Hi,
This is Ori Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you on a movement-based meditation on leading with love over fear.
Oftentimes,
In relationships,
We are fighting these two different parts of ourselves.
The part of ourselves that really wants love,
And the part of ourselves that fears it.
And as a result,
We may have conflicting behaviors that pushes and pulls someone we love over and over again.
That really wants to deepen intimacy and connection,
But often sabotages that because of fear.
So let's work with this and see if we can harmonize those parts in this experience.
To begin this meditation,
Find a position that feels supportive to your body right now.
Whether that's sitting,
Standing,
Or laying down.
I'm going to invite you to take two deep breaths with me.
Breathing in,
And breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in,
And breathing out.
You may close your eyes or lower your gaze and start to imagine the part of you that wants love.
That leads with love and an open heart.
You may imagine this by envisioning yourself on a movie screen.
The ways that you tend to move when you are leading with love,
Trust,
And an open heart.
How you are holding yourself in your body.
The qualities in which you are gesturing and moving in relationship to another.
How do you see yourself when you are leading with love?
Once you grasp the way that you inhabit these qualities of love in your body,
Start to physically invite these movements and these postures into your body.
For instance,
If you saw on this movie screen that leading with love looks like moving your body with a lot of flow.
Taking up space,
Moving slowly.
Then literally start to move those qualities.
Fluidity,
Taking up space,
Slowness.
Really start to embody this part of you that wants love.
That loves love.
Allow these movements to evolve or shift into whatever else they want to become in this moment.
You can play with it and let it evolve.
Maybe the fluidity turns into play.
Maybe the taking up space turns into more powerful movements.
There is no right or wrong.
Just allow the natural flow of movement to happen.
Once you feel into this part of you,
All the qualities that it embodies,
That is embodied within you through love,
I'm going to ask you to imagine that you are taking this embodiment of love from your entire body and put it into your right hand.
You may imagine that you're taking this movement from your heart,
From your arms,
From your legs,
From your mind,
Wherever,
And putting it all into your right hand.
To hold onto it for now,
Until we come back to it in a few minutes.
And now,
Let's focus on the part of you that leads with fear.
That shuts down acts of love or intimacy due to fear.
When you envision this part of you,
Or you envision a version of yourself that leads with fear on that movie screen,
What do you see?
How do you see yourself holding yourself in your body?
What qualities of movement are you embodying?
How are you gesturing and moving about your life in relationships?
You may notice more constriction,
Moving faster,
Perhaps more chaotic,
Making your body smaller,
Maybe not moving at all.
Again,
There's no right or wrong,
And this is going to be unique to you.
However you're envisioning this version of yourself or this part of yourself that leads with fear,
Start to put those movements into your body.
Gently,
If you can,
And reminding yourself that you're not actually in fear,
You're just trying it on.
Trying on this part of you that leads with fear.
While holding the awareness that you do have this part of you that leads with love still in your right hand.
So just know that part of you is still there,
Even as you're exploring this less comfortable part that inhabits fear.
How are you literally moving your body right now?
As you try on fear,
You might literally invite constriction.
You may literally make your body smaller or move really fast to the point that it feels anxiety provoking or whatever else you saw on your movie screen or in your mind's eye.
Once you have a solid embodied understanding of what this fear feels like,
I'm now going to invite you to imagine putting that in your left hand.
Taking these qualities of the part of you that leads with fear,
Or the part of you that is fear,
And putting it in your left hand.
Now,
With the part of you that is love in your right hand,
And the part of you that is fear in your left hand,
Begin to move each of these hands with the qualities that you brought into each of them.
So your right hand of love might move with more flow,
Taking up more space,
And your left hand might move with more constriction and chaos.
Or,
Again,
Whatever was your experience of each of these parts.
And as they're moving separately yet together,
See if these hands may want to start interacting with each other.
The fear and the love,
What might happen when you invite them to connect?
Does the part of you that loves have objections or resistance?
Does the part of you that fears have objections or resistance?
Does one of these parts feel more willing to connect while the other doesn't?
Notice all of this happening as you move these hands.
And don't force anything to happen.
Don't put any expectations on anything to happen.
And just give yourself the next two minutes to have this space to work through whatever each of these parts of you organically want to work through as you have invited them to connect.
And as you're moving these hands,
These parts of you,
During these two minutes,
You may allow yourself to notice any words that come up,
Any phrases that you hear from either of these hands.
You might notice that you can put an age on each of these hands and generally allow yourself to be open to letting in more information as you're working through this invitation to have your hands connect,
Which is essentially the part of yourself that loves,
The part of yourself that fears coming to connection.
Whatever your hands are doing right now,
Try to find an ending to this interaction.
How do each of these parts want to end?
Do they want to find their own separate spaces?
Do they want to come together somehow if they haven't already?
What might feel like a resolution or closure for now?
Wherever you are,
Wherever you've landed,
Acknowledge both of these parts and the role that they've played in this meditation today and also the role that they continue to play in your lives.
Remember that both of these parts of you are parts of you.
They coexist.
And while one of these parts may feel more dominant at times,
To the point where you forget that the other part exists,
They both are always there.
If you're feeling more fear,
Remember that the part of you that loves and wants to love and leads with love is still there.
And when the part of you that loves is more dominant,
You may not want to acknowledge that there's still a part of you that fears.
And that's okay because that's a natural part of you that wants to make sure you feel protected.
And that can be done in a way that is healthy,
That is helpful in progressing your relationships by expressing needs and boundaries.
Try to drop the idea that these parts are either good or bad and begin to see them as a coexisting team that can work together and create this beautiful harmony of opening up your heart while continuing to express certain boundaries that help you feel safe enough to continue opening your heart even more,
To love even more without the anxiety or sabotage or pushing away.
If your eyes are closed,
You may gently open your eyes now and look around your space.
Make physical contact with yourself to let you know that you are here in the now.
And take one more deep breath together,
Breathing in and breathing out.
If you'd like to do a deeper dive on loving deeply and embracing intimacy with less fear or sabotage,
Come visit my Insight Timer profile and join my course called You are Worthy of Love,
Healing from Trauma.
I hope to see you in there and until next time,
You deserve all the love that you desire.
