When we experience pain,
Physical or emotional,
Our natural tendency is to find a way to avoid it,
To push it away,
To resist.
We each have our preferred avoidance strategies.
Sometimes it's alcohol or drugs,
For some of us it's work or food or exercise,
Or maybe it's television or social media or shopping for items that we think will bring us joy,
Peace,
Relief.
While these strategies may temporarily bring the escape we seek,
Eventually their novelty fades,
The buzz wears off,
The gadgets break,
The gimmicks weren't all that they promised.
And so we start the process all over again,
Looking for relief somewhere else,
In another medication,
Another strategy,
Another location,
Running on our own mental treadmills from one perceived solution to another,
And never really reaching the peace we seek.
This is called destination addiction,
The idea that the solution to our pain is out there somewhere.
If only we could get there,
To wherever or whatever there is.
This strategy will forever fail us,
Because we take our pain with us no matter where we go.
We can't outrun it.
There is no magical destination.
Pain is a part of life.
There's no way around it.
Being human means that we will experience sickness,
Injury,
Loss,
And fear.
But although pain is unavoidable,
Suffering is optional.
Suffering is the anguish that comes not from the pain itself,
But rather from the tension we create by resisting the pain.
All of our attempts to avoid discomfort,
Bracing against it,
Pushing it away,
Drowning it out,
And masking over it,
Don't alleviate anything.
They make it worse.
So if we can't stop pain,
Then what do we do?
The answer is nothing.
In our addiction to constantly do something and fix everything,
We forget that the experience of living is the destination,
And that our only true task is to simply witness and love all that arises.
When we stop doing and just be in the moment with our pain,
The pain may or may not be alleviated.
The tension surrounding the pain,
However,
Will loosen.
Being human means that we will hurt.
It also means that we hold within us the profound capacity to love through all experiences.
Emotions show up in the body as physical sensations.
So whether you are here for physical pain or emotional pain,
The process is the same.
Witness.
Accept.
Love.
Settling in now,
Taking a few deep breaths at your own pace to soften and center,
Bringing your attention to the base of the skull,
Breathing into that area of dense connectivity where the spine meets the brain,
Noticing any sensations there,
Not doing anything with them,
Just noticing and allowing,
And then shifting focus to the tip of the right ear,
Mentally tracing the soft curvature of the cartilage,
Perhaps noticing the air touching the skin or your hair lightly brushing against the ear,
And then bringing attention to the spot between the eyebrows,
Noticing any tension in the brow and forehead,
Moving to the temples,
And then down into the jaw and mouth,
Noticing any sensations,
Any tightness,
And then holding in awareness the entire plane of the face,
This area of the body where there is so much resistance,
Furrowing,
Grimacing,
Squinting and clenching,
Taking note of what's there for you,
And then noticing what happens if instead of commanding relaxation,
You lovingly whisper,
Yes,
To any sensations you feel,
Yes,
I see you,
Yes,
You may be here,
And now feeling into the chest,
Noticing the expansion of the ribcage with the in-breath and the gentle settling on the out-breath,
Imagining the breath coming in through your back,
Directly behind the heart,
And into the heart itself,
The breath filling the heart and lungs with love and compassion,
And then releasing out through the front body,
The energy of love radiating from your heart center into the space around you,
Breathing deeply,
Slowly,
Softly,
Noticing any sensations here,
Any heaviness or tension,
Any sadness or grief,
Anxiety,
Or protective barriers you may have built,
And then turning the love that you just sent into the space around you back towards your own pain,
Not trying to fix anything,
Not doing anything except acknowledging and loving the pain,
Gently whispering,
Yes,
Yes,
And shifting your attention to your mid-body,
Your stomach,
Hips,
Pelvis,
And thighs,
The powerhouse of your being.
We store a lot of trauma in this area,
Breathing into it,
Sensing any areas of tension,
Any energy swirling,
Maybe you notice a bracing in your hips,
Or a feeling of wanting to run,
Stirring in your thighs,
If you notice the desire to push away or push down any feelings,
Just acknowledge that desire,
And see if you can offer breathing room for both to exist,
The feeling and the desire to escape,
Whispering a loving and compassionate yes to these two very human emotions,
Breathing deeply and slowly,
No need to do anything,
No need to go anywhere,
Just being with sensation,
Whispering yes,
Now noticing the shoulders,
Are they heavy and relaxed,
Or tight,
Pulled high towards your ears,
Maybe you feel a band of tension across the upper back,
Not doing anything with these sensations,
They're not to be fixed,
They're just sensation,
Asking to be seen,
What happens when you softly whisper,
Yes,
I see you,
And if nothing happens when you whisper yes,
Just whisper yes to that too,
Expanding your awareness down through the biceps and the forearms to the wrists and the palms of the hands,
Noticing your fingers,
Any clenching or twitching,
Any surges of defensive energy,
Just acknowledging and offering love to all that arises,
Whispering yes,
Yes,
Yes,
And then to the lower legs and feet,
Noticing all that reveals itself to you with loving awareness,
Offering compassion and acceptance to each sensation,
Holding the whole body in soft and loving awareness,
Nothing to do,
Nothing to prove,
Nowhere to go but here,
Allowing the breath to permeate each cell of your being,
Head to toe,
Breathing in,
Yes,
Breathing out,
Yes,
Noticing how saying yes creates a loving space for pain to exist and how we have the ability to be with our pain without drowning it out or running it away,
We can hold pain tenderly in our awareness,
Gently scanning your body now,
Head to toe,
Looking for any sensations that stand out,
Any remaining areas of density or tension,
And when a sensation grabs your attention,
Witness it,
Whisper a compassionate and loving yes to it,
And then breathe into it,
Cradling it in your breath as if you are rocking a baby,
Slow and steady breaths,
No pushing,
No pulling,
Just breathing,
Yes,
My love,
Yes.
