Attachment Vs. Flow

Welcome to this reflection on attachment versus flow.

Very important topic.

I recently came across a video by a Shaolin master where he spoke about attachments making you very heavy.

Attachments keeping you stuck when life is more about moving on.

And I got this beautiful analogy from it where I saw a branch in a river stuck between two rocks.

And as the river moves the branch keeps being bashed about because it's stuck.

And then at the same time you can have a branch in the river that's flowing freely as the river moves which I'm guessing is a slightly more enjoyable experience.

The difference of course is we don't have to be that stuck branch.

We have agency to move and to change things.

And this is why I recorded this reflection where you might be able to draw some things out.

And this also includes a short practice which will hopefully help with that.

Enjoy.

I've recently found in my life this concept to be very very important.

I mean it's always been prevalent and something you can't escape.

Attachment right?

And also the potential for opening up to flow.

But I wanted to just share something from my life and connect it a little bit to some ancient wisdom in case that's helpful.

And you probably know the famous quote on attachment by the Buddha which says the root of suffering is attachment.

And there's another quote by Rob Stryker saying,

Attachment is a tough one.

So to give you an example of my life,

I recently had to move out of the accommodation I was living in.

But I really wanted to live in that area and everyone was saying oh it's impossible to find something here,

We're in a housing crisis,

Blah blah.

And of course that was triggering for me and you know I was then blessed with a new place,

A place to stay in that area which feels amazing.

But I noticed when I was there and then I got a leaflet through the door about the housing crisis,

Something in me got triggered again saying oh what if I lose this place?

Will I find something else?

Where will I stay?

Will I be able to be here?

I love this place so much.

This is where my life is.

Everything will be just not as good if I can't live here.

And you know I was present with that,

Realized huh,

Attachment.

Because what would flow say?

Flow would say I'm here right now,

This is amazing,

This is cool.

Sometimes it's challenging,

Sometimes it's easier,

Sometimes it's amazing.

But life changes.

So if I was really in the flow there,

I would just say I'm here for as long as I'm here and when it's time to pass this place on to someone else,

Something changes,

I will go wherever life leads me and I trust in myself and my ability to manifest and find somewhere else that supports me that's also beautiful even if that's not immediately apparent.

But the thing is,

Which is often overlooked,

I feel many people are forcing the flow.

They're saying I'll just go with the flow,

Let go of all that attachment stuff.

But if you think back to being a kid,

A child,

Whenever you were sad and you told people and you showed people you were sad and people would say oh don't be sad,

Would you then not be sad?

If I think about myself,

I would be even more sad because now I'm sad and I'm also not seen.

So it's the same thing with this part within us that really fears what happens if I lose this.

So the key here I feel is to really work together with this part to then allow the flow to unfold.

So we could just do this as a sort of micro practice,

There's no better time than the present.

So if you just take a few deep breaths and notice any contact with surfaces that are supporting you right now in this moment.

And as your system settles down,

Tuning into something that you feel a little bit too attached to,

That you feel a little bit too attached to,

That you're clinging on to,

Could even be your life.

It's totally normal to form attachments,

To be attached,

To staying alive,

To surviving,

That's one of our biggest fears.

But ultimately,

All these things,

Big or small,

Are attachments that we've formed.

I'm just checking in with the part or the different parts,

There may be more than one.

What they fear would happen if you lost this,

If you lost this.

And then letting it know that you hear that.

If that's true for you,

That you have compassion,

That that must be really scary,

That you hear that.

And thanking it that it's looking out for you in this way,

Even if it feels a bit destructive,

A bit annoying.

Painful.

That it's actually just looking out for your survival and well-being.

And at the core,

It's simply scared or whatever it may be that's present.

Really locating that in your body as well.

Where are you feeling this?

Maybe that's the shoulders.

Whatever is unique for you,

Where it's showing up.

And again,

Without wanting to change anything,

Just feeling into that,

Witnessing this,

Not judging,

Just noticing what is here.

If you like taking some deeper breaths,

Not to change anything,

But just to remind yourself that you're here now.

That imagination and future contemplation has its place,

But also you're anchored and safe in this present moment.

You're anchored and safe in this present moment.

And as you thank this part for everything it's doing,

And letting it know that you see it and you hear it,

And you're there for it,

If that's true for you.

See if you can connect to a sense of deeper self.

A part that's more present,

Very wise,

And connected to this ability to flow with life and trust,

Surrender.

Sometimes just tuning in to the surfaces that are grounding you,

Like your feet on the floor,

Can really help to make contact with this deeper part of you,

Your essence.

And as you make contact with this,

See if you can bring a sense of acceptance,

Surrender,

Trust,

And flow to this situation that you're worried about,

That you may be a little bit too attached to.

And see how you feel about that from this perspective.

And feeling what that feels like in your body.

And feeling what that feels like in your heart.

And feeling what that feels like in your mind.

And feeling what that feels like in your body.

And feeling what that feels like in your heart.

Feeling secure because you know you always find solutions,

Life always finds solutions through you.

As you embrace the ever-changing nature of life,

Grateful to be alive,

Grateful for the blessings in your life,

For the experiences.

Flowing with life.

I have another quote for you from Pema Chödrön and she says,

We are like children building a sand castle.

We embellish it with beautiful shells,

Bits of driftwood,

And pieces of colored glass.

The castle is ours,

Off limits to others.

We are willing to attack others,

Threatening to hurt it.

Yet despite our attachment,

We know that the tide will inevitably come and sweep the sand castle away.

The trick is to enjoy it fully,

But without clinging.

And when the time comes,

Letting it go to dissolve back into the sea.

Flowing with life.

Much love.

Thank you for being here.

My name is Felix Niu.

Courage makes it possible.

Joy makes it easier.

And love is the reason why.

Love takes you on a ride.

Love is what's true despite.

Love is what's true inside.

Soak up these soothing vibes.