Rest your weary bones and eyes,
Dear one.
You find yourself with your baby once again at some unknown hour of the night.
Or day,
3am,
3pm,
How long has it been?
Who knows,
All the days and hours and wake ups merge into each other at some point.
But you are here and you know it in your bones and heart that it goes more smoothly when you surrender to being here.
Feeling the shoulds,
The coulds,
The woulds percolating and buzzing inside.
You are needed here to do nothing yet to do everything.
This task you have shown up for now,
Being with your baby in the unknown hours of the night,
Feeding,
Holding,
Settling,
Swaying,
Rocking your baby.
This is everything.
It is not nothing.
May that restless active energy that comes with the shoulds and the woulds and the coulds be preserved now as you rest and tend to your baby.
Even though you are so tired,
Sleep may seem elusive.
That's okay.
You can still rest.
Allow the information and sensations that are coming through to you.
Offer information about what you need to thrive,
To feel supported,
To feel seen.
So this restless energy that comes through,
Different thoughts and feelings and sensations.
Take note,
Take inventory.
Maybe you can take action later in some way.
Right now all there is to do is to settle in with your baby as comfortably as you can.
So your body and weight feels supported.
Let's take some contrasting,
Tense to relax breaths now.
So as you inhale,
Tense your body.
Maybe your whole body,
Maybe just your fists or your legs or your shoulders or your face and jaw.
And with an exhale,
Sigh it out and release that tension.
Two more breaths like that,
Tensing as you inhale,
Creating more tension in your body.
Hold it,
Hold it and then relax.
Release that tension.
And again,
Tensing as you inhale,
Holding that tension,
Holding that tension and then releasing that tension and see if relaxation finds you.
So we want to offer our bodies that contrast of more tension so that we can remember how to release it,
Even if just a little bit.
With your gentle awareness,
Reach into the boundary of your physical body,
Both familiar and foreign,
Forgotten even amidst the mother lode.
As you feel into the reaches of your body,
Whisper the words internally.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you to this body that has given life and love to your baby.
You feel that hard work of loving and nourishing in your weary bones.
Feel the imprint of your baby against your body.
Any sensation,
Temperature,
Movement.
If baby is settled,
You might gently trace the outline of their body with your hand.
Smooth,
Gentle,
Loving strokes.
Remembering,
Feeling,
Etching that shape,
Their length,
Their warmth,
This imprint into your heart.
Smile at your baby,
Even if you do not feel like smiling.
Even if this moment feels more like one you want to yell,
Just try a smile at your baby,
At your body,
At the strangeness and the sereneness of this moment.
We know smiling takes less muscles than frowning.
And we could really use that extra energy.
If you're by a window,
Gazing out,
Consider all the other parents up in the night with their babies.
You are not alone.
As you sit here or stand here,
Consider all the mothers and carers that have come before you,
Doing this important work.
You are not alone.
Crying,
Cooing or calm,
Here you are with your little one.
Feeling the call to nurture and showing up.
You feel the weight of this responsibility in your weary bones and eyes.
You feel the contrast of emotions thumping in your heart,
The conflicting thoughts creating tension in your mind.
As you tend to your little one,
You can tend to yourself too,
Even in the smallest of ways,
By continuing to breathe deeply and smoothly,
Ironing out the wrinkles in your breath and in your forehead,
Taking a sigh,
Softening your muscles,
Your shoulders,
Even as they stay steady to hold your little one.
Consider what quality of attention you need right now.
Be it patience,
Peace,
Rest.
And imagine the air all around you filled with that desired quality.
Breathe it in.
Storing it away inside,
Filling your cup,
Mama.
Stay here as long as you wish or a baby allows.
Let the music dance and swirl inside.
Feel the space around you,
Holding you,
Loving you,
Protecting you,
Nourishing you,
So that you can continue to nourish baby.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
Take it moment by moment.
