Befriend Yourself

Hello and welcome to The Daily Insight.

My name is Emily Toner and in today's practice we are going to explore befriending ourselves.

You may never have thought about this before but you are actually in a lifelong relationship with yourself.

And for some of us that relationship might be one of a kind of friendship but for many of us we speak to ourselves in a way that we would never speak to others.

We invalidate our own experience and if you are unsure about what I am talking about then just notice how you speak to yourself the next time you make a big mistake.

But this is just part of being human and there's no need to beat ourselves up around this.

Instead we can train ourselves to be kinder and more compassionate.

To become a friend to ourselves.

This matters not only for our own happiness but for the happiness of all those we engage in relationship with outside of ourself.

Our relationship to self creates the blueprint from which our relationships to others continue.

So when you're ready getting comfortable closing down the eyes feeling into your skin and asking yourself the question how am I today?

How am I today?

Notice how you're breathing and observe is this breath the breath of someone who feels calm and centered or perhaps anxious or stressed?

Is this breath holding a sense of agitation or pain?

Or perhaps it's the breath of someone who is content and instead of judging your breath for how it is in this moment can you instead hold space?

Can you allow your breath to breathe itself in whatever way it needs to in this moment?

And with that you are starting the process of becoming a friend to yourself.

Breathing.

Allowing.

Creating space.

Now if you were to tune into this friend a bit more carefully you might start to notice that they are holding on to things that may not need to be there.

So let's just take a moment to check in noticing the face the brow the muscles around the eyes the backs of the eyes.

What are you holding here?

And can you hold a soft warm gaze even though your eyes are closed?

As if you were gazing on something that you care deeply for.

And then we can check in with the jaw noticing whether it's clenched or loose.

And if it is easier you can simply notice what holding on feels like.

There is nothing that has to be achieved in this practice other than to know ourselves better.

And to know this moment.

So you might like to scan down the rest of your friend your body.

Check in.

What else are you holding here?

What is your body trying to tell you in this moment?

And then I invite you to move your full loving attention into one of the most forgotten places in our body.

Your heart.

Bringing your full mindful attention into your heart space.

And just noticing what it feels like to breathe from the center of your heart.

In all directions breath moving outwards from the center of your chest.

And just noticing what it feels like to breathe from the center of your chest.

What does it feel like to be acquainted with this part of yourself?

The most vulnerable part of your own self.

Have you been kind to yourself of late?

Have you created a loving space for your heart to open?

Or has there been judgment?

Some unkindness perhaps?

And has it caused your heart to close or become buried?

Despite the world around us it is what we say to ourselves that has the biggest impact.

So let's tend to ourselves now.

Holding space for whatever you find here at the level of the heart.

Whether there is numbness or sadness or joy.

I invite you to hold space for your friend.

Can you show up for yourself in this moment?

And what would that look or feel like to you?

It might involve physical touch.

Placing the hand on your heart.

The hand of a loving friend.

Or it might involve some words of comfort or wisdom.

What would you love someone to say to you right now?

What do you yearn for?

Offer it to yourself as a gift.

Ungraciously accept.

Keep breathing.

Stay here.

Using the breath to anchor you to this present moment.

And if it feels a little strange or uncomfortable then don't worry.

We are not programmed for this to be our natural way and we must practice.

Practice until it feels right.

And one day,

If not today,

It will.

We are not programmed for this to be our natural way and we must practice.

We are not programmed for this to be our natural way and we must practice.

We are not programmed for this to be our natural way and we must practice.

And as we begin to come to the end of this practice,

Notice what it feels like to have taken this time to develop this sense of self-confidence.

To have taken this time to develop your relationship with yourself.

And remember that this is never selfish time.

This is one of the most unselfish things we can do.

So how do you wish to show up for yourself and for others today?

Take a moment to connect.

Tuning into your body,

Your head,

Shoulders.

Feeling into the hands and the feet.

Sensing into the soundscape all around.

And heading into your day with your best friend at your side.

Together I hope you have a wonderful day.