Hello,
My name is Catherine Cook-Coutone and welcome to the meditation titled Being and Working with Difficult People in the Moment.
This is a pre-visit meditation.
This meditation is for you to practice before you have contact with a difficult person.
Sometimes it can be helpful to think of the time with a difficult person as existing within a set of parentheses.
There's a before and an after and you can provide a container,
A set of parentheses on either side to keep the experience with a difficult person contained.
Contained within time and space,
The time and space that it exists,
And to stop it from seeping into the rest of your life by way of worrying about it before it happens or ruminating about it after it happens.
It is best to do this meditation within 30 minutes before you're going to spend time with the person.
Perhaps you can do it seated in your car before you enter the house or at your desk before the meeting.
Before I start,
Be sure you are seated in a comfortable position and feel well grounded.
Bring your awareness to your breath.
Breathing in,
I know I am breathing in,
And breathing out,
I know I am breathing out.
Breathe here for three deep breaths,
Allowing your thoughts to settle or fade into the background.
Now begin by bringing your awareness to your belly.
Let your belly move in and out as you breathe.
Place your hand on your belly and breathe here,
Feeling your belly move in and out as you breathe.
Next,
Place a hand on your heart.
Breathing your hand on your belly,
You now have a hand on your belly and a hand on your heart.
As you breathe,
Notice your heart.
Perhaps,
You can turn inward and notice the beating of your heart.
Breathe here for the deep connection in noticing,
The noticing of your belly and the noticing of your heart.
Knowing that this practice is a seeing and a listening,
You might add the thought,
I am seen and I am heard.
Breathing here,
I am seen and I am heard.
Knowing you are the witness,
You are the one who sees and you are the one who hears.
Now bring to mind what you anticipate will be difficult about the upcoming situation.
Perhaps the person is loud,
Critical or disconnected when you see connection.
Bring to mind the feeling,
The feeling that comes up when you anticipate this situation.
Now see if you can notice where this anticipation shows up in your body.
You might notice discomfort,
An anxious or unsettling feeling,
A weight,
A heaviness or maybe you feel nothing at all.
Now add your breath.
As we extend this practice,
We're going to be breathing into the discomfort and then as we exhale,
We're going to exhale saying to yourself,
Ourselves,
I am seen and I am heard.
So here,
Breathe into whatever you experience.
Breathing in and then with each exhale,
Exhale discomfort and I am seen and I am heard.
Inhale the experience you anticipate feeling,
The hard stuff and exhale,
I am seen and I am heard.
Good inhaling the difficult and then exhaling,
I am seen and I am heard.
With each breath,
Repeat this statement.
Breathing in what is difficult and breathing out into that I am seen and I am heard.
Now imagine that as you have been inhaling all of the potential stress of the situation,
That it can move right through your body and down into the ground and then as you exhale that you are seen and heard that this being seen and being heard moves outside of you and develops into a protective shield all around you.
So you're breathing in,
You're inhaling all of the stress and it moves right through your body and down into the ground through your feet and then you exhale the I am seen and I am heard and that goes outside of your body and develops this protective shield.
So continue to breathe in all of the potential challenges and allow all of it to move right through you and into the ground below you and then as you exhale I am seen and I am heard and allow it to build the protective shield around you.
Continue this breathing,
The breathing in I ground the challenge and breathing out I create the protection.
Breathing in,
I ground the challenge and breathing out,
I create the protection breathing and I ground the challenge and breathing out,
I create the protection.
Breathing here.
As you come back to your awareness on your breath,
Expand your awareness back to your belly,
Your heart,
And your breath.
Breathing in,
Noticing your belly,
Your breath,
Your heart,
And breathing out,
I am seen and I am heard.
Breathing in,
Noticing your belly,
Your heart,
And your breath,
And breathing out,
I am seen and I am heard.
Continue breathing this way for a few breaths.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Breathing in and breathing out,
I am the one who sees and I am the one who hears.
Breathing in,
Feeling the belly,
Feeling the heart,
Feeling the breath,
And breathing out,
I am the one who sees and I am the one who hears.
Now simply bring your awareness back to your breath and notice your body after doing this work.
Allow for a sense of calm and strength to settle in,
Knowing that you can take in and ground this challenge,
Any challenge,
And that you can exhale and build a protective shield of validation all around you.
With this practice,
With these skills,
You are ready for your visit.
Take a few breaths here,
Allowing the meditation to settle in.
You may want to take a few moments breathing,
Considering what the meditation means to you,
For you.
You may even want to journal.
Here,
Thank yourself for taking a few moments to listen and be in mindful self-care.
And I thank you so much for listening.
I am seen and I am heard.
I am seen and I am heard.
I am the one who sees and I am the one who hears.
Now simply bring your awareness back to your breath.
Notice your body after doing this work.
Allow for a sense of calm and strength to settle in,
Knowing that you can take in and ground the challenge,
And that you can breathe,
And you can build a protective shield of validation around you.
Breathing in and grounding and breathing out,
I am seen,
I am heard,
I create this protective shield.
You are ready for your visit.
Take a few breaths here and allow this meditation to settle.
You might want to take a few more moments of breathing and consider what this meditation means to you,
For you.
You may even want to journal about it.
Thank yourself for taking a few moments to listen and be in powerful self-care.
And I thank you so much for listening.
