The Rescuer Archetype

Welcome.

We're going to start by placing our attention on our breath as we do some preparation calming the body and the mind before going into some deep focus of the rescuer archetype.

Placing your attention on your whole body,

Just allowing your body to ground itself right now.

Intentionally feeling a connection with the earth and then gently allowing the breath to extend.

Breathing in just a little bit deeper than what you were while keeping the breath comfortable.

Continue breathing in this manner and if any thoughts or distractions arise just replace them with the focus on the breath.

And now let's put our attention on the out breath.

Exhale out and release,

Let go of.

And as you do so feel the body relax even more.

Ah as you sigh out.

And welcome in peace and calm into your whole system and set the intention now for yourself to receive the information in a way that is most meaningful for you.

And ask that you be open to your highest awareness.

So that you will be able to use the information in your life going forward as you need to.

Breathe into that intention and then exhale let that go.

And just let your breath rest in its natural rhythm now.

As we move into our discussion together on the rescuer.

Now the rescuer in its shadow state can be taken advantage of by the one that they are rescuing.

And this is often because the help that is being given is being given for the wrong reasons.

And it's these reasons for rescuing that we will be addressing in this discussion.

As well as how to transform the shadow rescuer into a state of light and benefit for her or himself.

As well as those around them.

So welcome to this discussion.

I'm Helen.

I'm a kinesiologist and I have been working in the field of psychology for more than 20 years.

And I use a combination of developmental psychology,

Holistic psychology,

Which comes through kinesiology.

As well as archetypal psychology.

So it's this blend that is reflected through the information I'm going to be sharing with you.

So let's start by looking at what are the traits of a rescuer in a shadow state.

In other words,

In a space where an experience is not life giving,

But rather life taking.

The rescuer operating not in its light will want to help a lot of people a lot of the time and may not always have the capacity to do so.

But the rescuer sometimes finds it hard to say no.

The rescuer is also a people pleaser.

And they can be quite needy.

And the reason they are helping out is to fulfill a need of their own.

And this need is validation,

A need to be seen,

To be loved,

To feel that they're good enough.

When the true self is not providing internal validation.

And what happens is the ego steps in to take over.

And this is when the rescuer can become manipulative.

Oftentimes without even realizing it.

This is all happening on a subconscious level.

In the conscious level,

There is the intention of goodwill,

And loving kindness and empathy,

Which are all real valuable traits of the rescuer.

Those are the traits that one wants to nourish and build and have them as the majority.

And because the rescuer can sometimes be inflicted by their own personal needs of validation,

Which kind of slips through into taking over this beautiful archetypal expression of one's capacity of loving and giving and really caring for humankind on a very deep and compassionate and meaningful level,

That can sometimes be overshadowed by the shadow state of the rescuer.

And so we see that the rescuer is not only taken advantage of by others,

But they too can take advantage of others,

Others who perhaps are in a weak or a vulnerable position.

And a classic example is someone reaching out to help someone else in need,

But doing it for the intention of affection,

Of attention,

Maybe even for a relationship.

And just remember,

This is oftentimes done without even realizing it.

Or if there is a realization,

Sometimes that can be suppressed or denied.

And that's the internal struggle between the shadow and the light space that the rescuer goes through.

So how does a rescuer in a shadow space happen?

Well,

There's two ways.

The first is in childhood,

Where she or he learned that when I say yes,

I get love.

When I go out of my way to do something for someone,

Then I get affection.

When I do what others tell me to do all the time without questioning,

Then they like me.

And I can like myself too.

So if your child questions why they have to do something,

Or says,

I don't want to do that,

Understand that there is a positive aspect to this.

And when the child is punished for not responding in the way that an adult or caregiver expects,

That can then be part and parcel of a shadow rescuer transforming later in life.

Of course,

I'm not saying here,

Give in to the child.

What I'm saying is understand where it's coming from.

Don't take it personally.

Engage with meaningful conversations such as,

Hmm,

I hear you.

I understand.

I don't like washing dishes either,

But it has to be done.

So sooner it gets done,

The sooner you can carry on playing.

It's just your awareness and your compassion coming from a different place,

A heart space,

As opposed to an ego trigger.

The other aspect that creates a rescuer is the archetypal expression in an individual.

In other words,

This is something that you're born with.

You're born naturally in your system,

Your holistic system,

To have empathy,

Compassion,

To want to help.

And when one is energized,

Helping another without any ulterior motive,

That is the light space,

The light expression of a rescuer.

And we see this in examples of the nurse,

The fireman,

The lifeguard,

The companion,

The caregiver,

The healer,

The therapist,

The helper.

One of my personal archetypes is the healer.

But it took many years,

Decades,

For the healer to be able to express herself from a heart space.

Because before that,

It was in a shadow state of the rescuer.

And I found myself repeatedly in positions without even realizing it,

Helping others,

And over helping,

Thinking that I'm doing the right thing,

Thinking that I'm helping them.

And in actual fact,

It wasn't helping them.

In actual fact,

It was taking away their power.

And the way that those transformed was when I finally chose to express my empathy,

My compassion,

In my vocation,

Through my vocation,

So that there was this natural energy exchange between me and the person that I'm helping,

Then that part of my rescuer was fulfilled.

And so my vibration changed.

And as my vibration changed,

I attracted least and least situations in my life,

In my personal life,

Of family,

Friends,

Needing the part of me that was rescuing from a shadow state.

Automatically,

This happened all on its own,

Naturally,

Because my vibration changed because I consciously moved into an authentic expression of myself in my vocation.

And it took about 10 years for all of that to really transform and settle.

But I'm so glad that I had the courage to turn my life around,

Be honest with myself,

And know what I really,

Really want to do with my life,

With my expression in the world.

And then to do it in a way where there were healthy boundaries,

And healthy intentions.

Because when those healthy boundaries weren't there,

What was happening is I ended up sabotaging myself again and again and again.

And here we see the saboteur was now playing with my shadow rescuer.

This is what happens with our archetypal expressions,

With our different aspects,

Or the different roles that we have to express ourselves through in our life here on earth.

Our archetypes work in teams.

So even though we're talking about the rescuer here,

Just remember that the rescuer,

Especially in a shadow state,

Will be teaming up with maybe your saboteur,

Maybe even your victim,

Your wounded child.

So if you are noticing any of these shadow qualities relevant for you,

Or maybe they're relevant for somebody that you know well,

Just consider other aspects as well.

So let's now look at how else one can transform a rescuer from a shadow state to one that is balanced,

Able to say no,

Able to put him or herself first,

Only helping for the right reasons,

And a rescuer who's energized by giving when they do,

And not complaining about the giving thereafter.

Well,

The answer lies in self-validation.

When one does not seek confirmation from the outside that I'm good enough,

I'm lovable,

I'm worthy,

When I actually and wisely give this validation to myself,

Not in an egocentric way,

But in a truthful,

Humble way,

Then I am truly fulfilled,

And that is when I know my true worth.

I feel my worth,

And I can express it in my life.

And this is something to be realized.

So how do we realize this in our life?

The first step is being aware of what is really,

Really going on.

Being brutally honest with oneself and acknowledging shadow behavior,

Where there is shadow behavior,

Without judgment or shame or blame,

Simply pure awareness.

Then comes the choice to transform that.

And after the choice,

Comes the will,

The drive to see it through.

And this process of awareness,

Of choice,

And of will,

This is what is slowly going to be able to bring a shift into the validation part of you,

The part of you that needs to be seen and heard and loved.

Because when one is validated from within,

Then we can help others for the right reasons,

Without agenda,

Without expectations,

Without moaning and complaining afterwards.

Because if you notice you're doing any of these things while helping someone,

That is a sure sign that this is in a shadow state,

It's not from the heart space.

This is a wonderful awareness taking place,

Giving you the opportunity to activate a change.

Our subconscious is designed so beautifully that when we wake up to a message,

Because often the messages have been there,

We might just have been asleep.

So when we wake up to them,

It happens at the perfect timing.

It is the timing that we are ready to realize this information.

In other words,

Go through that process just mentioned.

We never become aware of something and get the message,

Get the memo,

Get the signal,

Unless our system is ready for that change.

Sometimes we don't think we are,

We think it's going to be too hard.

But what's harder is to stay in the place,

In that shadow space where one is,

Repeating day after week after month after year after decade.

A certain cycle and going deeper and deeper into that cycle that is not life-giving,

But life-taking.

And sometimes when we go through a process like this and we eventually get to a space of pure validation of oneself from within.

We start to get to know ourselves in a very different way and we start to realize who we really are and not being a reflection of somebody else's projection.

And this sometimes means that those individuals who have been in a rescuer space realize that actually this is not me,

This is not my calling.

I was in a rescuer space because of an environmental experience that I was reacting to.

Or a childhood experience that I've been reacting to,

Still 20,

30 years later.

And then in that case,

There is an opening for seeing and becoming aware of one's true calling,

One's true purpose,

One's true self.

For the others who remain in the rescuer,

This true self then is transformed through positive light expression.

And now the rescuer can express itself through the archetypes mentioned before,

Such as the healer,

The therapist,

The counselor,

The doctor,

Etc.

So if you are a rescuer,

Before rescuing someone,

Ask yourself if you're actually doing that personal service or a disservice in the long run.

Is it really helpful to be doing homework for your child repeatedly?

Is it really helpful to keep lending money to the same person every week?

Is it really helpful to always say yes to a family member who turns around after your help and treats you shamefully?

And if you find yourself answering these questions with,

I have no choice,

Then I invite you to go within and sit in meditation with the question,

With the statement of,

Show me the choices I have,

Because there are always choices.

And when you are persistent in finding the answer,

Because the answers are always there,

It's about our willingness to hear them,

To see them,

To feel them,

To know them,

To trust them,

To respond to them,

To put action to them.

So sit repeatedly with the intention of finding,

Seeing,

And knowing those choices that are there.

And don't have any expectations of the outcome.

Don't have any expectations of getting an answer immediately.

Let it go.

Trust.

Trust that things will transpire as they need to in the right time.

Have the intention,

Have the will,

And let it go.

We're going to engage now in a brief exercise to assist you to shift the rescuer to operate from a heart space.

Please find a comfortable position if you aren't already in one.

Just allowing the eyes to close,

Allowing the body to relax down.

Putting your attention now on the breath and moving everything that you've been thinking about over the past few minutes,

All the information from this discussion,

Just move it to the side.

Just focus on the breath.

Relax the muscles in the face,

In the body.

And trust your intuition.

As you now ask yourself,

Where do I rescue others?

Is there a shadow aspect of my rescuer that I need to be aware of,

That I'm not aware of?

Please show me now.

Now simply just be for a few moments with no expectations.

Taking a breath in.

Taking a breath in.

And letting go of whatever came up for you now.

Now if you can place your left hand on your forehead.

And imagine yourself in an experience of helping someone else purely from your heart.

There is no agenda.

There's only love.

There's only kindness and caring.

See yourself going into a situation where somebody is needing support,

Love.

Whatever it might be.

It can be very physical.

It can be a very spiritual experience.

Whatever you are led to,

Don't question.

Just allow your intuition to guide you.

And see this movie unfolding in your mind's eye.

Of you being able to give.

With this pure love,

Where there are no expectations.

Where you are not taking on somebody else's stuff.

Where you are able to gently but firmly keep your boundaries in place.

And they remain in place.

And so there is this beautiful flow of being able to give and for your giving to be received.

And then you see that experience coming to a close.

And see yourself leave.

And see the other person leave.

And you both leave in different directions.

And that individual that you've helped,

They are so much better for it.

And they are grateful.

And they move back into their life with ease.

And you move back into your life with ease.

Letting go of that experience.

Letting that experience just be that experience.

And you holding in your space love.

This energized feeling.

After having given from your heart.

Just take a moment to feel that emotion.

Feel that frequency running through your system.

And breathe that in.

And as you exhale,

Just feel it filling up the field around you.

Around your physical body.

And breathe in again.

And as you exhale,

Notice that extending outwards.

And keep doing this.

And your vibration just continues to radiate out.

Throughout your community.

Throughout your country.

Your continent.

And even this planet Earth.

Can you allow this beautiful vibration of yours to radiate throughout the universe?

And beyond?

Breathing in.

And letting that go.

Bringing your attention back now to your whole body.

Your whole physical body.

And with a smile on your lips,

Gently open your eyes.

And give thanks for all that love and that kindness and that caring that is available within you.

And may you go out into the world,

Into your life using that wisely and using that mindfully.

Thank you for being part of this discussion with me.

I would love to hear your experience that you had in this visualization now.

You can share your experience in the comments section.

And I do look forward to reading them.

Until we meet again,

Do take care.