Havening And Parts Work Meditation For Releasing Stress

This is a guided meditation.

We're giving a little extra love and support to any part of you that might be feeling a little anxious or concerned with family events coming up during the holidays.

As always I invite you to welcome in the soothing havening touch,

Gently crossing your arms over your shoulders and moving your hands down the upper parts of your arms as though you're giving yourself a nice smooth soothing loving hug.

Fingertips across your brow or underneath your cheeks or gently rubbing your palms together as though you're washing your hands under warm water.

To begin I'd like to invite you to drift forward into your holiday experiences.

As you notice the upcoming week,

Week and a half,

Are there any moments that ping for your little friend Amy the amygdala?

Any information that starts to come up?

Any concerns or worries?

Even the tiniest bit of possible insecurity?

And if there is,

Don't try to quiet that part down or shut it away.

Invite that moment,

That experience to become front and center right here,

Right now.

Our mind and our body love when we listen to them.

Now that you've found that moment where you're feeling a little bit of weariness or worry,

On a scale of zero to ten,

Where ten is the most anxious you've ever felt and a zero is completely calm and relaxed,

Where would you rank this identified experience?

Just make note of that number.

We're going to check back in on it soon.

Now I'd like to invite you to really lean into the sensory experience of this anticipated moment.

What is the story that your brain is telling you?

See our brain loves to be the narrator of doom and gloom stories and anticipatory anxiety,

That's one of its favorite books.

So what is the story that your brain is telling you about what could possibly happen?

And once you've found that story,

Let's welcome in a gentle soothing breath and as we breathe in it's as though we're going quietly into our body and we're going to find where that story lives.

So breathing in to a count of four,

Three,

Two,

One,

And as you exhale deepen your connection with your mind and your body and release.

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Beautiful.

And now that you've brought your attention inward,

Where does that story live?

And it may live in your mind,

It may live in your left shoulder,

Even your little pinky finger.

Where are you noticing some energetic connection to the story of this worry or this anxiety?

And as we continue the soothing,

Loving,

Havening touch,

Invite your mind now to start gently floating back across the course of holidays past and notice is there a previous holiday experience that comes to mind that really resonates with this body energy or this mind experience that you've identified?

Here's a secret.

Anticipatory anxiety usually has a home back there in the experiences we've already survived.

See if you're able to find yours.

And if not,

That's okay.

We can continue our loving,

Healing journey as it is in the present moment.

As you're deepening your relationship with this experience,

Let's now welcome in another soothing,

Calming breath.

Breathing in four,

Three,

Two,

One.

And release six,

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two.

And notice now where the part of you that you've identified,

Your mind or your body,

Is in your past or in your present.

And as though you could bring it to become part of the here and now.

Just bringing it gently outside of you so you can get to know this part of you.

And again,

This might be tied to a younger self from your past or it could be a part of you right now that's just spinning up this anxiety that's worried either.

It's just fine.

We're inviting this part come over here so that we can move into relationship with it.

And once you've brought that part of you out,

Notice what does it look like?

Does it have a facial expression or a body posture?

Is it scared or angry?

What's happening for this part of you?

Often our parts really simply want to be heard and seen.

They're playing roles to keep us safe and you betcha our little friend Amy the Amygdala is very involved in our parts.

She's always there looking out for us.

And so as you notice that part of you that's working diligently to keep you safe with this worry and these fears,

Notice if there's any part of you that understands this part's concerns or current emotions.

As you float back across the stories of your life and your family experiences,

Why might this part be showing up for you right here right now in the way that it is?

Ask this part,

What is it afraid of?

What is it worried about?

Invite this part to share with you its deepest fears and concerns and let this part know that you do get it because you've been there too.

Notice if you can even bring in a little self-compassion,

Some loving kindness towards this part for sending up these yellow flags and an endeavor to keep you safe.

And as you continue deepening your relationship with this part,

Invite your mind,

Your attention,

And your focus for just a second to check back in with you.

Breathing in to a count of four,

Three,

Two,

One,

And release to a count of six,

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Very good.

And let's turn our attention back to this part of you that's working so hard to keep you safe,

That's protecting you with its worries and its concerns.

And ask this part now if there's an energetic state that would help it to step back just a little bit from its worries.

What does it need to soften and relax?

You can even perhaps inquire,

Is there something that you can bring forward to let this part know that you're okay,

That the fears and the concerns belong to the past,

And that right here,

Right now,

You've got this.

Maybe a feeling of calm,

Confidence,

Perhaps a feeling of strength.

And as this part listens and reflects on what you're asking it,

Notice also what your own mind and body are sharing with you.

Is there important information for this part to have about how relationships have changed over the years,

About how things are different now,

Perhaps even about the fact that you can leave if you need to.

You can call an Uber or get in a car and drive away.

Often our parts don't know that we now have independence and autonomy.

See if there's any information you can share with this part and notice what energetic state would this part like more of.

Once you have that sense,

That energetic state,

Invite your mind to float back across the course of your life and notice if you can find a time where you felt that way.

Perhaps strength at the gym,

Confidence,

Shoulders back,

Standing strong,

Maybe even the energy of setting a boundary and keeping yourself safe.

Maybe linking into a future experience of calling an Uber and saying,

I'm gonna go now,

I don't need to stay here.

And what feeling would you need to be able to do that?

Once you've found that experience and that presence in your mind or body,

What does it look like and feel like?

Does that energetic state have a color or emotion?

Imagine now that you're gently breathing into it.

Breathing in 4,

3,

2,

1 and deepening that connection with your exhale.

6,

5,

4,

3,

2,

1.

Beautiful.

Let's bring in that fantastic what if.

Invite the part to say it with you.

What if.

What if we were calm or strong or confident,

Whatever your chosen state is.

And repeat that out loud or in your mind.

Say it together with that part of you.

What if.

Really linking into it.

What if I was strong?

What if I was strong?

Deepening that connection point.

And then check in with that part and go,

Do you think we can be?

How does that feel for you?

And if the part says yes,

Then move on to the we can be strong.

I can be strong.

Or whatever your chosen felt sense is.

Inviting that part once again to really embody and connect with this energetic state that you're building together.

And if you feel like you will be,

Advance to the I will be.

I will be.

Or even if it feels comfortable,

I am.

If you feel like you are right here,

Right now.

Every step of the way,

Keep checking in with your part.

How does that part feel about this new possibility that you're creating?

And inviting it and you to notice that the more that you link into this new identified state and even imagine bringing it with you into this experience that we started with,

The stronger the connection your mind and your body will have to it.

So let's turn our attention now back to that first experience that you started with.

The one that we ranked.

And I invite you now to imagine that you're bringing that new energetic state into that space.

What if I will be,

I can be,

I am,

However far you got.

And breathing in four,

Three,

Two,

One.

And embodying that felt sense in that future experience.

Exhale six,

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two.

And notice that you have the opportunity to continue to connect with this part of you.

To thank it for its hard work.

To build a relationship where your mind and your body can communicate healthfully in a loving and compassionate way.

And you can use worry or any of these complicated feelings to actually empower you to build the brain that you want.

What a wonderful holiday gift to give yourself.

Happy holidays.

I'll see you soon.