Mindfulness Workshop: Power Of Awareness

This session is about the power of awareness,

And that's what mindfulness is all about,

Right?

It's about being mindful,

Being present,

And just being aware of our thoughts and emotions and sensations and feelings in a non-judgmental way.

That's the key,

Right?

In a very loving way,

Because as we know through the ages,

We have transpired to become quite powerful as a human species,

And at a little bit of a cost,

At a cost,

Right?

We see the cost in the depression,

Numbers of depression cases.

We see that in isolation,

People are isolated.

So we know that that occurs,

And why?

Well,

We used to be so involved with nature,

Right?

We came from hunters and gatherers from the Paleolithic stage,

Right?

And then we moved on to the agrarian stage,

And we were so in touch with nature.

We were really aware of the cycles out there,

Right?

Of the moon cycles and the planetary cycles and the plants and the animals,

And there were rituals,

Right?

People didn't like killing animals,

So there was a whole ritual going on,

The shamans to be able to be okay with that.

And so what happens- I'm just gonna close the door.

Oh,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Wow,

Much better.

We've had about five sessions before today,

And we've always said,

Next time we're going to close the door.

So thank you.

We never did.

That reminds me when,

You know,

Growing up,

I have two boys in their twenties,

But I remember one would tap,

You know,

The table,

Annoyingly,

Right?

And then the other one,

Stop it.

And then I would go,

Not to the one who's tapping,

To the other one who said,

Stop it.

I would say,

Focus your mind.

So it's interesting that I,

You know,

Even before I really started reading a lot about mindfulness,

For some reason I thought that it was up to us to take control or to be,

You know,

Lovingly relating to our emotions.

Anyway,

So going back to the power of awareness.

So what's been happening over the years is we've become disconnected,

Right?

Somewhat to our cycle,

The cycles out there and the cycles within ourselves,

Right?

And our bodies,

Our stress levels,

Sometimes we're disconnected and there are many different reasons,

Right?

You might want to think to yourselves,

Why might we be disconnected?

Some of the reasons are because it's too scary sometimes to go into the body because we might have had a traumatic experience or we might have been relating to people in different ways because that's how we defended ourselves and our family.

Maybe we're very acquiescent like myself,

You know,

Because that's how I survived.

And maybe now a days,

It's not so helpful for me to be acquiescent because then I end up not doing what I really need to do.

At the same time,

In the realm of mindfulness and awareness and the power of awareness,

I don't want to be judgmental,

Right?

Towards that part of myself that's been acquiescent all these years and say,

Look at you,

You're acquiescent again and now you have a cramp because you didn't sleep well because you went and did all these things and you're always doing these things for other people and how helpful is that?

So mindfulness,

Right?

It is about saying,

Oh,

Look,

I didn't pay attention to whether I'm tired or whether I need to sleep and I went and did all these things and,

You know,

That's okay.

Thank you part of myself that you helped me through the years to survive in the familial environment and now let's look at repurposing,

You know,

Some of your acquiescence.

Let's make it into something that will help you now,

Right?

So we have these conversations with ourselves and then what happens is a really deep part is that we shove things down,

Right?

So sometimes we don't notice what's going on in the inside.

So just think of a magnet under a white piece of paper and iron filings on top of the paper and as we move the magnet,

The iron filings move and that's kind of how we're living,

Right?

A lot of us,

We are living in relation to the iron filings at the top,

But what's really guiding those feelings of anxiety or anger or not being happy is that magnet underneath,

That magnet that has to do with usually feelings of longing or feeling fearful,

Maybe,

You know,

Got exams or assignments or we're afraid to be present in life because maybe we're going to get hurt somehow.

So these very deep feelings are these magnets and so the idea of mindfulness and the power of awareness is to be aware in a loving way,

Right?

Of how we act,

What's going on and what's really underneath our actions.

Are they serving us,

All our actions and our behaviors and our feelings and our thoughts?

Has anybody seen that movie,

The Black Swan?

Natalie Portman played this ballerina who is going to be auditioning for the show with Tchaikovsky,

You know,

Swan Lake composer from the early 1900s.

And so she tries for the part and she has a very controlling mother who wants her to be this amazing ballerina and she makes the part for the white swan,

Right?

It's this perfect,

Beautiful movement,

Very good.

And then she doesn't get the part for the black swan,

You see,

She wanted to play both.

The black swan's gonna play this very demonstrative role,

You know,

The magnet underneath.

What's really going on,

The fear,

The anger,

All those emotions sometimes that we don't want to access.

And she didn't get the part.

So the producer,

You know,

The person casting told her she didn't get the part.

And he then,

So she went to his office after and he tried to make a move on her and she bit his neck.

And so the next day he called her and said,

You have the part,

You have the black swan part.

Because she demonstrated that frustration,

That anger,

You see,

Before she hadn't,

So repressed.

It's there,

She's frustrated,

She's angry.

She didn't get the part,

Right?

And she demonstrated,

It's okay.

So,

But then they rehearse,

Rehearse,

Rehearse and she's not getting into the role.

She's so repressed.

She's so repressed,

Right?

So we're talking about the iron filings.

She lives among the,

As if she's the iron filings,

Not paying attention to what's really going on underneath.

So somebody else gets cast the role and there's this really rebel person and she just walks around,

Goes to bars every night.

You know,

Natalie Portman doesn't do that at all.

But then slowly she starts,

Natalie Portman starts getting access to the fear and the anger underneath.

And she joins in with this other character and they go to bars and everything.

She's having a real hard time.

So on one level,

Like the power of awareness,

Mindfulness,

She's getting,

Becoming aware of the repressed part of herself.

On another level,

She's not being kind to that part of herself.

Because what happens in the,

It's a movie,

Right?

She's about to play the role.

So then she gets both,

She ends up playing both the white swan and the black swan in the end because she's shown that she can bring out the repressed parts.

So in the movie,

She breaks the mirror just before the show.

And,

But the enactment is that the other person who was supposed to play the black swan comes in,

Breaks the mirror and stabs Natalie Portman in the stomach.

So I was like,

Okay,

If we can't watch that,

Like I've read about it.

So I know it's like reading a book,

You can do that.

So then what happens is,

You know,

She performs this beautiful production.

So she,

All that repression comes out in the real thing.

But at the end,

She,

The character,

The black swan is supposed to lie down and Natalie Portman is lying down.

She's not getting up.

She's not getting up because she stabbed herself.

So in the movie,

You think it's the other person who came and stabbed her.

But in reality,

It's in her imagination that the other person stabbed her.

She stabbed herself.

She broke the mirror,

Stabbed herself.

Cause she does,

She hates that part of herself,

That part that really shows the fear and the,

You know,

The excitement,

All of that.

So it's very sad.

So that's why I couldn't watch it.

But anyway,

The point being,

I wanted to illustrate this because it's so important,

Right?

That we are aware of our emotions and that we are very kind and very loving towards those emotions.

And it could take a lot of times.

It could take a lot of rounds of accessing those feelings.

And sometimes if they are,

As I mentioned,

Very unpleasant experiences,

We don't want to be accessing them too much,

Too fast,

Too soon,

Because we could re-traumatize any emotions or feelings that would have occurred.

So we want to be slow and we want to be very gentle.

And if we,

At any point,

Even today,

If we're doing a meditation on mindfulness,

You feel discomfort,

Feel free to stand up,

Walk around,

Open your eyes,

Look around,

Pick three objects,

Chair,

Table,

Floor.

I'm here,

I'm safe,

I'm being supported,

I'm okay.

I'm not recreating whatever scene that might've triggered anything.

So just so you know,

Make sure you do that,

Okay?

Okay,

So can we go around now and maybe,

I said acquiescent.

Can we maybe just close our eyes briefly and just think what is my tendency to repress?

What is it that I,

Not so much repress,

But how is the manifestation of the repression,

Right?

So I'm repressing what?

Probably fear,

I fear that people will not accept me.

So I am acquiescent,

I go along,

Because I don't want them to leave me.

I don't want them to be angry with me,

So fear.

So I'm repressing fear,

But it comes across as acquiescent.

Yeah,

Just have a,

Close your eyes if you'd like and take some breaths.

Do your nose,

Make sure your back is straight,

Yeah,

Relaxed,

Alert.

And just think about,

Yeah,

What,

On a day-to-day today or yesterday,

Last week,

In what way did you go about your day or your night whereby you behaved in a particular way or said a particular thing to yourself or to someone else?

And that maybe wasn't exactly what you wanted,

And there was something underneath that you're maybe not wanting to access.

When you're ready,

You can come back to the room.

Anybody want to share?

I would,

Yeah,

Sometimes we have,

As I mentioned,

We used to have rituals,

Right?

As a society,

As a human society,

We had rituals before killing animals,

Planting,

All related to the cycles of the sun and the moon and the animals and the seasons.

And I think that's something that I wonder if we're lacking now.

We're so ritualistic in a way,

Really,

Right?

We get up in the morning,

We go to sleep,

We have meals,

Rituals.

And I think sometimes,

Yeah,

To avoid our feelings that are hurtful and scary,

We might eat,

We might yell,

We might do different things,

And yet we're looking for a ritual.

And what is that ritual?

And I know that I have this book.

I brought a whole bunch of books to show you.

They inspire me.

But it's this book that I read a long time ago.

I'll look at the name here.

Addiction to Perfection.

And in this book,

Has anybody read this book or heard about it?

It's by Marianne Woodman.

Yeah,

Yeah.

So it,

As you know,

It talks,

It really emphasizes the idea of the ritual,

How a lot of the analysants who are,

I'm Marianne Woodman,

Psychologist,

And she,

A Nubian psychologist.

And she was talking about a lot of her analysands,

They were either under eating,

So anorexia or overeating,

A lot of her clients.

And so what she got them to do,

Not to say that,

You know,

But just talk about that idea of the ritual.

She got her analysands to come home,

You know,

The ones who maybe wanted to eat a lot.

It's like,

It's a ritual,

Like you're engaging in this ritual to get away from those emotions.

So put music on,

Dance,

You know,

Dance for two minutes.

That can become your ritual.

You come home,

You can still go and eat if you want,

You know,

But then dance first.

So we're then getting into our rhythm again,

Right?

Like,

I think we're missing,

It seems like we're missing that in some ways,

Yeah.

So what I'd like us to do now is to really dive into it a little bit,

Okay?

So whatever it is,

You could think of a situation that occurred today or yesterday or in the week or a pattern,

A pattern that you observe.

I think you all talked about patterns.

And then we're gonna try out this mindfulness,

Okay,

For real.

I just gave you a little taste of that,

Okay?

All it means,

We just do kind of that breathing again.

Within,

We're just gonna use an acronym that Tara Brach,

Who's heard of Tara Brach?

There's another psychologist.

So anyway,

She's,

Actually,

She didn't coin the term.

Michelle McDonald did,

Who lives in Hawaii.

Everybody who lives in Hawaii,

They say Hawaii.

It's like,

There must be something about what it means.

It sounds really,

I love it.

Anyway,

So Michelle McDonald coined the term,

But then Tara Brach uses it a lot.

She wrote a whole book on it,

But it's,

And some of you,

I know,

Experienced that before.

So R means recognize.

So recognize what we talked about,

The eye and filings,

What's going on.

A is to allow.

It's okay to allow.

You know,

It's okay,

It's okay.

It's okay to be anxious.

You know,

Just really accept those feelings.

It's okay that I'm acquiescent.

You know,

It's kind of hard to do.

But allow,

Accepting,

RA,

Right?

Then we're going,

That's gonna be pretty deep.

We're gonna get into that.

Then we're gonna take a little break.

We're gonna do body movement.

For me,

I love body movement because I can bring in the breath and I can bring in the parasympathetic system,

Right?

To tell my nervous system that it's okay,

I'm safe.

I can rest and digest.

I don't have to fight or flight.

Fight would be the yelling,

Right?

Or flight would be,

I'm gonna hide because I don't want to be rejected,

Right?

So we're gonna do some body movement to empower ourselves based on this Qigong,

Who has heard of Qigong?

I know some of you,

Yeah,

Okay.

So it's really,

My prediction is that,

You know how yoga is so popular now?

My prediction is a few years time,

It'll be Qigong.

Qigong is older than yoga,

Yeah?

Qigong is 5,

000 years,

4,

000 years old.

I have another book on this as well.

And yoga is a branch of Qigong and so is Tai Chi.

It really helps,

Again,

With the cycles,

Calming our nervous system.

So we're gonna do that.

And then we're gonna go and do the I and N of RAIN.

When we come back,

We're gonna get into this meditative state.

And the I is investigate.

We're gonna see how it feels in the body,

The sensations.

Not,

Oh,

This is what happened to me in childhood.

That is what,

No,

No.

Just how does it feel in the body when I'm acquiescing,

When we yell,

Or when I'm anxious?

You know,

Those sensations.

I know we did this a little bit,

But today the topic is the power of awareness.

And the N,

We're going to nurture.

We're gonna ask that part of our bodies,

What do you need?

You know,

I'm going through menopause right now.

It's like,

I don't recommend it.

I have these sensations in the body that are totally foreign and I just,

I don't even know how to explain.

And the nurturing is for me to be able to go to that sensation,

The tingling,

Whatever it is,

And go,

It's okay.

What do you need?

And I actually started to do that.

And in my therapy session,

We came up with actually an imagery because,

You know,

I said,

I have this sensation in my body.

I can't do anything.

I'm just,

It's horrible.

And she said,

She got me to do exactly what we're doing here.

We're doing a mini version here.

We're going to investigate,

You know,

And nurture that part,

That sensation in the body.

So I have this tingling sensation.

And I,

My imagery was,

I said,

She said,

What are you?

What is that,

What does that sensations evoke for you?

And for some people it could be colors,

Places.

It can be anything.

It could be sound bites,

Right?

What does the sensations translate for?

So for me,

I said,

I'm in a forest,

A deep forest and it's dark and it's mossy.

And then,

You know,

With the nurturing,

She said,

Well,

What does that part need from you?

And it could be that I needed,

You know,

She said,

Can you lie down?

It's safe to lie down on this moss.

You know,

Sometimes when I'm like this,

I have my adult self lying down with my inner,

My child self and nurturing.

Sometimes I'm surrounded by people who I know really love me.

They might be alive or not in a forest because I love forest clearly.

And then they are giving me all this love,

Right?

So whatever it is that we need,

That part needs from us,

We nurture.

So the idea of nurturing what's deep down,

Because that's very vulnerable,

Right?

That fear,

The non-belonging.

And we ask that part of ourselves,

Which translates in body sensations.

And we just want to listen to them,

But we want,

We're so afraid to listen.

That's why we do the iron filings.

Okay.

Everybody ready for this?

Yeah?

Okay.

So we'll start.

Close your eyes.

Lower your gaze.

Your hands can be on your lap.

On your knees.

Very relaxed.

The back can be erect,

But not too tight.

Relaxed.

Your feet on the ground.

And be aware of the sounds in the room and your breath.

Going up and out of your nostrils.

Notice how the air coming in is a little bit warmer than the air.

Or the other way around,

I guess.

The air coming in is a little bit cooler than the air coming in.

And be in tune with your breath.

And as you're ready,

Count one to five for the breath coming in and one to five for the breath coming out.

And notice that you may want that count to be a little shorter.

Maybe four counts.

Or longer.

Six counts.

Or longer.

The idea is to send a message to your body that we're safe and relaxed.

And as you are in this state,

You might notice that you have a few thoughts,

A few feelings.

And they're all okay.

They're all normal.

Let them come,

Let them go.

As if they're coming into the room through an open door and coming out of the room through another open door.

You can come and go.

And we can always bring ourselves gently to our breath.

And as we are relaxed,

We tap into a time today or yesterday.

Recall a pattern that is maybe not so comfortable,

That wasn't so comfortable,

That's usually not so comfortable.

Maybe one that you mentioned a little bit earlier.

Or a specific one.

Not anything too much,

Not anything too traumatic.

Just a little bit annoying,

Unpleasant.

And recall the circumstances or pick one,

One of them,

An example of what happened.

Recently.

Really go to that scene.

Was it night?

Was it day?

Was there anyone else there?

Were any words spoken?

Any smells?

Any sounds?

Any colors?

Recognize what the behavior was.

Were you speaking in a loud voice or were you saying something you didn't want to say?

Or were you consuming something you didn't really want to consume,

Shop?

So just recognize that behavior.

And that's the R for the RAIN and move on to the A for allow or accept.

And we just accept,

Accept that and allow it to be.

Allow it to be.

Maybe if you were shouting or yelling,

Stay with it,

Allow it.

Is it in the city,

In the province,

In the whole country?

Where is that?

Where is that?

Where is that?

Where is that?

Where is that?

Country,

Where is that yelling coming from?

Is it rage?

Is it annoyance?

Let it be as big as it wants to be.

Allow it,

Allow it to be.

And together with that,

As we talked earlier,

What is the magnet?

Try to figure out what that magnet,

Recognize what the magnet is beneath the iron filing.

Is it fear?

Being out of control?

Is it rage,

Anger?

Is it fear of non-belonging or being abandoned,

Not accepted?

We're doing something wrong,

Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

And let it be with that,

Allow it to be.

Always knowing that this is safe,

Come back to your breath at any time.

Five counts or four counts,

Six counts.

That's your anchor.

Not trying to fix anything,

Just allowing it to be.

It's okay.

Probably behave that way because it served us well before.

We can thank that part of ourselves for helping us.

And as we thank that part,

Allow it to be.

There had to be a reason for it being there to protect us,

Protect the subconscious.

It's all okay.

As we thank that part,

Keep with your anchor and let's come back to the room when you're ready.

Feel free to stretch and move your back or shoulders if you'd like.

And we're going to get up.

We're going to invoke our body.

Move your chair over.

Space around you.

And with Qigong,

As some of you know,

We always want to feel grounded.

So our feet on the ground,

About hip-width apart,

Our knees slightly bent,

Our hands can be just beside us.

And just know that we're humans between heaven and earth or ground and sky,

Just to really be aware of ourselves.

We tend to think of the place around the,

Just beneath the belly button,

Three inches beneath the belly button.

We put our hands there if you would like.

That's the center of gravity in our bodies.

It's our reproductive system and our center for creativity.

So if we can just be there and you could lower your gaze if you'd like,

Just take a few breaths there.

Again,

Recalling that acceptance to that behavior we just went through.

Two more breaths.

Really feeling grounded.

Okay.

And now we're going to bring our hands beside our body and we're going to evoke our heart,

Right?

Because our heart is core.

The word courage comes from Latin,

Core.

We're gonna evoke that loving,

Nurturing part.

So we're gonna bring our hands out with our fists and then bring our back,

Cover our back.

Okay?

So the idea is we're embracing that part of ourselves that tends to protect us.

And we're in a loving,

Nurturing way.

Can you feel,

I feel my heart really expanding.

And as you come up with your heart,

Look up.

What's a different perspective?

Yes,

Those behaviors happen.

And I don't have to be judgmental of behaviors.

I can be accepting with my heart,

My courage.

And I can think of a different way And I can think of a different way.

I'm very aware,

It's a part of awareness.

I can think of handling those emotions in a different way.

Okay.

So last one.

Okay.

And we're going to do one more last body exercise.

So again,

We're invoking our nervous system to go along with our nurturing part of ourselves.

And we're going to honor wood.

So wood now is spring.

And according to Qigong,

Where they observe the different seasons and then there are different body movements that relate to the different parts of the body.

So now the focus is the liver and the gallbladder which are located around,

Just beneath our diaphragm there.

And the gallbladder is just like a very small shape of a pear,

Kind of green.

And then we have the liver.

So we're going to bring our hands like we're holding a big beach ball in front of us.

And then we're going to turn around and go to the right of it.

And we're going to bring our arms up as if we're bringing the nutrients of the tree.

Okay.

Bring it up.

Okay.

Bring it up.

And then down.

Okay.

Holding the beach ball,

We turn left.

Bring the nutrients of the tree up.

Nourishing our body.

And down.

So again,

We're feeling grounded,

Right?

Cycles of life.

Oh,

Sorry.

Turn,

Bring up like a tree,

And then come down.

Front,

Left,

Bring arms up.

And we're nourishing ourselves.

Okay.

Last one.

To the right,

We bring our arms up,

Like the nutrients of the tree,

And arms down.

Okay.

And my back feels great.

All right.

So are we ready to move on to the next exercise?

Are you ready to get into the bodily sensations?

Okay.

This is the nurturing part,

The investigation of our body.

Remember,

We're not going backwards to childhood.

We're just going to see what the sensations are.

Is it tingling?

Is it,

You know,

Are your hands and fists,

Are your hands getting into fists?

So you want to kind of fight or are your feet kind of moving?

So you want to flee?

What's really going on?

Just,

Are you feeling tired?

You know,

Just get a sense of the body,

Being in the body,

Right?

Being,

Okay,

We're ready?

Okay.

Welcome to close your eyes or lower your gaze.

Back straight,

Not too straight,

Just relaxed.

You can bring your shoulders away from your head.

Relax.

Tap into the breath again,

The five counts or the four or the six.

Let's go back to that situation,

That behavior,

Those feelings associated with the behavior.

Maybe what we're trying to protect,

Is it,

Are we fearful?

Are we angry?

Are we feeling like we don't belong?

And as you're in touch with those feelings,

Where does it feel in the body?

Or is it just a sense of tiredness everywhere?

Is it a pounding sensation somewhere?

Cold or heat?

Wavy,

Tingling?

Maybe there's some pain somewhere.

Be very gentle,

Send a breath there.

We're investigating how it feels in the body.

And what is manifesting in the body?

Is there a color associated with it?

Whatever sensations that there are in the body,

They could be associated with an imagery.

They won't stay,

That's the nature of energy.

In physics,

Energy always transforms.

If you can be with it,

Find out what it is and be with it.

Because it will pass,

Like a wave in the ocean.

As you are with it,

Whether it's your entire body or whether you don't know,

It's okay if you don't know.

If you don't know,

Maybe there's a little numbness,

Not in touch,

That's okay too.

Whatever manifests is just fine.

Ask that part of yourself,

Whether it's nothing,

Numbness or tingling,

Ache,

Or whatever it is that you're in touch with in the body.

Heat,

Waving,

What does it need from you?

How can you nurture that part of yourself?

Is it your adult self embracing your child self?

Is it being with your pet or your pets?

Invoking one or two or three people or deities who you know you love and who admire you,

Who love you truly?

Maybe they're surrounding you,

Giving you love in your favorite place,

The beach,

Forest,

Or in your house.

The goal is to nurture that part and know that we can come back.

It can be many times,

Many rounds of this.

Nothing needs to be resolved.

There's nothing to resolve.

There's no problem to solve.

We're just being here right now with the wave of the sensation.

Always know you can go back to your breath,

The five counts,

The four counts,

The six counts.

And as you nurture that part,

You get ready to come back to the room.

You're ready.

You're welcome to move your neck around,

Letting the tension go,

Move your arms.

And I have a little thing for you to do.

So I have this circle of awareness.

Things I'm aware of,

Which we talked about,

The filings,

I am filings,

And the thing I'm not aware of,

Which are those driving,

Fearful feelings.

Has anybody heard of Joseph Campbell?

Yeah.

He came up with this circle of awareness.

It was because of him that we have Star Wars.

He studied myth over the years.

And he was a great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,