I recently went through a situation that was terrifying and it really made me consider and reflect on the power of fear and how controlling it can be in our lives.
In this particular situation the lives of my very precious pets were put at risk.
The situation carried on for a few weeks and for those few weeks I was pervaded with a deep sense of fear.
We often hear about fight,
Flight or freeze mode.
In this particular situation I noticed that my whole body was tense and frozen,
But not frozen with how we normally might experience it,
But more of a bracing,
Bracing ready to fight or flight to keep my pets and myself safe.
I also became vividly aware of how necessary fear can be as well,
As uncomfortable as it is,
How it is actually or can be a very beneficial instinct to keep us safe.
So the intentions of this reaction are good,
But as we know it's not very nice to experience.
It can be exhausting on our whole nervous system,
Especially if we have it going on for prolonged periods,
It can be very unhealthy to our sense of well-being.
In acute situations it's easier to see how it's a necessary response to what is happening in front or around us,
But if it's an ongoing reality in our life,
Like anxiety,
This really isn't helpful.
So what do we do with fear then?
How do we live with it if it's something that's there with us every day in our body?
For me there's a few things that help me to live with it in a more healthy way.
One of those is having a moment to pause,
Because we can very easily and quickly get caught up in the turbulence of it all.
So having a moment to pause,
Whether that's just three deep breaths or half an hour of meditation,
It can help to free us a little bit from getting completely entangled with and overwhelmed by the situation.
Noticing sensations of the fear in the body and separating them out from stories I find really awakening.
So noticing the sensations of fear in your body,
But just the raw or the bare sensations without the stories of it.
Giving them space to be there and allowing them to be there in the body and having compassion for whatever's there.
This can help to ease the inner conflict that's going on on top of the fear.
Being grounded is really helpful.
So whether you can do this through meditation or whether it's walking outside on the grass with bare feet or spending some time in nature,
This can help us to be in a more resourceful state to help us process and deal with what's going on with a more open perspective.
Remembering that nothing in life is fixed and solid is also really helpful.
So no matter what the situation is,
No matter how much pain you're in,
No matter how much fear you feel,
No matter how stuck you feel,
It is always changing moment to moment.
Of course,
If you have constant anxiety from an unknown source,
It is really beneficial to work with a coach or a therapist to gently uncover what's beneath that.
When something is unconscious,
It doesn't mean that because we don't know it's there,
It's not affecting us.
Actually,
When something is unconscious,
It can affect us in a very powerful way.
So by bringing something into consciousness,
We can allow it to heal and it starts to lose its power over us.
So these are a few things that really support me in times where I notice fear is quite strong or even just lurking there.
It's important that we stay gentle with ourselves and kind to ourselves to allow the energy of that fear to move through and unfold in a way that it needs to.
It can be a long journey of deep self-exploration,
But every step along the way,
Every corner that is turned,
Can help us to live a free and more fulfilling life.
