Hello and welcome,
And today's word is the very important concept of self-love.
And as I bring my 50 small little talks to a close,
I feel it's important to end on perhaps the most important of all values that we need to live a truly magnificent life.
So today I ask you,
Are you truly loving yourself,
Or are you just getting by?
Do you show more love to your loved ones than you do to yourself?
Do you possibly show more love to strangers than you do to yourself?
Self-love really is the foundation of a fulfilled purpose-driven life.
It's not vanity or ego,
It's the quiet strength that says,
I am enough,
Even while you strive to become more.
Imagine what your life could look like if you treated yourself with the same compassion,
The same respect and the same encouragement that you give to those you love.
Self-love really means accepting who you are and caring for your well-being,
And also setting boundaries that honour your worth.
It's choosing to believe in yourself,
Even when life tries to convince you otherwise.
And when we practice self-love,
We create emotional stability,
We deepen relationships and we gain the clarity to make empowered decisions.
But of course,
For many of us,
Self-love is actually quite a struggle.
And the reason for that is relatively simple.
In the earliest years of our life,
We have picked up beliefs and perspectives on the world that have simply detached us from it.
In so many cases,
We're taught to look outside of ourself for love and for care,
Whether that's parents,
And in our early years,
Of course,
We could not survive without our caregivers or our parents.
It goes beyond that,
Doesn't it?
We're told very often that we need to do the right thing and be a certain way because of parents,
School,
Society,
Religion.
There are so many areas outside of ourselves that we learn very early in life to rely upon,
And most of us don't have the opportunity and don't have the guidance to actually look within.
Additionally,
There are many of us who have experienced traumatic experiences,
Large and small,
Throughout our early years and later on in life.
But particularly in those early years,
When we experience emotions that are so hard for us to process,
The mind will kick in and try and protect us from those things happening again,
Or the mind will try and protect us from having to feel a certain way again.
And in doing so,
We'll try and come up with logical reasons why things have happened in our life.
And by slipping into the mind,
We lose connection with our emotional system and with what we call our inner child.
And that for many of us as adults,
When we look back,
That is often where problems begin.
And so for some of you today,
Thinking about self-love today could be the beginning of a very,
Very beautiful love affair.
Because when we start to reconnect with that most vulnerable part of ourselves,
Life really starts to change in the most magnificent way.
We stop looking outside of ourselves for answers.
We stop blaming people around us for making us a certain way,
Making us angry or making us upset.
And we realize that we can't feel anything that's not already inside of us.
And so the best thing we can do is go inside and bring safety and healing to ourself.
And that's a really empowering moment when we come to that reality and that realization in our life.
And I see every day people coming to me with magnificent shifts,
And it's such a beautiful shift to witness.
So who are the people in society that have inspired us when it comes to the topic of self-love?
Let's begin perhaps with the wonderful Brene Brown.
She was known for her groundbreaking research on vulnerability and shame.
And she has helped millions understand that self-love begins with the courage to be imperfect,
The courage to accept ourselves,
Faults and all.
Her TED Talk and her books,
Like The Gifts of Imperfection,
Remind us that worthiness isn't earned,
It is embraced.
And perhaps today is a day where we give ourselves permission to love ourselves just the way that we are.
Another wonderful example is Fred Rogers.
Mr.
Rogers built a legacy on teaching children and adults the value of self-worth.
His consistent message was,
You are special just the way you are.
This wasn't just a phrase.
It was a revolution in emotional health and compassion.
And Michelle Obama,
As first lady,
She championed self-respect,
Confidence and personal care.
Her memoir,
Becoming,
Emphasizes the power of owning your story and loving yourself through every chapter,
Not just the polished moments.
Now,
An interesting study in Self and Identity found that people who practice self-love actually experience less anxiety and greater life satisfaction.
According to research from the University of Texas,
Self-compassion,
Not self-criticism,
Leads to greater motivation and achievement.
And that's a really interesting one,
Because many people that I meet have been brought up having been criticized quite severely from a parent who was urging them forward in the hope that they would achieve more things for themselves and have a happier life.
But very often it had the opposite effect.
Now,
The ancient Greeks identified philoutia,
Self-love,
As one of the key forms of love essential to a balanced and meaningful life.
And wouldn't it be lovely if we all recognized the importance that self-love has for a balanced and meaningful life?
So what action steps could you be taking today that would encourage more self-love in your life?
Number one,
Write down three things every day that you genuinely love about yourself.
And if you find that activity difficult initially,
I'd like you to perhaps tweak the question to go from,
What do I love about myself,
To perhaps say,
What could I love about myself?
And that will help you just start to imagine,
If self-love is something that's so foreign to you right now,
Just imagining with the word could can be incredibly helpful.
Number two,
Say no to one thing this week that drains your energy.
And in doing so,
You say yes to you.
You say yes,
Perhaps,
To that inner part of you,
The inner child,
The emotional center that may be so tucked away,
Feeling frightened and fearful and ignored and not visible.
Say that one thing today or this week that says really a big yes to you and your needs.
And number three,
I invite you to spend 10 minutes a day doing something that makes you feel really nourished emotionally,
Spiritually,
Or physically.
And the more we give ourselves this time,
The more time and energy we also have to give to others.
And so it really is a win-win.
And I love the way of thinking about things in terms of love and relationships,
That we are really the love of our life.
And when we realize that,
Everything in life starts to fall into place.
And so we're going to end today on a wonderful quote by Robert Morley.
To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.
