Forgiveness Meditation - Soothing And Healing

Beautiful.

I decided to be out of here.

Yeah,

Nice.

Meditation outside is so good.

But I'm gonna have to do lying down because my back gets hurt like when there's no support.

Yeah,

It hurts.

I think my core is not strong.

That's why we're sitting.

Wow.

Yeah,

It's what we used to,

Isn't it?

Fantastic.

Okay,

Will you go ahead?

Everyone get yourselves in a comfortable position,

Whether that's on the sofa like Liam.

Outside with the beautiful birds.

Let me put this on.

Yeah,

Fantastic.

And good to have you Sonia.

Caroline,

Liz.

Yeah,

Nice to see you this morning.

Yeah,

I'm actually loving all the birds there from Alex.

Something I've really noticed in this lockdown is how the birds seem to have,

I don't know,

I just hear birds song everywhere.

I don't know if it's because we've slowed down a bit,

Or whether it's that because of the less of traffic,

Like the birds are singing more,

But yeah,

It's amazing.

So let's get started today.

So,

Forgiveness.

Day four of forgiveness.

I'm curious as to what you might have noticed already.

Something that occurred to me is how,

You know,

Forgiveness and acceptance,

They're so woven in together.

And also this concept of letting go of expectations.

Because I don't know about you,

But certainly me.

Oh,

It's just so easy to have expectations of other people,

You know,

Of wanting people to be a certain way.

And when they're not like that for us,

We can feel,

You know,

Hurt,

We can take it personally.

And actually,

All of that is just like a story in our head,

Really.

And yeah,

I'm not great at telling stories,

But you know,

A little thing.

You know,

I left home when I was really young.

And I've always had a really strong connection with my brother,

He was four when I left home.

And I felt a sense of like responsibility,

You know,

For him,

And I really loved him.

And as he grew up,

He grew up into this,

You know,

Kind of boisterous,

Like,

You know,

Like my reaction to everything that happened was to become,

You know,

Compassionate and to become,

You know,

To understand things,

You know,

And his reaction was to kind of to cope,

You know,

And to be the man of house.

And so,

You know,

I became,

You know,

I joke,

You know,

I became this kind of,

Like,

All my friends are all these different colors.

And like,

I'm like the,

The semi vegan tree hugger,

You know,

And he's like this right wing,

You know,

Brexit,

You know,

Kind of guy and we really,

We really clashed,

You know,

And it was great.

It was breaking my heart really,

Because,

You know,

Here from,

You know,

This,

You know,

This,

This,

This little cute little boy into being like,

You know,

Into his like,

You know,

20s and 30s,

Where he increasingly,

You know,

Entrenched these habits,

You know,

You know,

Being a certain way and we just we clashed and I really felt like this distance between him.

And then through these practices,

I realized I needed to let go my expectation of my brother,

You know,

I needed I need to let him be who he is,

And stop fundamentally trying to change him.

Because that's all the way the resistance is needing him to be a certain way wanting him to see my point of view wanting him to,

You know,

To,

You know,

Because I just felt like he was rejecting me all the time.

Actually,

This wasn't really what was happening from for put myself in his shoes,

He was just trying to do his best.

And then he's got this sister who just constantly is disappointed in him in some way.

I don't think necessarily it was disappointment.

But I think,

From his perspective,

He would have felt all the lack from me in the way I interacted with him.

And so this is going back about two years ago now really where I had this light bulb of like,

I need to just stop doing this.

And so instead what I've,

You know,

And I kind of,

I did this forgiveness work of forgiving myself,

For needing him to be that way I forgave him for being the asshole misogynistic Brexit voter.

Right.

I just bathed all of that in forgiveness.

And actually our relationship now,

I mean,

It's amazing he caught like this week,

He's driving me mad because he calls me every day for about 47 minutes,

58 minutes,

Like for about an hour just to kind of to chat shit or to help him where he wants my help with things.

And that comes from letting go of the need to help him.

Letting go of the the the need for our relationship to be a certain way.

And to just forgive all of that.

And from that,

This is where true connection can kind of unfold.

Just thought I'd share that in case that helps.

And there was this quote that I thought I'd share from love for imperfect things.

Just a beautiful book.

And it says underneath someone's violent nature.

There is always fear rooted in either childhood or present circumstances.

Underneath that fear lurks hurt and vulnerability.

If you really want to forgive someone,

Look beneath the surface and see what's there.

That's a very good one.

So this is the frame for our meditation practice today because it strikes me whether it's family or whether it's people at work,

Or particularly people in positions of responsibility or people that we feel have,

You know,

Power over us in some way.

Yeah,

This applies to all of that.

So let's begin.

As we do with the breath in through the nose.

Pills at the top and like you're blowing out a balloon.

Continue in this practice.

As we allow the body to arrange itself more comfortably.

Two more breaths.

And then just let your breath fall into a natural but conscious rhythm.

In and out as we begin our meditation practice where we let go of connection with our thoughts.

And instead we feel the breath.

Anchoring into the sensations of the breath.

Perhaps the flow of breath in the nostrils.

Perhaps feeling the flow down the back of the throat.

Into the ribcage or the belly.

Just notice how you are today.

We are different in every moment.

We work with where we are.

Letting go of the expectation of where we want to be where we should be.

Just start here where we are.

We allow a wave of relaxation to flow over and through our body and mind.

Relaxing the scalp,

The skin on the face,

The eyes,

The cheeks,

The jaw.

Feeling that wave of relaxation flow through the throat,

Across the shoulders,

Down the arms,

Into the hands and the fingers.

That wave of relaxation flowing down the front and the back of the body.

Softening the heart.

The space between the shoulders.

Facing the diaphragm and the belly.

Feeling that wave of relaxation flowing through the hips,

Down the legs,

Into the feet and the toes.

Let everything soften and relax.

Allowing yourself to be here in the now.

Anchoring yourself in the now in any way that resonates with you.

Sensations on your skin,

The feeling of the breath.

Connection to your belly,

Whatever is best for you in this moment now.

And with each out breath we allow our awareness to come in deeper.

To begin to descend deep,

Deep into our core.

And we connect in here with our vulnerability.

Our authentic self.

Breathing into this space.

Feeling it soften.

And from this place allowing to bubble up anything that needs forgiveness.

Perhaps someone that you have expectations of.

A strong demand for them to be a certain way.

And see them before you.

And allow yourself to see them as they are.

Breathing this energy of forgiveness into you.

Feeling yourself so filled that you radiate forgiveness.

And just be curious.

Curious about this person that you feel has wronged you or hurt you.

Bathe them in your curiosity.

Can you truly see them without the filter of your expectation?

What might they be afraid of?

What might they be afraid of?

What might they be afraid of?

And what needs may they have?

What their needs?

And then just bathe them in a wave of forgiveness.

See yourself say to them,

I forgive you.

As you release any emotions that you feel.

You allow them to arise.

You acknowledge your regret,

Pain,

Anger,

Rage.

Whatever it is that's coming up.

Breathe into it.

Allow yourself to really feel it.

I see you.

I accept you.

I feel freedom.

See them receive your forgiveness.

See them looking at you.

Feel them bathe you in a wave of forgiveness.

And feel them say,

I forgive you.

And then give that person a hug.

Or shake their hand.

Or wave.

Release them.

Let go.

As we move into this phase of our practice.

I mind the time.

You just connect to your breath and let go dissolve with each exhale.

Breathe in receive.

Breathe out dissolve release.

Let go.

Any thoughts that arise just letting them release dissolve and go.

Let go.

So easy for us to let go.

Let go with each breath.

Breathe in.

As we breathe in this energy of forgiveness.

We feel this flowing through every cell in our body.

One of my favorite sayings from the world of Zen is ho ho kare dojo.

Ho ho kare dojo.

Every step there is an opportunity to learn.

And this human experience.

Like an endless cycle moment to moment of waking up and falling to sleep,

Becoming aware and having flashes of insight.

And then sinking back into unawareness.

This is how it is.

Our anchoring thought for today is there are no mistakes,

Only learning.

There are no mistakes,

Only learning.

Ho ho kare dojo.

So to bring our practice to an end today,

Just wiggle your fingers.

Wiggle your toes.

Wiggle around in your body.

Blink your eyes,

Open fully back into now stretch your arms up above your head.

Oh,

Nice big stretch maybe your your stretch the knuckles away.

Move into the sides of the body.

Yeah,

Stretch the arms out to the side,

Hands around behind your back stretch the knuckles away lift the chin up,

Breathe into the throat.

And as you exhale hands come around in front of you stretch the knuckles away,

Arch the back as much as you can try and touch your nose on your tummy button chin on the chest.

And that is it,

My lovely friends,

7am here in the UK.

Go have a great rest of your day.

Rest of your afternoon or rest of your night sleep depending where in the world you are.

Bye everyone.