Good day,
Everyone.
I'm truly honored to be with you here,
Discussing a topic that might seem uncomfortable at first glance,
Embracing shame.
Why would we embrace shame?
Shame is a powerful and often overwhelming emotion,
But today we're going to explore how embracing our shame can lead to healing and growth in our lives.
So I invite you to take a seat somewhere comfortable or lie down and just begin by stretching.
Take any movement that feels good in your body right now and just move in ways that help you relax.
You might yawn,
Wiggle your fingers and toes,
Rotate your neck,
Stretch out,
And when you're done just find a comfortable resting position and begin to turn your attention to your breath.
Let's take three deep breaths together.
One.
Breathe in.
Two.
Three.
Four.
And just let it go at your own pace.
Breathing in again.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Hold it for a second and breathe out.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
One more time.
Let's breathe in.
Four.
Five.
Six.
And breathe out.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Now just let your breath return to a normal rhythm.
Let your breath flow in and out and begin to turn your attention to how you're feeling right now.
You may be feeling some shame in this moment or you may have experienced shame sometime today or recently and that experience has stuck with you.
So take a moment to just locate some feeling that you might call shame in your experience.
How does it feel in your body?
If it's uncomfortable,
See if you can just welcome the experience without any judgment,
Maybe even compassion towards yourself.
Shame is a universal human emotion.
It's that feeling that we're fundamentally flawed,
Unworthy,
Or unlovable.
And while shame can be debilitating,
It's important to recognize that everyone feels this way sometimes.
Shame is natural and sometimes it's even necessary as part of our emotional landscape and emotional growth.
So take a moment to just tell yourself,
This may be difficult but I'm not alone.
You're not alone.
And see if you can provide some comfort to yourself.
It might be putting a hand on your heart or on your belly or perhaps holding your arms,
Giving yourself a hug,
Something to convey that sentiment that you're not alone and that it's okay to feel this way sometimes.
So shame can often manifest in our lives in unhealthy ways,
Such as perfectionism,
Being overly self-critical.
And so it can be a scary thing,
Something we want to avoid.
We worry it might lead to more shame,
More isolation,
Feeling more frozen or disconnected.
But why do we feel shame in the first place and what purpose does it serve?
Shame in its purest form can be a signal.
It's sometimes an overly potent signal,
But a signal nonetheless that something in us needs attention or healing.
Some wounds from the past,
Some vulnerable parts of ourselves.
And rather than suppressing it or running away from our shame,
We can move towards it.
When we embrace it,
Accept it,
And be willing to learn from our shame,
That can be a really powerful practice.
So I invite you to take a moment now to ask,
To ask yourself,
Is there anything you need?
Ask this shame emotion that's arising in you.
What do you need?
And see if you can just listen to the answer.
If there isn't a verbal answer,
That's totally okay.
And it's possible that this part of you doesn't want to speak using words or at all.
Sometimes there are parts of us that don't use words and we can use touch as a way of communicating with them.
So you may want to place a hand on your heart or on your arms and see if that shifts anything as well.
So as we bring this practice to a close,
See if you can reflect upon your experience without judgment,
But with compassion.
That you showed up for yourself in this experiment and realize that this is a practice.
It may take time to communicate with parts of yourself that are feeling scared or shamed.
And I want to say that eventually shame can teach us.
It can be an amazing teacher.
It might lead us to awarenesses of some limitations that we have.
Healthy understanding of our limitations.
It may help us to understand that the way that we've been behaving is out of alignment with our values and integrity.
It might help us to understand that we're trying to fit in to a group when really we have some needs that aren't being met by people around us.
And lastly,
When we face our shame head-on,
It can lead to us taking ourselves a little bit less seriously and realizing that everyone has shame.
And there can be some humor and joy in recognizing our shared condition.
So take a moment now to just slowly come out of this exercise.
And if your eyes are closed,
Blink them open.
Look around your space.
Feel the points of contact with what you're sitting or lying on in your body.
And take a moment to thank yourself for going on this short journey to get a little bit closer to your own self,
Your own parts of yourself.
Thanks so much for your attention and I look forward to spending more time with you again.
