Christian IFS Finding A Trailhead Childhood Neglect

Good morning.

I'm pleased to be spending time with you today in the IFS Ruth room.

I hope you're feeling comfortable.

I hope you found your normal,

Safe place to sit.

Somewhere that feels safe.

Somewhere that no one's going to interrupt you.

I'm enjoying exploring your parts with you and I know that your parts will be benefiting from getting your special one-to-one attention being heard and seen.

When you have suffered neglect as a child,

This is the most special and important attention you can give.

It's hard.

We often compensate by people-pleasing to get attention and seek others' validation.

Now is the time to start to turn inside and do the important healing work and we can invite God and Jesus and Holy Spirit to come right now into this therapy space with us.

Let's take a moment to do that now before we start the work.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much that you said that you are here forever and ever eternally.

So reliable.

You are our loving parent.

You are Abba Father.

You are Mother.

Like a mother hen,

When you come down and sit on the chick,

We are your chick.

Jesus,

God in a human form,

You can hold my hand and hold my parts' hands and love us through the exploration we're doing today.

Thank you Lord Jesus for all that you do for me.

So just take a moment to centre into your body and notice what is here at the moment.

See what part of your body is giving you sensations right now.

Where is your attention drawn?

It might be your heart centre.

Put your hand on your heart if that's the case.

It might be things going on in your abdomen,

Your throat or your head.

Or anywhere else in your body.

Hands,

Shoulders,

Feet,

Legs.

So once we've located the trailhead,

Let's say hello to the trailhead.

Hello part.

How do you feel towards this part?

Check and see if you're feeling that you've got self-energy.

That's energy of compassion,

Curiosity,

Clearness,

Calm,

Confidence,

Courage,

Connection and creativity.

If you're not feeling like that,

Maybe there's another part here.

Check and see how that part is feeling.

And it would be right to spend time with that part now,

Rather than the original trailhead sensation.

This would be a protector and we need to make sure we don't bypass any protectors.

But if you are in self-energy,

We can continue to explore this part.

Let's send some appreciation for the part,

Whether it's the protector or whether it's the part that we started with.

Hi part,

I'm so glad that you're here today and I'm really grateful.

I know that there are no bad parts in my system.

All my parts have come to help me survive.

And I'm wondering if you'd like to know who I am.

Just let the part know who you are,

How old you are,

That you're a grown-up,

That you've been doing work on yourself for quite a long time now.

And that you've got the intention to heal and to do that by giving attention to any feelings,

Sensations that present themselves at any moment of the day.

And let the part know you've also got Jesus and God and Holy Spirit in this special place,

Safe place.

Ask the part how they're feeling.

Do they feel safe where you are?

If they don't feel safe,

We can offer a place in our imagination to go that might be safer.

I recommend having one or two of these places.

I used to have one in a cave with a sandy bottom that was really warm and I used to feel so safe there.

But you might want something else.

You might want a meadow,

To be at a mountain,

To be in a house of your imagination.

In a cosy lounge with a burning fire or a lovely garden.

You can choose.

Check with your part that you're communicating with where they'd like to be,

Where they would feel safe.

And then agree to go with them to that place.

Just take a moment to jot down in your journal where that place is.

Thank you so much part.

Are you feeling a bit more comfortable now with somewhere that feels safe for you?

How long have you been doing this job for me that you're doing?

Is there something that you would like me to know?

Just listen in.

Maybe there's a memory,

A vision,

A picture,

An image.

What's your part want to share with you?

Can you tell me a bit more about that?

What happened then?

Are you trying to protect me?

What's your job?

What are you trying to do?

Just take a moment to listen to what this part needs to share with you.

I really appreciate what you're telling me and I really feel a deep love,

Unconditional love for all these jobs that you've been doing for me.

When did you start to do this job that you're doing,

Protecting me?

How old were you when you started?

Is it tiring doing that job?

Yes,

It is tiring.

Would you like to give up that job?

And let me take care of you from now on and let Jesus take care of us.

Maybe the part wants to give up all of the job or quite often there's insecurity to change.

If they've been doing that for a very long time,

They often don't want to give it up.

And if that's the case,

Ask them how much they'd like to give away to Jesus.

And this is called unburdening.

How much would you like to give away part?

Would you like to give all of this job or like 75%,

50%,

25%?

It's absolutely fine.

You don't need to give it all up.

Maybe it's scary.

What will life look like if you don't have this job in your life anymore?

So however much they've decided to give up,

We can ask them how they want to give that away.

Would it be through light,

Through water,

Through fire,

Through air or through earth?

Whichever medium they've chosen,

Ask them where they want to do that,

What environment it might be.

So for water,

For example,

Would it be a river,

A stream,

Would it be in the rain,

At the sea,

At a lake?

Take a moment to journal where you're going to be with this part and with Jesus,

God and Holy Spirit.

Draw a picture if you want with your part of the place.

This is something you can continue to do after this session,

Getting into an art space.

Let's walk there with this part of yours and with Jesus,

God and Holy Spirit.

So wherever that task was sitting in your body,

Now we can help that part.

Just take your hands and start to remove it.

See what colour it is,

What kind of a substance it is.

Maybe it's a string-like substance,

Maybe it's balls,

Maybe it's a thick gunge.

Pull it out and throw it out into whatever medium you've agreed in that location.

Just keep doing it.

Feels good.

Just release,

Release.

Jesus will take this from us.

Thank you God that you said you will take on anything.

You have come down to earth to heal us.

Thank you Lord,

Mighty Saviour,

Prince of Peace.

Just keep it.

It might feel emotional.

Just release,

Release.

Keep pulling out until it's all gone or as much as you've agreed to release.

This is really good work.

Check in and see how your part is feeling.

Are they feeling a bit lighter?

And we can ask,

What would the part like to do instead?

Instead of doing that job,

Is there something else that part would like to do with you?

If it's a young part,

Often the thing that they would like is simple.

It might be a heavenly hug,

A reassurance every day.

It might be going out for a walk or going on an adventure.

Doing some painting,

Colouring,

Playing a game,

Watching a nice film.

Splashing in puddles with wellingtons on.

Whatever your part wants to do,

Take a note of it.

Write it down in your journal.

Thank you so much part.

I'm so glad to be getting to know you and building trust with you.

I love you so much.

Cross your arms and put your hands on opposite arms and hold and squeeze.

Give yourself and your part a heavenly hug.

You can raise your hands to your shoulders and stroke down to your elbows.

And just continue to do that.

Thank you so much part.

You are safe with me.

I love you.

I want to prioritise putting you back in the centre of my life.

I'm sorry that I've gone outside of myself to get validation when all along you were right there needing my love.

From now on you come first and I want to keep checking in with you.

You've done a fantastic job today.

I'm so,

So proud of you.

Sharing so much of what has been going on for you.

Tell the part it's time to go now but you're going to come back to spend more time with it as and when this part needs.

If this part doesn't want you to leave and you're happy for it to stay with you,

You can welcome it to stay with you.

Or if this part wants to stay in their safe place,

You can leave them in their safe place.

And let's just thank Jesus and God and the IFS Institute and Dr Richard Swartz.

Insight Timer and everybody that's made this possible.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for healing.

Thank you for light.

Thank you for love.

See you next time.

Thank you.

You've done an amazing job.

Make sure to give yourself the affirmation you need.

This does make a difference and you are making progress.

You are amazing.

You are loving,

Lovable and loved.