Good morning,
Good afternoon,
Good evening I'm going to do Christmas I don't know what's wrong with the camera on this but this is Gaynor's MacBook I'm not quite sure how it works,
So welcome I'm going to read a little something Too Deep for Words Naomi noticed it late one afternoon not during meditation or self-enquiry but while standing at the sink,
Hands in warm water,
Rinsing a mug nothing special was happening,
And yet something was there was a thickness to the moment a depth that didn't announce itself,
Didn't sparkle didn't ask for recognition,
Just a quiet,
Layered fulfilment that felt far too intricate to be named then,
Thoughts immediately rushed in ooh,
This is presence,
This is awareness,
This is it each thought landed like a hand trying to grab smoke she could feel the mind scrambling,
Simplifying flattening it out,
Trying to turn what was unfolding into something it could own,
Describe and repeat it felt almost panicked,
Like a translator confronted with a language it didn't have words for but something different was happening now the thoughts were still there,
But they weren't being believed they thrashed about at the edges,
Offering labels,
Metaphors,
Conclusions,
Reasons yet the experiencing itself,
This rich,
Wordless living movement continued untouched she realised then,
This wasn't an experience she was having it was experiencing happening,
Not a thing,
Not a state,
A verb water running,
Breath moving,
Subtle shifts in sensation a vast,
Quiet intelligence,
Too detailed,
Too fluid too alive for thought to keep up with thoughts tried again,
Don't lose this,
You must remember this this really means something,
But there was no need to push them away they were harmless now,
Like children running alongside a train that wasn't happening for them that wasn't stopping for them the experience didn't depend on clarity of silence or understanding it didn't even depend on her noticing it and this is what we want to be noticing how thought is forever trying to label trying to describe,
Trying to make sense of something see our experience is just a flow of experiencing,
That's what it is a flow of experiencing and mind tries to take photo shots of it,
Because it can't cope with it it's too big for it,
It's too fluid,
It's too rich and because our attention is in mind,
The photo shots of it we miss the whole thing,
We miss the wonder,
The joy because that's where the peace is,
In that flow of life rather than our little photo shots and our worries so you're sitting here quietly,
Or you might be just walking in the high street wherever,
Or sitting in a waiting room in a checkout queue and you've had a worry about your health or finances and then there's the emotion stay with that emotion,
Just feel that emotion you don't even need to label it,
That's doing too much you can do to begin with,
But just feel that there was something here this morning when I was sitting quietly then there's an arising but it lost it's power because I left it alone all I did was feel it,
No story there's no story,
There was to begin with,
That's why it was there but it came out the story and you find that the space around this something that's unaffected but we get so caught up with the blah blah blah get out of there,
Don't stay there,
Get out of the mind it's scrambling to do something it's desperate to keep doing,
Labelling,
Making sense of,
Reasoning and it just goes on forever,
It never ends don't play the game there's a fork in the road,
There's the same or there's freedom you need to choose freedom,
Which means just being here allowing it all to happen,
Keep out of the story resting that sense of presence in the body and it's taken care of it's grace at some point all begins to open up but as long as you're mixed up with doing,
Doing,
Doing you won't find it,
That's the old path that's the old fork in the road and it's convincing so let us sit quietly resting in that sense of presence as in the reading mind will want to commentate and narrate about what's been experienced and what's not being experienced,
It's not fussing just feel what's here rest in this sense of presence which includes the body and you notice being lost in thought it'll be a contraction and or an emotion depending on the content just feel that it's all you have to do and relax there's nothing for you to do,
To accomplish you have to relax stay alert where are you now?
Ego mind will send you invitations it wants your attention doesn't like being ignored like a spoiled child what's happening?
Checking that you're not tensed up just take a breath and relax into the body where's your attention?
Okay thank you very much and have a good day and we'll see you tomorrow bye bye
