We're all struggling,
Stressing,
Suffering from this pandemic,
Some of us more than others.
And today I've been thinking about Anthony de Mello,
The great spiritual teacher who died 30 years ago,
And musing over what he'd be telling us.
And one of the things I think he would say is,
Suppose there is a way of getting rid of all that pain and conflict.
Suppose there is a way to stop that tremendous strain of energy,
Of health,
Of emotion that comes from these conflicts and confusion that we experience with the pandemic.
The first thing de Mello would start with is the understanding that there is no event on earth that has the power to disturb you or hurt you.
No event,
No condition,
No situation,
No person.
The upset is in you,
Not in reality.
But he'd also add that you're not to blame for your stressful reactions to it,
But you're not to blame for any negative way you might be reacting to the situation we're all in.
These stress reactions were programmed into you by society.
Nobody told you this.
Nobody told any of us this.
In fact,
Society told you the opposite,
That happiness depends entirely on what's happening outside of you.
And so we spend a great deal of time and energy trying to change external circumstances,
Trying to change our families,
Our bosses,
Our friends,
Our enemies,
And most especially ourselves,
Which is why we sometimes end up an emotional mess.
Given our poor track record of changing anyone or anything,
What if we threw in the towel on changing anything at all and instead just tried to understand why we are the way we are,
To understand our suffering?
To do that,
The first thing we need is not effort,
But a clear understanding of how exactly we've been programmed by society to be unhappy.
We've been programmed to build our lives on the unquestioned belief that without money,
Power,
Success,
Other people's approval,
People behaving in a certain way,
We cannot be happy.
The truth is,
Happiness is up to us.
The only reason we're ever unhappy is because we're focused on what we don't have as opposed to what we do have.
Anthony D'Mello would tell us,
We have everything we need every moment to be happy.
Happiness is our natural state.
It's the natural state of children until it gets programmed out of them.
If you take a look at the way you've been put together and the way you function,
You'll find that inside your brain,
There's a whole program stamped into you,
A set of demands about what you should want and how the world should be,
How you should be,
And how the people around you should be.
So now,
Wherever you go and whatever's happening,
Your programming goes along with you and it's active and it's operating at each conscious moment of the day,
Insisting that its demands be met by life,
You know,
By people,
By you.
And if its demands are met,
Your brain will secrete a pleasure hormone that allows you to be peaceful and happy for a few minutes.
Then it's back to being anxious and worried about any trouble that might be lurking around the next corner.
If your demands are not met,
Even though it's not your fault,
Your brain's fear center is going to generate negative emotions that cause you to suffer.
In short,
We've all been wired to upset ourselves.
When other people don't live up to your brain's expectations,
It torments you with frustration or anger or bitterness.
If people or things are not under your control or the future is in question,
As it is now,
Your brain insists that you experience anxiety,
Tension,
Worry.
So who's responsible for the way your brain is wired?
Again,
Not you.
It's really not you who decide your wants,
Your desires,
Your needs,
Even your values and your attitude.
It was your parents,
Your society,
Your religion,
Your past experiences.
So what do you need to do to change this faulty wiring,
This false programming?
The answer is nothing other than to embrace it with awareness.
Healing is not an achievement.
Happiness is not an achievement.
Love is not an achievement.
Enlightenment is not an achievement.
It is a grace,
A grace called awareness,
A grace called looking and observing and understanding.
My friend Mello tells us that if we would only switch on the light of awareness and observe ourselves and everything around us throughout the day,
If we would see ourselves reflected in the mirror of awareness,
The way you see your face reflected in a looking glass,
That is accurately,
Clearly,
Exactly as it is without the slightest distortion or addition.
And if you would observe this reflection without any judgment or condemnation of yourself,
Because what you judge you can't understand,
And if you were diligently aware of what's going on inside of you and around you,
You would begin to experience all sorts of marvelous changes.
Only you would not be in control of those changes or be able to plan them in advance or decide how and when they are to take place.
That's the nature of grace.
Nature of grace is to do it for you.
It is this non-judgmental awareness alone that heals and changes and allows us to grow,
But in its own time and in its own way.
What specifically are we to be aware of?
Our reactions and our relationships.
Each time you're in the presence of a person,
Any person or with nature or in any particular situation,
Like the one the entire world is in the midst of,
You have all sorts of reactions,
Don't you?
Some of them are positive,
Some of them are negative.
Study these reactions.
Observe what exactly they are and where they come from without any sermonizing or guilt-tripping or any self-condemnation or even any desire,
Much less effort to change them.
Anthony de Mello would tell us that is all one needs for our minds to heal and perhaps for the world to heal.
