RAIN For Difficult Emotions

This is a practice for helping you to work through difficult emotions,

So emotions maybe that you don't like feeling,

That you don't want to feel,

That stick with you and you can't shake,

Shake off,

Shake,

Let go of,

Um,

Yeah,

The emotions that make you feel uncomfortable.

So often these are,

These are the so-called negative emotions,

Like anger,

Jealousy,

Disappointment,

Those sorts of things.

I'm sure you,

You know yourself what,

What emotions you find difficult or even looking at events that feel unresolved to you,

So just a way of working,

Working through,

Working through the hard stuff.

And in it we use this acronym called RAIN,

So RAIN stands for Recognize,

Allow,

Investigate and Nurture.

This practice can be used with retrospect on,

On an event,

So you can,

Maybe you had a difficult emotion,

A difficult experience a few days ago,

You can use this now to work on that in the past.

If you are going to use this practice in the moment to work through something when you are feeling that emotion,

It's really important that you do some grounding work,

So some deep belly breathing or something first to ground yourself and to regulate the nervous system before you do this practice,

Because when we're in a triggered,

When this nervous system is triggered and we're in that fight or flight state,

We don't really think clearly and we can't actually work through things properly,

So it's very important that you,

You calm yourself or you calm the nervous system down before you do any work on helping you to work through emotions,

Difficult emotions,

Any emotions,

We need,

We need the nervous system to be calm in order to think clearly.

So yeah,

Let's do the practice.

So when you're ready,

Finding that comfortable seated position and gently closing the eyes,

Softening the forehead,

Softening the cheeks,

The jaw,

Maybe swallowing once,

Softening the shoulders and then lengthening the spine,

Sitting up straight so that you're awake and alert and pleasant,

But then softening back into it,

So you're not holding yourself tightly,

You're not causing unnecessary tension,

You're sitting in this comfortable position,

Awake and alert,

But also soft and as relaxed as possible,

And then bringing to mind an event from the last week or two where you experienced a difficult emotion or an event that was difficult,

A feeling that feels unresolved,

And to begin with,

It's good to start with less triggering events and work your way up,

So say on a scale of 1 to 10,

From 1 being not very triggering and 10 being you're in a trauma response state,

Keeping it around a 0 to 3,

1 to 3 level first and then gradually,

Gradually working your way up,

And of course,

If you need extra support,

Either journaling afterwards,

Or coming and talking about it in the community forum or in the group coaching call,

Or even if you do need more support,

Obviously you can talk about it in therapy,

So bringing to mind this event in the last week or two,

This difficult event that brought up difficult emotions,

And just bringing it to your mind's eye and picturing it,

Picturing it,

Where it was,

What was happening,

Who was there,

What was being said,

Just visualising,

Visualising what was happening,

Remembering it,

Remembering this event,

This difficult event,

And as you remember it,

Checking in with yourself and noticing what emotions you are experiencing,

So that our brain recognises what emotions were you feeling when this was happening,

Anger,

Sadness,

Resentment,

Fear,

Disappointment,

And labelling the emotions to yourself,

And there might be a couple,

Often with more difficult emotions there can be a sense of embarrassment too,

Or a sense of shame,

Like we shouldn't be feeling this,

So if that is there,

Labelling that too,

Recognising what emotions you're feeling,

And allowing them to be there,

So the A of RAIN allow,

Giving yourself permission to feel whatever it is you're feeling,

You are allowed to feel this way,

You have permission to feel this way,

There is nothing wrong with you,

For feeling these things,

Noticing if there is resistance,

A sense of feeling like you shouldn't be feeling this way,

And really giving yourself permission to feel whatever it is you're feeling,

As we then come to the I of RAIN,

Investigate,

And beginning to investigate on a physical level,

Where can you feel these feelings and emotions,

Where in your body,

Can you feel these emotions,

Maybe the belly or the chest,

Throat,

Shoulders,

Legs,

Arms,

Head,

Where are there stronger feelings,

Or maybe where is numb in your body right now,

And what is the quality of the sensations here,

So it could be tingling,

Tightness,

Softness,

A sense of heat,

A sense of squeezing,

A sense of knots,

A sense of grumbling or movement,

Where are you feeling these emotions and what do they feel like,

How do they feel in your body,

And still allowing for whatever feelings are there,

Without story or anything,

Just allowing the feelings to be there,

And as we move from investigate to nurture,

Asking yourself,

What are these emotions communicating,

What do they need,

And how can I better take care of this part of me,

If you're unsure,

Or if the answers don't come immediately,

That's okay too,

Just putting the question out there,

And maybe the answer will come some day later,

If an answer comes as to what this emotion is communicating,

Or what it is you need,

Do what you can to express to yourself,

Or to give yourself what it is this emotion is communicating it needs,

More often than not,

What we really need is to be loved and cared for,

So doing what you can to show yourself that love and care,

The moment might even just be giving yourself a squeeze,

Wrapping your arms around yourself,

Giving yourself a kiss,

Or placing a hand on the heart and the belly,

Or the part of your body that has the strong sensations,

And sending some loving kindness inward,

Knowing that you're here for yourself,

And you're trying your best,

And maybe it's not that,

Maybe it's something else that you need,

And whatever it is that you discover this emotion is communicating,

To you,

Finding a way to show that to yourself,

Whether it's in the present moment,

Or whether it's you need to take action later,

To take care of this need,

And if the answer doesn't come now,

That is okay too,

Maybe it'll come later,

You've asked the question,

And the answer will come sooner or later,

It can be very easy to get lost in thought throughout this practice of justifying our emotions,

Of retelling the story of what happened,

If you ever notice that at any point,

It's just coming back,

Coming out of the story,

And coming back to the present moment with the body,

With the breath,

And just coming back to those basics of recognizing,

Allowing,

Investigating,

And nurturing,

As you close the practice,

Just letting go of the thoughts,

The emotions,

And just really reconnecting with your body,

With your breath,

And we'll just close off by taking a few deep belly breaths,

So breathing out together,

And then breathing in slowly,

Slowly the belly expands,

Filling with life,

Oxygen,

Energy,

Air,

And then breathing out slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

Letting go of what no longer serves you,

Arriving in your body,

Another time,

Long,

Full,

Expansive breath in,

Breathing out slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

One last time,

Long,

Full,

Expansive breath in,

Breathing in life and energy,

And slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

Breathing out,

Letting go,

Being alive with your body,

Allowing the breath to return to its natural rhythm,

With the body connecting with the breath,

And then feeling free to stay here for a little while longer if you wish,

Otherwise,

Whenever you're ready,

Gently opening your eyes,

And gradually making your way into the rest of your day.