Accepting Others

Welcome to Me as Part of Humanity by Kirsten Doesle,

Still Potential.

This process is an invitation to recognise mindfully the sensations of security,

Belonging,

Well-being and generous heart that come with being part of a group,

As well as acknowledging and approaching the experience of disconnect or disharmony that may occur with one or some within that group.

To expand our ability to be able to feel humanity as one,

We go on to imagining expanding the inclusion of the group and the variety of those who may be part of our circle,

One of us.

This challenge to inclusion allows us opportunity to find more clarity about the lens through which we might view the other and to recognise sensation and emotion that may come with widening the circle of us.

Go gently through this process at your own pace.

The idea is to notice the new edge that you come to as you expand your circle of belonging,

Your tribe,

And the ease with which you can genuinely accept the presence of the not-so-liked in your own tribe.

This practice is intended to be performed with self-compassion and non-judgmental curious awareness and inquiry.

Ensure you are comfortable in sitting or lying.

Release muscle tension and take a moment to arrive here in body and mind.

Release your next breath out with a sigh and then enjoy a couple of full breaths in and all the way out.

Then leave your body to breathe itself with ease.

Start with gathering a sense of belonging.

Bring to mind a small group that you are part of.

This may be a family group or an interest or community group.

Notice thoughts and emotions that echo in your felt body.

Perhaps a sense of safety,

Calm,

Openness and security as you contemplate this group.

Rest in this sensation and attitude for a moment.

Perhaps you can actually identify to yourself,

Hmm,

Noticing a sense of calm or ease.

Well this feels like safety.

There may be a feeling of generosity of spirit here too.

A willingness to be there for the group.

All for one,

One for all type sense.

In knowing that you are supported and that you will happily offer support to a member of your group.

Within your group all members are equally valued and respected.

As you contemplate this group extend to them gratitude.

A sense of thank you for being my tribe.

To build this emotion use your memory and imagination.

Tune into the emotion you experience as you contemplate coming together with these people.

There may be a sense of joy,

Anticipation,

Happiness and excitement.

Ramp up this sense of positive mental state and notice in your body where it is felt.

It may be very subtle so take your time.

Check in to your throat,

Chest and gut areas.

Refresh the mental picture and thoughts to enhance this felt experience.

Acknowledge the pleasure of this positive emotional state of gratitude.

Now send well-wishing to this group in your words or these words.

May all members of my group be well.

May they be happy.

May they be filled with loving kindness and may they live in peace and be calm.

Notice how easily this comes to you.

How natural it feels to offer kindness to others in your circle.

Choose your favorite person in this group and allow their image to fill your mind's eye see them as if they were there with you.

Observe with the detached interest your mental attitude and your body sensations.

You may feel ease,

Calm,

Openness and joy.

Once again acknowledge these sensations of pleasure and safety.

Step back from this experience and the identity of the person.

Rather notice only the mental and physical state that you are experiencing.

You may deliberately note this with words like,

Ah this is how total acceptance of another feels.

This is how it feels to trust and belong.

This is a pleasurable experience.

Recall the pure non-judgmental manner of mindfulness.

Awareness of the present moment experience just as it is.

Now let that go.

Let your next breath move out fully.

Allow the pause at the end of the breath to be peaceful and breathe into your belly.

Notice breath in your body.

Scan through and release and melt any tension.

Then refresh the breath again.

It may be that there is a person in this group who for you at some time has elicited some uncomfortable emotion.

There was or is perhaps less warmth and openness in how you feel about them.

Bring this person and the uncomfortable emotion to mind.

Notice this sensation as different to how you experienced imagining your favourite person.

Remember to keep your observing distance.

These emotions are part of the human experience.

Observe yourself with interest and curiosity.

Is there reticence,

A barrier,

A lens here?

What is affecting your view of this person?

What lens might you be seeing this person through?

Be really curious here.

Drop any self judgment or self righteousness.

Some lenses we look through are those of envy,

Threat,

Feeling of not being seen as worthy by the other,

Frustration,

Disappointment.

As any uncomfortable emotions,

Thoughts or body sensations arise,

Look at them and if you can name them.

You may notice fear,

Jealousy,

Disgust or annoyance,

Frustration,

Anger,

Shame.

Notice yourself naming the emotion and with that same distance between you observing and your experience.

Ah okay,

This is how jealousy or disappointment presents in me today.

Bring the felt emotion into view.

Sit with that for a moment.

Observe all aspects of it as you would observe an interesting small and safe creature that you have found in the garden.

Withhold any tendency to judge yourself for having the emotion and notice that the attention now is on the emotion,

Not on the person.

It is likely that you don't always experience this person through that lens.

Emotions come and go.

Human behaviour changes the way we see things change.

The practice of mindfulness reminds us to be in each situation in that now moment rather than predicting our or another's behaviour.

Just as we have a clearer view when we wear the appropriate prescription lens in glasses,

We can choose skillful lenses through which to view both ourselves and others.

The practice of noticing the way we see others allows us the choice to adjust our lens.

Spend a moment acknowledging your good intention in taking this time to reflect and contemplate this topic.

Place your hands on your heart,

Breathe into your heart space and know your worth.

Allow the words,

May I be filled with loving-kindness,

May I be well,

Happy,

Peaceful and calm to wash over you.

You may wish to take your hands from your heart or you can leave them in that position.

Now revisit this difficult person.

Once again imagine them there before you.

Consider that this person is also part of your group.

Allow the sameness to you to arise into noticing.

You both enjoy the activity,

Perhaps you are both of shared opinions on some things.

Perhaps you are both just in the same family group,

Share the same relatives.

If it is difficult to find common ground try simply seeing this other as a bag of flesh and bones and vital organs,

A breathing being just like you.

Acknowledge their presence in that group with you.

Just as with mindfulness of thoughts practice we learn to allow all thoughts including those we like and dislike.

Can you allow this person to be there whilst you remain stable in your heart energy?

It is the same way that you can hear a sound that is unpleasant to you but you can maintain your equanimity.

If this is difficult for you see that with clarity and this may be enough for you.

As we strive to open our hearts edging into new territory going gently with kindness to self is best.

Just as when we start a stretching program for our body a gentle approach will have more effective and consistent long-term outcomes.

If this is where you stop finish the session by placing once again your hands on your heart or your belly and bring to mind an animal or person who supports and loves you and open yourself to receiving that love from them.

Offer yourself gratitude for taking this process.

Check into your body and soften and rest.

Sense your safety in this moment now and then take a long slow breath in,

Release out and gently open your eyes continuing into your day.

If you wish to move further ponder now a larger more diverse group of which you are one.

This may be people who live in your area,

People of your age or belief system,

Those who follow the same sports team as you do.

As you wish to add more challenge you may imagine your group encompassing a wider variety of people say by cultural or geographical boundaries.

Now imagine yourself standing with this group included,

Seen and counted.

You recognize there are those who are not exactly the same as you in many ways but there still exists a commonality.

Here there is respect for differences.

Notice how you feel in both mental activity and body.

You may feel uncertain,

Less safe than with your small intimate group but there remains still a sense of all is well.

Once again name or note the emotion and seek to find the echo of the thought in your physical body sensation.

This is how expansion of accepting feels.

Perhaps you notice heat or warmth,

Openness or contracting.

Take a moment to notice the physical echoes in your body.

Once again they may be very subtle.

Bring your awareness now back to your body here.

Acknowledge a sense of safety.

Build it from your feet up.

Feel yourself grounded in your position.

Know that you are safe where you sit or lie.

In this moment there is nothing to strive for,

Nothing to run from.

All is well.

Feel that echo in your body.

Allow it to reinforce that sensation of safety and now imagine sensing that safety as you once again contemplate this larger group.

Let your awareness sit in your body,

Your gut,

Your heart,

Your throat.

Imagine connecting to your neighbouring member.

Can you find a just like me link?

Remember you may wish to come back to the bag of bones image just like me.

It is at this point that you can continue to expand your circle until you reach your edge.

Expanding perhaps until you invite the other into your group.

Until the them becomes us.

If you notice disharmony in thoughts or body be curious.

Observe more closely.

What is it that you are experiencing in your body?

What thoughts are you noticing?

What is it that you are experiencing in your body?

What is it that you are experiencing?

Perhaps a sense of distrust,

Low-level anxiety,

A sense of vigilance or threat.

Once again look more closely at identifying the emotion,

Naming it if you can,

Observing how it feels in your body.

Let the persons fade.

The subject of interest is your personal,

Emotional and physical response.

I notice slight anxiety.

Perhaps you notice openness and relief.

All is well you are simply observing.

With kindness now allow yourself to let this go.

You may have come to an edge and with that brave heart need go no further.

If you are comfortable continue to expand.

You will need to pause this recording and continue in the same manner of expanding your inclusions and observing self.

Acknowledge your goodness in taking the time to discover more.

Understand the benefits of being gentle with yourself.

Come back into your body.

Scan through.

Sense your body supported and settled into the surface.

Feel the breath arise and pass.

Notice the temperature of your body and skin.

Hear the sounds around you.

Spend a moment simply allowing your body and mind to be free,

Awake and alert and restful.

Should you wish to take this principle off the cushion and into everyday life,

Do so with a sense of play.

As you see people in your daily life,

Search for a point of just like me.

If nothing else we are all humans on this earth in this moment.

Bones,

Organs and more.

Just like me.

Thank you for taking this challenge with me.

As you prepare to transition back to your regular activity,

Once again go inward to your heart space and acknowledge the kindness and bravery in your practice.

Go well.

Thank you.