I am your host Titus Glenn,
Singer,
Songwriter and minister of spiritual consciousness and training.
Now y'all this is the podcast for those who want to reconnect their faith outside of the church and step into their authentic self.
Now today's show guys we're going to talk about grief.
Grief when it comes to your religious trauma or the things that you have had to walk away from in a spiritual or religious way.
So let's get into it.
Find yourself,
Be yourself and let others do the same.
Find yourself,
Be yourself and let others do the same.
Find yourself,
Be yourself Now when we look at grief,
There are five stages of grief.
And these stages,
Although most of the time when you look at them,
They are connected to losing someone by way of death.
But I believe that these stages also apply to those that have lost their way when it comes to connecting to God or they are in a space of removing themselves from religious organizations that no longer serve them.
And in that space of grief,
It to me is the same because you're losing something,
Something that was of value to you.
So in these five stages,
The first stage is denial.
Now,
Denial is often experienced as the first stage.
And it comes from being unable to fully process everything that's happening and manifest as attempting to avoid the things that create conflict.
So for me,
This denial would be not going to church or being in the assembly of the others that believe that old way.
It would also be not wanting to have conversation around scripture or feeling a certain way when people bring up scripture,
That you have a new way of looking at it.
And so you just avoid talking about those things altogether,
Because honestly,
You're still trying to figure out what you believe.
Let me just say that in this stage,
I was still trying to figure out what I believe.
And maybe my story,
As I say,
You can find yourself in that's in my story.
The second stage of grief is anger.
And this is when you are just angry,
Maybe angry about how you came into the knowledge of what disrupted your way of thinking,
Way of being.
Anger can also show up as frustration or anxiety or worry or being impatient.
These are looks of anger.
And I can identify with this because when you are unlearning things,
When I was unlearning things,
And at times still unlearning some things,
I get frustrated trying to figure out what's true,
What I believe,
What I'm not going to believe.
And then there's a level of anxiety that comes into that space.
Because in Christendom or in some belief systems,
I say Christianity,
Because that's what I grew up in.
There's a level of perfectionalism that I'm still at times working around.
And I would say that is that anger showing because I get anxious that I hadn't figured it out or because I have so many questions,
It's leaving me at a place of being impatient with the entire process.
The third stage is bargaining.
This stage can be seen as searching for meaning in the events that you're dealing with while attempting to explain how things could have turned out differently.
So for me,
This could be me looking at how I was born and raised and then trying to see why I'm just now getting this information.
Like why,
Why didn't I know this information sooner?
And so really trying to pinpoint for me where I should have noticed or where these things should have been obvious.
That for me is bargaining.
When you're bargaining,
Going through your transition from a different relationship with your religion,
Some people walk away,
Some people still want to be in it,
But they're processing maybe some things that they are learning.
Number four is depression.
Depression,
Loss and grief often becomes depression,
Sadness and loneliness,
Especially when dealing with unraveling what you believe.
Now,
I'm just going to say this,
Guys,
What I am talking about here,
I am getting from a website,
Thevalleylawgroup.
Com,
Which just talks about the stages of grief,
And I'm just relating,
Relaying this to religious trauma and ideas and concepts,
Because again,
It is a loss and a transition from one phase of your life into another phase of your life.
And with this type of transition,
I did experience a level of depression because I felt alone.
I felt isolated because I didn't see or feel like I could talk to anybody about what I was experiencing.
And it left me at a place of who do I talk to or feel like who do I talk to or not saying anything at all.
And again,
I think that to me,
Took me back to the time when I was in depression.
It took me back to a place of anger and frustration in that depression,
Because you're learning something new.
But the people that you will want to share with,
They have not come in.
They have not come to this awareness with you,
Which makes you feel isolated and alone.
And again,
Those things can lead to depression.
Now,
Let's get into this last stage,
Stage number five,
Which is acceptance.
Acceptance is the end goal of grief.
And it comes when you fully process the emotional loss you've suffered.
So for me,
Once I realized that that practice of religion that I was in served this purpose,
I believe that's when I started to accept my journey into this spiritual walk.
And sometimes that acceptance doesn't come all at once.
And the entire grieving process itself often isn't as clear as pouring your glass of water.
And it means that you might have good days and you might have bad days,
But the overall goal is to find peace within yourself of the transition that you're going through as you are navigating how you feel about the religion you're in and really grounding yourself to be okay and move forward so you can live life.
So guys,
That's the stages of grief.
I hope that helps you wherever you are.
I will say this,
That whatever stage you are on in your grief process in removing yourself from a religion or trying to figure out how you're going to navigate in that space of staying there.
I will say,
Seek help,
Seek counsel,
Talk to someone.
So we will talk to you guys later.
Do the same.
And let others do the same.
