Today,
I would like to guide you through a soothing meditation.
The topic is very specific and nevertheless broad,
Since there are so many of us who suffer the miscarriage.
And if you are a woman who didn't and you happen to read or hear this,
Mark the thought on your gratitude list today.
It's been 15 years since my miscarriage.
I don't think of it or talk about it.
And yet,
Every now and then,
A wave of grief washes over me.
My body still feels that loss and tears still wash my face.
I know now that the loss will never go away.
So instead of shaking it off and burying it,
I've decided to embrace it,
Soothe it,
Give it the place it deserves in my body and mind.
Welcome to Inside Timer.
My name is Georgiana Patek.
For those of us who are listening to the recording,
There will be intermittent moments of silence and the sound of a Tibetan singing bowl at the end.
Please,
If you haven't done so already,
I invite you to gently nestle into a spot that you consider safe,
As comfortably as possible.
Back straight,
Maybe supported by a wall,
A couch,
A pillow.
Head slightly tilted forward.
And if you're able to listen to this meditation,
Softly close your eyes.
Let us begin by taking in at least three cleansing breaths.
In through the nose,
Long,
Deep breath.
Out through the mouth,
Strong exhale.
Be aware of fresh air filling your lungs and body,
As well as stale air leaving,
Being pushed out.
Each breath is a mini rebirth.
How beautiful is that?
They tell us that it's for the best when we miscarry.
That the body pushes out what is not strong enough to make room for what is.
That the next baby will be better fitted for life.
That the one our bodies rejected would have been weak,
Ill-equipped.
We silence our wounding thoughts with this knowledge.
Well,
Until it happens again and again.
But that is a battle for another practice.
Our meditation today will not go as deep as that.
I invite you now to softly place your dominant hand above where your heart is beating,
And your other hand over your navel.
Fingers spread,
Covering as much of your body as your hands allow.
This time,
Let's breathe in through the nose and breathe out through the nose,
Counting.
Long,
Powerful inhale,
Going as deep as we can manage.
Staying with the breath for a count of four,
Then small,
Short exhale,
Seven of them,
Until all the air is pushed out.
We'll do a few sequences together,
And then I invite you to continue on your own.
Inhale for one,
Hold for four,
Exhale for seven.
Inhale one long,
Big breath,
The longest you have ever inhaled.
Hold it in for a count of one,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Then exhale slowly.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six,
Seven.
Inhale for one,
Hold for one,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Exhale one,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six,
Seven.
Inhale for one,
Hold for four,
Exhale for seven.
Inhale for one,
Hold for four,
Exhale for seven.
When you realize your thoughts are trying to chime in,
Be too busy counting,
And gently dismiss them for later.
Our minds do wonder,
They will again and again.
Each time they do,
We're just bringing our focus back to our breath and carrying on with what we're trying to do.
This breathing technique is meant to soothe and recover the inner balance our bodies always sense in their infinite wisdom.
For in mitigating the feelings of loss our bodies experience,
We reach out through our hearts,
To our minds,
And the thoughts we create in an attempt to shield.
Because our brains are our guardians and they pile up information to help us.
However,
This information is not filtered through feelings.
The brain is an instrument.
Our thoughts are instruments.
They come from an environment controlled by prior knowledge and experience.
We are to become aware of this connection and use it to our advantage.
Our aim is to step in and filter.
Hands still above heart and navel,
Let us breathe in love and breathe out sorrow.
In through the nose,
Out through the nose.
Teeth not touching so that the jaw can relax.
With our breath,
Let us bring in love.
With our breath,
Let us push out sorrow.
Feel all the love you know yourself capable of pouring in for this body you've been given to travel through life with.
Your ally,
Your companion,
Your shield.
Exhale the used up air that no longer serves you.
I chose two quotes that resonate with me.
And because I could not decide which one would be more meaningful to this practice,
Here are both.
Grief,
I've learned,
Is really love.
It's all the love you want to give but cannot give.
The more you love someone,
The more you grieve.
All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes and in that part of your chest that gets an empty and hollow feeling.
The happiness of love turns to sadness when unspent.
Grief is just love with no place to go.
Jamie Anderson It has been said,
Time heals all wounds.
I do not agree.
The wounds remain.
In time,
The mind,
Protecting its sanity,
Covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.
But it is never gone.
Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Healing comes from a place of compassion.
Compassion for the self is still a rare concept.
It feels foreign to me regardless after so many daily meditations.
I still have to conjure reminders and I am so happy when my thoughts are soothing to myself without being prompted.
Nourish your body with cleansing breaths,
Knowing that the being that was inside you and never received all the love you had for them,
Left a hole you will feel forever.
Nourish your mind with soothing thoughts,
Grateful for the body that carries you and is so masterfully created to process and remember feelings.
You can rub your belly with your hand in a circular motion and say,
Shh,
Shh,
Shh.
I'm so sorry you had to endure this.
We're going through this,
You and I,
Together.
You can feel your heart beat and tell your heart,
I'm so sorry for the loss you feel,
My dear heart.
I cannot stop it,
But I can try to soothe it for us.
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you beautiful heart of mine for getting me through this,
For being with me steady and faithful,
Helping me walk through life one moment at a time.
And now,
I invite you to gently bring both hands to your heart.
Take one long breath through your nose and exhale it through your mouth.
Offering your body any movement it may desire,
Opening your eyes if they've been closed,
Give a big sigh.
Face the world today honoring your body with thoughts of kindness,
Compassion and understanding for what it has been through and what it is going through alongside you every moment.
I am honored you trusted me to be your guide,
Thank you.
I wish you light,
I wish you joy and above all,
I wish you peace.
Namaste.
