or you feel like you don't have as much energy to be productive like before.

Or maybe you're having physical symptoms,

Or using things like food,

Drugs,

Alcohol,

Or Netflix,

To distract and help you feel better about what's going on.

No matter what you're experiencing,

Please know that you are not alone.

And it's possible to get better and out of this through practicing self-care.

Now self-care is basically anything you do to take better care of yourself,

Whether it's physical,

Mental,

Spiritual,

Just making sure you stay connected to who you really are,

Your values and what's important to you.

And self-compassion is a big piece of self-care,

Which I like to see as basically you being your own best friend and offering kindness and compassion to yourself.

Think about what do you do when you see other people going through difficult times?

Maybe you offer support,

A sympathetic ear,

Or words of encouragement to help lessen their suffering.

Now,

How do you treat yourself when you go through similar challenges?

You show yourself the same kindness when you make mistakes or experience failure.

It's not uncommon to be overly harsh and unkind to ourselves,

I find that we're just trained to be so incredibly hard on ourselves.

But practicing self-compassion can help us avoid the trap of self-criticism and self-judgment when we fall short of our goals and ideals.

Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same love and kindness that you would show a friend going through difficult times.

Whether you've made mistakes,

Experienced failure or challenging circumstances,

You are as deserving of your respect and warmth as anyone else.

And self-compassion is about being kind to yourself because you're a human being with human flaws.

And research has shown that people who show themselves compassion tend to be happier,

More resilient,

More motivated,

Have better relationships,

And they're less likely to experience anxiety and depression.

By practicing self-compassion,

You can create a kind and caring place within you that's comforting and free of judgment,

Even when things are super tight.

So I'd like to break down self-compassion into three components based on Dr.

Kristin Neff's work.

One,

Mindfulness,

Two,

Common humanity,

And three,

Self-kindness.

I'll explain the three components and then lead you through an exercise so you can further develop your self-compassion muscles in your everyday.

The first step is mindfulness,

Which is paying attention on purpose and being in the present without judgment.

I start here because we have to first be aware of what's going on in order to change it.

We have to notice and be with our suffering.

I know people hesitate because they don't want to feel the pain,

But if you think about pain as simply a message or signal from our bodies that something is going on,

It's how we keep ourselves safe.

Think about when you touch your hand to a hot stove and you feel pain and you immediately withdraw your hand back.

You don't keep your hand on the stove to feel more pain because you already registered the pain.

So it only takes a second,

But you have to acknowledge it first in order to change it.

The second step is common humanity,

Meaning remembering that we're all humans going through life and life happens.

It's messy.

Sometimes it sucks and it doesn't go perfectly as planned when we're having a hard time.

It makes the brain go into panic mode and we lose our rational mind and thinking.

And we feel like we're the only ones struggling and that something has gone terribly wrong.

So it's important to remember that everyone goes through challenging experiences and these experiences are what make you human,

Not abnormal or inadequate.

The last step is self kindness or being kind to yourself.

Now I really want you to see kindness as an active thing you can do,

Not a passive thing that just happens.

Think about something that would feel good to you.

What you would say to a friend or loved one who's going through a tough time and offer it to yourself.

But now that you know the three steps,

Let's run through a quick exercise.

You can experience self compassion.

Start with recalling a difficult situation in your life and see if you notice the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.

Take as long as you need to recall the situation and just notice what you're feeling.

Remember that feelings are sensations in the body and they're used to send us a message or signal about something.

The more you can lean in and feel your feelings,

The faster they'll pass through you.

If you try to resist and avoid or distract,

It only grows louder with time.

If you think about trying to submerge a beach ball or a unicorn floating in the pool,

You can push it under the water temporarily,

But eventually your arms will get tired and need a break and the floating rises to the surface rapidly and you're exactly where you were before.

So getting back to the exercise,

Think about something challenging and then to practice self compassion.

The first part is acknowledging what is and paying attention to the present moment.

You can say to yourself,

I'm having a hard time right now.

Using the acknowledgement as a form of mindfulness,

Just noticing what's going on without judgment,

Without judging that experience as good or bad.

You can also say this hurts,

This is stressful,

Whatever statement feels natural to you.

And then the second part is recognizing that this is something innate to all humans.

You can say to yourself,

Everyone goes through this sometimes,

Recognizing your common humanity with others that all people have trying experiences.

And it's completely normal.

Other statements may sound like other people feel this way too.

I'm not alone.

We all struggle in our lives.

Allow for us expressing self kindness.

You can put your hands over your heart,

Feel the warmth of your hands,

The gentle touch of your on your chest and just say,

May I be kind to myself,

Or maybe another phrase that would speak to you.

Like I can forgive myself.

I can be patient.

I'm accepting of myself or I was trying my best.

And now I invite you to write down the three phrases you chose and put it on a sticky note and refer back to them frequently to build your self compassion muscle.

The more you practice,

The easier it gets.

And the better you take care of yourself so that you can truly live with ease.

Sending you so much good energy on this journey.

I'll talk to you soon.