Hi,
My name is Orit Krug,
Board Certified Dance Movement Therapist and Trauma and Relationship Expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on how to feel safe to be vulnerable.
When we're holding on to unresolved past trauma,
It can feel impossible to be vulnerable in relationships.
No matter how many times we tell ourselves,
Just be vulnerable,
Just let your guard down,
Just open up,
The body and the nervous system almost fight harder in retaliation,
Closing us up,
Shutting everyone out,
And feeling so alone as a result.
I want you to know that this is not your fault if you are feeling this way.
This is an effect of past trauma that makes it feel unsafe to get close and open up to anybody.
So let's try to shift that a little bit today in movement.
You can begin with your body positioned any way that feels good to you right now,
Whether that's sitting down,
Lying down,
Maybe standing up.
We'll take three deep breaths together,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One last time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,
Imagine what it looks like to have such a guard up,
To be so afraid to be vulnerable.
If you could imagine that there's something,
An object,
An energy,
Or anything else that's maybe guarding your heart or covering up some other part of your body.
Could look like a steel plate over your heart.
It could look like you being in a tiny enclosed space with no doors.
Just let your imagination find this image for you that represents how guarded you are and why it's so hard to be vulnerable.
You may see a lot of detail or you may not.
As long as you have general idea or visualization,
We can work with that.
Staying in your imagination,
I'm going to ask you to invite movement to start interacting or moving with this thing that is guarding you.
How can you invite movement into your body right now that allows you to interact with what's making it so hard to be vulnerable?
If you imagined a steel plate over your heart,
Maybe you instinctually start putting your hands around your heart and rubbing it and making warmth there.
Maybe if you imagine that you're in this enclosed space without doors,
You start to just feel around with your hands,
Maybe push against it a little bit.
Use your imagination with movement,
Bringing in whatever images work for you right now.
If you need to bring in an object to create a door,
You could do that.
If you need to bring in a formula that breaks down steel,
You can bring that in too.
There's no right or wrong.
And we can even be a little playful with this exploration.
You need to move to gently and gradually work with this image that is guarding your heart.
And you don't have to resolve it.
You don't have to take it all out right now or break through whatever's blocking you.
In fact,
It's important to recognize that whatever is guarding you has also been a really important protective mechanism for when you did experience trauma.
It did help you.
It did save you from even more pain and heartache.
And while we recognize that it's no longer needed,
We still have to give our bodies a chance to gradually and gently melt those protective layers away.
Because if you do it all at once,
It will just be too scary,
Too much,
Too fast.
And it could have the opposite impact that you're really wanting,
Which is to be more vulnerable.
So in your exploration,
In your movement right now,
Be gentle.
Go slow.
Don't rush.
Be gentle force.
Be kind with yourself.
You may be imagining and moving the same exact thing over and over again,
Or maybe it's evolved into something different.
Now because this is just a short movement meditation,
It's probably going to feel unfinished,
And that's okay.
But what's important about this being unfinished is that you find a way to close it up for now.
Continue to use your imagination to get closure with this right now.
Perhaps you started melting away some of that steel plate,
But it's still there.
Maybe through the melting process,
There has been some sharp edges that formed.
So using movement and your imagination,
You might make sure that those rough,
Sharp edges are actually soft and gentle.
Perhaps in your movement visualization,
You started building a door to open up the space,
But the door is unfinished.
So maybe you imagine and move,
Putting some really strong tape on the openings so that you can come back to it and finish it at a later time.
There is no right or wrong here,
And everybody who's doing this right now is going to imagine something different from their subconscious.
Do what you need to do at this moment to close this exploration for now.
And when you've reached a satisfying enough ending,
Take a deep breath in and out,
Allowing this visual to slowly fade.
Get back to your body through physical touch or a pose,
Maybe holding yourself,
Maybe just firmly placing your hands on your lap or something else that feels right to you right now.
And take another deep breath in and out.
You can come back to this meditation at any time and pick up where you left off,
Or perhaps a new image will pop up and you'll get to explore another layer.
No matter what your experience was today,
I hope that you got a taste of feeling that you were in command of your ability to be vulnerable and open up.
Without rushing and without putting pressure on you,
It is possible to be vulnerable without shutting down or pushing anyone away.
Thank you so much for doing this meditation and exploring this deeply with yourself.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
