Adult Daughter Of Wounded Mothers

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano.

I am a life coach,

Best-selling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

If you are the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother,

Then undoubtedly your life has been very difficult.

You have grown up feeling not good enough.

You have grown up feeling like perhaps your mother was jealous of you.

You have grown up being afraid to actually speak that truth.

You doubt your reality.

You feel ashamed that you don't have a connection with your mother.

You're not quite sure what is broken.

A long time ago,

Perhaps when you were still a small child,

You assumed that there was something wrong with you,

And that's why it was unavailable to you.

Your mother's life was unavailable to you.

Your love was unavailable to you.

So the fact that your mother was emotionally unavailable,

You assumed guilt for,

You assumed was your fault,

And that is where shame comes from.

The cornerstone of a healthy mind really is the ability to see oneself as worthy of love and respect,

And to believe oneself is capable of the challenges that life is going to throw at us,

And life will throw challenges at us.

The ability to recognize ourselves as being worthy of esteem,

The ability to recognize that we are both light and dark at the same time,

Therefore,

We will make mistakes,

Therefore,

We will dance with our shadows from time to time,

And because that is true,

We also need to have a certain sense of esteem that allows us to also experience self-compassion,

Compassion for the self,

For when we recognize we've danced with our shadows longer than we would have liked to,

Or we were living below the veil of consciousness,

And repeating unhealthy patterns outside of our awareness,

And we hurt people.

We didn't mean to,

But we did.

And so when you have a healthy relationship with a strong role model,

Specifically a mother,

And you are a daughter,

Then you are receiving this powerful feminine divine energy that allows you to develop your own powerful feminine divine energy,

An energy that is compassionate,

An energy that is forgiving,

An energy that is creative.

But when you are denied compassion,

When you are denied healthy sense of self,

When you are denied forgiveness,

When you are denied this connection to this being that your being assumes is divine,

Then your natural ability to stay connected to spirit is lost,

At least temporarily.

Your higher self is the door that no one can shut.

Your higher self is always there.

Your spirit is always there trying to guide you,

And you know it because you sense your intuition,

Dear one.

You know when you've ignored a red flag.

The red flag is one thing,

But the intuition that this is a red flag comes from the divine.

Now if you have been denied a right to feel love,

Then you feel disconnected from the sacred energy within you,

And that's not your fault.

And so you get stuck in the 3D,

I call it the 3D quagmire experience.

You get stuck on this quantum timeline.

You get stuck in the reality of the wounded inner child.

You get stuck,

Full of all of these abandonment wounds,

And your ego then has assumed that it's your fault that you have been experiencing abandonment.

And then your inner critic gets involved,

Which is also below the veil of consciousness,

And is trying to get you to people please,

Or to enable,

Or to figure out how to seek approval from another 3D faulty dualistic personality.

But this all happens below the veil of consciousness,

And it's not an easy path out of this.

And I feel the reality is that those of us who are gravitating towards this information tend to be wounded healers.

We tend to be empaths.

We tend to be people that we refer to as light workers,

People who we refer to as seers,

People who we refer to as shamans.

They don't even know that they're shamans,

Meaning that we are a collective of people who are here,

And we feel called to figure out,

What's this stuff within me?

Am I here to transcend?

What is this spiritual calling?

What is this spiritual transformation?

Why has my life been so difficult?

A lot of people aren't asking those questions,

And so I don't think it's any coincidence that you're hearing these words,

Or you're receiving this message,

Or feeling these vibrations.

In fact,

I believe that you're supposed to be here,

And you're supposed to be hearing this,

And your spirit is supposed to be moved.

Why?

So that you can awaken,

So that you can transmute,

So that you can keep up with the natural energies that are this planet.

What I mean by that is that we know that the planet itself or the universe itself is expanding,

Because we can measure the distance between planets and stars.

So this universe itself is expansive.

And so we know,

Then,

That it is important for us to also expand.

We should not remain below the veil of consciousness,

Thinking like an earthworm,

Or thinking like a German shepherd.

We are divine human beings with the ability to speak and to think,

Unlike an earthworm,

Unlike a wild horse.

And I say it's high time we learned to use it.

So the ability to observe the way you think is called metacognition.

That's self-awareness.

Without self-awareness,

You can't shift.

It's very important for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers and or alcoholic mothers,

Because alcoholic mothers are consumed by their addiction.

And we also recognize that addiction is fueled by,

Very oftentimes,

Abandonment and not being able to escape this inner pain.

However,

Until an alcoholic mother,

Very much like a narcissistic mother,

Accepts that something's wrong and does the self-awareness work,

Or the inner child healing work,

Or the spiritual work necessary to look within,

Then the trauma that is fueling the addiction,

Or the trauma that is fueling the narcissism,

Persists.

This 3D world is one that's built by default,

If you will.

There are patterns and programs in place that bypass what any of us really understand.

In other words,

Like we all incarnate on this planet unaware that we're snapping into a karmic grid,

Or we're snapping into our mother's karma.

We are aligning with our mother's energy.

And by default,

We will manifest a lot of,

If not all of,

What our mothers have experienced.

So if we had a difficult relationship with our mother,

And our mother had a difficult relationship with her mother,

It is not rocket science when we awaken as adult daughters on this path and realize we're struggling with our relationships with our daughters,

But we don't know why.

And stuck in the 3D,

Our ego is telling us that we're right and our daughters are wrong.

She's like her father,

Or she's like her grandfather,

Or she's like her grandmother.

It's hard for us to recognize what's really going on,

What's really happening at a quantum level,

What's really happening in the dimension of spirit,

What's really going on.

And so it is possible,

If you are the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother,

That you are walking in her karmic shoes and don't even realize it.

How does that happen?

Well,

If your mother is a narcissist and she suffered rejection in her life,

And she's just decided that there's no way to please anybody,

So now she's just going to please herself,

Take no accountability,

Remain a two-year-old that wants her way and feels entitled and believes that she's a victim,

Well then you're going to be her antagonist in her life.

She's going to view you that way.

Now until she awakens,

This stays the way it is.

She can be 90 years old and you could be her caretaker and she could still believe that you're not doing enough for her.

I hear this.

I hear this in my membership site.

I hear this inside my coaching programs.

This happens.

So how does our mother's karma then affect us and how do we snap into this karmic wheel?

Well,

If my mother rejects me,

Then I am tethered to her experience because her abandonment has wounded me and now as a result,

I act out that abandonment.

How does that abandonment act out?

Through codependency,

Through not feeling good enough,

Through seeking approval,

Through editing myself and morphing myself and trying to figure out what other people think I should be and then twisting myself into a pretzel until I have met the expectation and perception I think that you have of me.

I continue on this journey.

I continue on this karmic wheel and this is true for sons as well as daughters of narcissistic mothers and narcissistic fathers.

I am by default have no other recourse but to remain asleep in this matrix experience until I awaken.