The Virtuous Cycle: Mindfulness To Unite Values With Action

Welcome friends.

Today I'll be discussing what I call the virtuous cycle method.

It's a method we can use to better integrate mindfulness and meditation into our personal and work lives and not leave our practice on the cushion.

Before we begin,

I invite you to fully arrive in this space.

I encourage you to mute your background music or TV set.

Minimize computer screens that might be visible.

Tend to that lovely meal that's cooking on the stove.

Close the door.

Whatever you need to do to encourage privacy,

Quiet,

And an ability to fully show up with minimal distractions,

I encourage you to do that now.

Now taking our seats,

We settle in and allow the body and mind to be fully present,

Attentive,

And open in this moment.

We can acknowledge that sometimes it's a small act of bravery to try to let go of distractions and just be with our minds,

Which can often act like monkeys swinging from one tree to another.

So let's offer ourselves some kindness.

Let's take three deep inhalations and exhalations.

On the first inhalation,

We more fully arrive in this moment.

Exhaling,

We allow ourselves to let go of what came before this moment,

Recognizing that we can always come back to it.

In the next inhalation,

We can more fully arrive still in this moment.

And as we exhale,

Allow ourselves to let go of future planning,

Acknowledging that we can return to that activity after this session.

Finally,

Deeply inhaling a third time,

Allowing both mind and body to open up to this present moment,

Fully arriving,

And as we exhale,

Fully letting go.

As you sit in a relaxed position,

Allow the breath to move in and out of the body at its own rhythm.

Notice the quality of the breath.

Is the breath deep or shallow?

Is it long or short?

Chubby or smooth?

Notice the quality of the mind.

Is it restless,

Calm,

Or agitated?

This is mindfulness in action.

At any given time,

We can,

With intention,

Turn our attention inward to see what's there.

This is the beauty of mindfulness.

It's a completely mobile tool that we can summon at will to help us.

When we investigate our inner worlds,

We're not adding anything to what's already there.

Like a sculptor sculpting a work of art,

The sculptor seeks to remove that which obscures the work within.

Similarly,

We can use our attention intentionally to examine what's happening inside of us,

And from that stance,

We can better decide what,

If anything,

We want to do about it.

Now let's set an intention for this session.

May our efforts be of service,

Not only to ourselves,

But to those we care about,

Strangers,

Distant ones,

And all sentient beings.

And now let's turn our attention to the subject of this talk.

This is part one of a five-part series.

This program is for those who seek to apply their mindfulness and meditation practices to their work and personal lives in ways that more fully express their inner values,

Their ethical values.

In this program,

I'll be demonstrating a method for us to take a more all-of-life integral approach to our contemplative practices.

These days,

Our meditation practice on the cushion seems to be aimed at cultivating a sense of present moment awareness,

Focus,

And peace.

This is good because when we're able to place our focus attention on an object,

Such as our breath during meditation,

And do so in an open and relaxed way,

Our minds and bodies respond by rediscovering our natural capacity to be still,

Calm,

And to feel connected to our world.

This helps us reduce stress,

Anxiety,

And worry,

And feel a greater sense of emotional balance.

And all of this is very beneficial,

Particularly in a culture where we often are taxed to our limits physically,

Psychologically,

And emotionally.

But our meditation practices are so much more powerful than that.

When we leave our practice on the cushion,

Without taking it along with us as we interact with others out in the world,

It's like finding a treasure chest on the sidewalk,

Opening the lid,

Removing one gold coin,

And leaving the rest.

We're missing out on all of this precious treasure.

And frankly,

This missed opportunity is why I decided to give this talk.

I've been studying and practicing contemplative practices for over two decades,

And teaching for several years.

I've taught at law firms,

I'm a lawyer myself,

In corporate America,

Government agencies,

Yoga studios,

And elsewhere.

Most of the time,

The people I've taught already had some introduction to mindfulness,

Meditation,

Or yoga.

But what I saw was a disconnect between what was happening on the cushion or yoga mat,

And what was happening in students' work and personal lives.

Students wanted to do better in their lives,

Interact with others in less destructive ways,

Better regulate and even transform their negative emotions.

But after experiencing some temporary calm or even bliss on the cushion or mat,

Students seemed not well equipped with tools that they could take out into the world to learn how to transform negative or harmful mind states to more positive and beneficial ones.

They were leaving so much of their treasures behind,

Treasure that could enrich their own lives and the lives of others.

I thought maybe this talk could help in some small way change that.

What I've sought to do in this program is to help you recognize the treasure you have in these contemplative practices,

And show you a systematic way of taking advantage of that treasure to transform harmful mind states and habits to more skillful ones,

Using a process I call the virtuous cycle.

Since I began the study of Buddhism and Eastern contemplative practices more than 20 years ago,

My personal orientation has always been,

How will this help me in a practical way?

While the more theoretical or esoteric aspects were of course of some interest,

I came to these teachings as a lawyer who was psychologically,

Spiritually and physically suffering,

Especially in my work life.

More than 20 years ago,

By happenstance,

I came across a yoga studio and started going to classes.

There,

I began to experience an inner peace and serenity,

Unlike any I had ever known before.

I was so moved that I soon enrolled in a yoga teacher training program.

Yoga then became the to the Buddhist teachings,

And these I found to be even more transformative.

At that time,

I was having a lot of difficulty with one of the partners in particular,

At the law firm where I was working as a senior associate.

In Buddhist parlance,

I was experiencing a lot of dukkha,

That is suffering,

Pain,

Unsatisfactoriness.

From my point of view,

This lawyer was disrespectful and condescending to me.

Another lawyer described him as one who would use a cannon to kill a fly,

And I had to work closely with this lawyer a lot.

So many days I would go home,

Grab a bottle of wine,

And sit with my neighbor on her porch.

She was a young female CEO of a tech startup,

Working in a hostile environment,

And thus was experiencing plenty of dukkha herself.

So we'd sit on the porch,

Drowning our sorrows in a buttery chardonnay.

Well,

I was pretty sure that the answers to my problem couldn't be found in the bottom of my wine glass,

But I wasn't sure where the answers would be.

Then,

By chance,

During my yoga teacher training,

We were introduced to what I didn't know then,

But later discovered was a loving-kindness meditation in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition.

This is a meditation that seeks to cultivate warm-heartedness and compassion toward yourself and others.

Starting with yourself,

You generate a sense of kindness and friendliness toward yourself.

Then expand these feelings outward,

Starting with loved ones like your child or your dog,

Then those not well known,

Such as your UPS driver or grocery store clerk.

Then,

And for many this is the most challenging piece,

For those whom you dislike.

So that's the practice I learned,

And I kept doing it several times a week for many weeks.

My intention was to aim at being less self-pitying and to reduce the hatred and ill will that I had toward the law partner.

I wanted to be more at peace with this situation that I found to be so,

Frankly,

Sucky.

I tried to generate compassion for myself and my suffering for a situation I knew I could not change,

Because it was clear to me that no other partners were going to step in to help me.

So I just held that.

I sat with that and really got familiar with the many different aspects of what that felt like and my storytelling around it.

And then I tried to be more loving-kindness toward the man whom I had regarded as my nemesis.

As you can imagine,

This wasn't easy at first.

After all,

I regarded this man as the source of my pain and suffering at work,

Which of course I also took home.

I took his behavior as a personal attack on me.

My ego and sense of self felt personally threatened.

Well,

I carried on with the loving-kindness practice for many weeks.

Over time,

Slowly I started to see this lawyer as a suffering human being as well.

Of course,

I knew nothing about his personal life,

But I imagined he must have been so unhappy to treat others so miserably.

I began to not take it so personally.

I began to soften a bit my sense that I was the center of the universe and allow for the possibility that this had very little to do with me.

These were the insights I gained from my work on The Cushion.

I was mindful of and applied these new insights during my interactions with the partner.

So whenever I would have some interaction,

Which was often distasteful,

I would recall these insights and then just pause,

Quickly taking a few deep breaths,

Which created some space in my mind to help me figure out how to respond instead of just blindly reacting.

Sometimes I would even silently wish for him to be happy and to be well.

At the end of the day,

Before I went to bed,

I would briefly review my day to reflect on what was working and where I needed to make adjustments.

So,

By applying this mindfulness practice in this way,

Meditating on The Cushion with intention,

Coming into contact with that which produces suffering,

In this case interactions with the law partner,

Recalling the insights and my intentions from my formal practice on The Cushion,

Applying the antidote of pausing or the wish to be happy,

Then later reflection and adjustments,

I was able to slowly,

Slowly transform my negative mind states,

Which,

Let's be honest,

Were more destructive to me than to anyone else,

Toward more positive,

Beneficial ones.

I call this process the virtuous cycle because it enables us to build capacity for virtuous action.

And when we keep repeating the process,

Our capacity for virtuous action continues to increase and deepen,

Leading to a virtuous cycle.

By the way,

Working with the loving-kindness practice didn't mean that I should have excused my law partner's behavior,

And such practices are not a substitute for taking wise,

Corrective action.

But for me,

Based on the information I had,

I knew that,

Short of quitting,

No corrective action was forthcoming.

In the end,

I was able to disrupt the destructive mental patterns I was developing,

Hatred,

Ill will,

Self-pity,

And lay down new neural patterns for compassion and forbearance,

And gained strength and resilience from the situation itself.

Outwardly,

Not much changed,

But inwardly,

Everything did.

In the next session,

I'll go into more detail about the elements of the virtuous cycle,

What they are,

How they fit together,

And how you can integrate this cycle into your daily work and personal lives to move in the world in ways that better align with your inner values.

But before I do that,

I want to talk about the influences on the development of the virtuous cycle and give you a brief preview.

The virtuous cycle is based on a number of influences.

Most significantly is my training in and understanding of Tibetan Buddhism.

I borrow heavily from my teachers who taught me the methods of mental cultivation or mind training during my cumulative years of study in India,

Thailand,

And Nepal.

This involved learning particular methods to train the mind to let go of or oppose harmful mental states such as hatred and anger,

As well as methods to cultivate positive mental states such as patience and loving-kindness.

Please note that the methods I'll be discussing are equally as effective for secularists,

That is,

Those who don't adhere to the religious aspects of Buddhism.

In this regard,

My work is informed by the Dalai Lama's book Beyond Religion,

Which considers much of the approach I'll discuss and which takes the view that this type of mental cultivation is equally effective for non-Buddhists.

Similarly,

I'm indebted to former Buddhist monk and now teacher and writer Stephen Batchelor,

Perhaps most well known for his book Buddhism Without Beliefs.

As the title suggests,

Batchelor,

Who now calls himself a secular Buddhist,

Says that his practice is concerned with responding as sincerely and urgently as possible to the suffering of life in this world here and now,

And eschews those views common in India and elsewhere during the time of the Buddha that require belief in metaphysical views such as reincarnation.

I also have a foot in the Vipassana insight meditation tradition,

Having engaged in any number of silent insight meditation retreats in the East.

And finally,

My work is informed also by my integral coaching background.

My integral coaching training concerns itself with addressing practical problems and goal attainment.

It does this through a process that examines our current way of being with an issue we want to work on,

Developing insight,

Building capacity in weak areas,

And envisioning the new way of being we wish to embody as we interact with the problem or issue.

The ultimate aim is for a sustained integrated process of development toward the achievement of positive goals.

So,

The virtuous cycle has roots in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition,

But without religious or metaphysical aspects,

The Vipassana insight tradition,

And the integral approach to human development.

This virtuous cycle method has three primary elements.

The first is what I call on-the-cushion work.

The second is work off the cushion and into the world.

And the third is checking our progress work.

On-the-cushion work is our formal practice.

It involves the meditative practices we engage in on the cushion or chair or mat to train and develop our minds and our hearts.

Work off the cushion and into the world is a sort of applied mindfulness.

This is the heart of our practice,

Where we bring our inner values into our everyday lives.

It's where the rubber meets the road,

So to speak,

And it's also where I see the biggest disconnect or slippage between the formal practice and its implementation.

It involves using mindfulness to bring to bear the formal practice to the day-to-day occurrences so that we can disrupt responding in habituated ways that are harmful,

And instead,

Intentionally respond in ways that align with the inner values we identified and cultivated in our formal practice on the cushion.

The process of checking our progress is a practice that helps us stay connected with our intention to move from unskillful ways of acting in the world to more skillful ways.

It's an activity that we perform at the end of each day.

It involves reviewing our actions that day as they relate to the subject we're working on,

Rejoicing in the actions that move us toward our new way of being,

Regretting harmful or unskillful actions,

Taking remedial action,

And finally,

Sincerely resolving to do better.

This is just a preview of the virtuous cycle.

In the next session,

I'll explain in greater detail each element.

So,

As we conclude,

And before we leave,

Let's take a few moments to reflect on this talk.

I encourage you to stay for this part as learning how to reflect is an integral aspect of my talks in the virtuous cycle framework.

So,

Once again,

Find a good posture and now take a few deep cleansing breaths,

Scanning the body,

Release areas of tension,

And allow relaxation to enter.

Allow a gentle rhythm of inhales and exhales to develop in your breathing.

Place your awareness in a gentle and relaxed way on the breath moving in and out of the body,

At the chest or at the belly.

Continue to let this stillness gently arise in the mind and in the body by continuing the gentle awareness of the rhythmic breathing of your breath,

Just gently watching as the breath moves in and out of the body.

And now let's turn our attention to today's talk.

What was it that drew you to this talk today?

What were your expectations or hopes?

I propose that for many of us,

Our current way of engaging with our contemplative practice is like leaving valuable treasure on the side of the road.

We're missing out on bringing precious treasure into our lives.

How does this proposition sit with you?

Is leading a more ethical life an aim to which we should even aspire?

Do you see any validity in the idea that our mindfulness practice or yoga practice can be more fully integrated into our daily lives to better manifest our inner values,

Our ethics?

And finally,

What other conclusions do you draw from today's talk?

And now completely let go of this reflection and allow once again stillness to enter.

The effort that we've undertaken today to develop ourselves,

To develop our minds and our hearts,

This effort is not only for our own benefit,

But also for the benefit of others.

When we develop our minds in more wholesome directions,

More beneficial actions follow.

We can approach ourselves and others with less anxiety,

Fear or ill will,

And this reverberates throughout our communities.

So we dedicate this effort,

This positive energy that we create to all beings,

Including ourselves,

So that we all may be free from suffering,

So that we all may experience true happiness,

And so that we all may experience true peace.

May it be so.

Namaste.