Loving Kindness Practice (Metta Bhavana)

Welcome to this practice of kindness,

Of compassion.

Metta is a word that means goodwill or loving kindness.

And it involves an active or invested interest in the well-being of others.

So it's a kindness that is not detached or indifferent,

But is very active and engaged.

Bhavana is a word that means to cultivate.

And this word involves really replacing attitudes of ill will or animosity or frustration with their opposite.

Attitudes of kindness,

Acceptance,

Goodwill.

So quite simply,

The practice of metta bhavana means to cultivate loving kindness.

And that's exactly what we'll do in this practice today.

So to begin,

I invite you to find a comfortable position,

Making sure that you feel supported and at ease.

Allow your shoulders to soften and bring some attention and awareness to the area within and around your heart.

You might even gently rest your hands right on top of your chest and allow the warmth,

That tender sensation of your own touch.

Just bring an increased amount of awareness to that area.

Feel the inflow and the outflow of your breath.

And you might even begin to nourish yourself by deepening your breath just a little bit.

In the tradition of this practice of cultivating loving kindness,

We always begin with ourselves.

So we know that it's really not possible to offer kindness or acceptance to others if we feel a rejection of self.

Mahatma Gandhi says,

You yourself,

As much as anybody in the entire universe,

Deserve your love and affection.

So we lay our foundation by offering these phrases of kindness to ourselves.

And you can feel free to repeat these phrases after me in your mind.

Or simply listen to the phrases with the intention of applying them directly to yourself,

To your heart.

So we begin with the phrase,

May I be happy.

And may I be at peace.

May I be free from suffering.

And may I offer kindness to myself.

So you feel those phrases and just notice how,

How you respond.

It might feel really wonderful or it might feel a little bit odd to offer yourself such generous compassion.

There's no wrong response.

But it's wonderful to just pause and notice.

So we'll offer them again.

May I be happy.

May I be at peace.

May I be free from suffering.

May I offer kindness to myself.

Now that we've offered this kindness to ourselves,

The next step in the practice is to turn our awareness to a loved one.

Traditionally,

This person is referred to as a benefactor.

So here I invite you to imagine in your mind's eye,

A beloved teacher or friend.

Someone who has offered you or maybe even taught you about unconditional compassion and kindness.

Someone with whom you feel safe and fully accepted.

And then you offer this loved one the phrases.

Maybe happy.

Maybe at peace.

Maybe be free from suffering.

May they offer kindness to themselves.

Really tune in to the experience you have of this person.

Perhaps the way they smell.

Or a special memory of time that you've spent with them.

Marcel Prowse says,

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy.

They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

One more time I invite you to picture and offer the phrases of kindness to that beloved benefactor.

May they be happy.

May they be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

And maybe offer kindness to themselves.

You might feel a warmth or a sense of inspiration just from connecting with that loved one.

And come back to that.

Stay connected to that throughout the rest of this practice.

The next person that we offer metta to is a neutral person.

So for this part,

Bring to your awareness someone for whom you don't really have any strong feelings in any direction.

Sometimes it's hard to think of someone right away.

That we don't really have any opinion of whatsoever.

But this can be a really simple connection in your life.

Maybe it's your mail delivery person or someone that you see while you're walking your dog but you've never actually had a conversation with them.

The person that works at the coffee shop.

So even though you don't know that or know this person,

They also have a desire to be happy.

To experience kindness.

And it's possible to develop and to cultivate feelings of kindness towards this person even though you don't know them.

The poet Rumi says,

Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love which linger and continue to uplift others long after you're sharing.

So bring that neutral being to your awareness and offer them these phrases.

May they be happy.

May they be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

And may they offer kindness to themselves.

May they be happy.

May they be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

And may they offer kindness to themselves.

In the next portion of the practice,

We bring to our awareness,

A person with whom we've had difficulty.

So this might be someone that you don't agree with on certain topics,

Or someone who's hurt your feelings,

Giving you some form of wounding in the past.

And it might seem difficult to imagine offering these phrases to someone that we've regarded as a difficult person.

But this is a really important part of this practice.

Because this person who's frustrated us or hurt us in the past already now stands between our capacity to love with conditions and to love unconditionally.

As Karen Salzberg says,

Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart,

To be truly loving and compassionate means that we need to be passive,

To allow others to abuse us,

To smile and let anyone do what they want with us.

Yet this is not what is meant by compassion.

To the contrary,

Compassion is not at all weak.

It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world.

Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering,

Whether it is in ourselves or others,

Without fear.

It allows us to name injustice without hesitation,

And to act strongly with all the skill at our disposal.

To develop this mind state of compassion is to learn to live,

As the Buddha put it,

With sympathy for all living beings without exception.

Mother Teresa said,

If we really want to love,

We must learn how to forgive.

So we offer these phrases to that difficult person.

May they be happy.

May they be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

May they offer kindness to themselves.

Once again,

May they be happy.

May they be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

May they offer kindness to themselves.

By now this force of kindness and compassion has really started to grow.

Sort of the practice has a snowball effect.

Generates momentum as we go.

You can expand your attention and your awareness to include perhaps everyone's right here in your household.

And then allow your awareness,

Sort of like an energetic bubble to envelop your whole community,

Your city or town.

See if you can expand your awareness,

Your kindness,

Your unconditional compassion to include your whole country.

And then moving beyond those imaginary borders.

Allow your kind attention to envelop the whole earth.

All living beings.

Allow this kindness to take on a universal quality.

You might picture someone who's really similar to you.

And then imagine someone who lives a very different life,

A totally different existence.

In another part of the world.

You can picture someone who's falling in love.

And then picture who someone who's crying,

Someone who's experiencing grief.

Finding your awareness,

Someone who's experiencing the emotion of joy.

And also someone who's suffering.

And stay in touch with that force of kindness in your heart.

Recognize it as stronger and brighter.

Continue to breathe.

Continue to hold all beings in the light of your awareness.

And offer these phrases to all beings.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be at peace.

May all beings be free from suffering.

And may they offer kindness to themselves.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be at peace.

May they be free from suffering.

May they offer kindness to themselves.

Mindfulness teacher Jack Kornfield says,

Love creates a communion with life.

Love expands us.

Connects us.

Sweetens us.

Ennobles us.

Love springs up in tender concern.

Its blossoms into caring action.

It makes beauty out of all we touch.

In any moment,

We can step beyond our small self and embrace each other as beloved parts of the whole.

Allow your kindness,

That unconditional compassion that you've cultivated to stay just that big and just that broad.

But start to bring your immediate attention back to your physical body.

Perhaps your hands are still resting on your heart.

Sense it's beating.

Sense your breath again flowing in and traveling back out.

You might begin to just add a little tiny bit of gentle movement.

Coming back slowly and bringing this kindness.

This kind of compassion with you into the rest of your day or into your evening,

Not losing touch with that light of awareness that you've cultivated.

Thank you for practicing with me.

Thank you for creating further,

Deeper ripples of kindness in this world that so desperately needs.

This active compassion practice.

The kindness and light in me sees and honors the kindness and light in you.

Namaste.