Welcome,
Welcome.
It's really good to be here with you today.
So I've been reflecting on how much time and energy that I've spent,
I'm sure like many of you,
Trying to heal myself.
For years I was focused on healing my inner child and healing my body and healing my thoughts and healing my beliefs and healing my emotions and it was endless,
As you know.
At first though it felt freeing,
It almost felt empowering.
I felt like I was finally doing something about all this pain and confusion and suffering that I'd been carrying for so long.
But after a while it started to feel really heavy,
Like there was always another layer to uncover,
Another wound to fix,
Another version of me that wasn't quite enough yet.
It was kind of like this never-ending game of whack-a-mole,
Do you remember that game?
It was an arcade game if you're not familiar with it,
But there was a board with several holes and you had to bop the mole wherever it came up.
And so there was always,
There seemed to be always something to bop or whack in my mind,
You know,
Just when I changed a belief about relationships,
Oh there's an ugly belief about money,
Whack,
Oh there's an ugly belief about my career,
I have to heal it or I have to change it,
I have to fix it,
Whack.
And honestly I probably have spent somewhere in the arena of hundreds of thousands of dollars in the personal development over the years trying to fix and heal this self,
This personality,
This identification.
And I'd really like my money back because I feel like it's all a sham.
I'm just kidding,
It was a helpful stepping stone.
But that began to shift when I first started to really understand the non-dual perspective,
That healing isn't about fixing a broken self at all,
It's about recognizing the wholeness that's already here.
And that realization just really hit me when I first started to really understand this work,
You know,
The idea that I didn't need to repair what was never broken,
That true healing comes not from changing the story but from seeing that the story itself is being held within infinite awareness,
The very awareness that we are.
And from that place everything had softened,
The inner child trauma,
The thoughts,
The beliefs,
They all belonged.
And I allowed them to arise and dissolve naturally without opposing them.
And that's an ongoing practice.
But the real work,
Or maybe should I say the real invitation,
Is living from that understanding,
Embodying it,
Using everyday life,
Moments of conflict,
Of stress and emotion,
Just as reminders to come home,
To notice without judgment of course,
Am I trying to fix the person again?
Or can I just simply rest as the awareness that holds it all,
Without resistance,
Without judgment?
And that's the deepest healing,
Not adding something new,
But remembering what's never really been missing.
So today we'll rest in that remembrance together.
Shall we begin?
Just find a comfortable position.
You can keep your eyes opened or closed.
And just letting the breath be natural.
Perhaps maybe softening your shoulders or your jaw and your facial muscles.
Understanding that we're not trying to get anywhere.
There's nowhere else to be.
You're already here.
You may notice thoughts moving,
Perhaps about this meditation or about your day,
Or about something you've been trying to work on.
And that's okay.
Just notice.
Let them appear and fade.
Just sensing this open,
Allowing space that holds everything.
The thoughts,
The sensations,
The stories,
The memories.
Notice that the body is breathing.
And you're not making that happen.
It's just happening.
And the same is true with healing.
It unfolds naturally when attention rests in what's real.
We don't need to heal the mind or fix the body.
We don't need to heal the body or understand anything.
So we can just let all of the effort drop away.
And just notice what's already whole.
You may feel sensations arise.
Let them come.
Let them move through.
And notice what's aware of them.
That awareness,
That silent witnessing presence,
Has never been wounded.
It doesn't need to heal.
It's the constant background to everything you've ever felt.
And it's the truth of who you are.
Healing happens in this seeing,
In this simple recognition that everything is allowed to be as it is.
Even the part that still wants to fix or understand.
That too can be held in love.
And as we gently bring this session to a close,
Bring some attention back to your surroundings.
Noticing the sounds in the room,
The body breathing.
And if your eyes were closed,
You can gently open them.
Knowing that even with the eyes open,
The same stillness is here.
The same awareness unchanged.
Life will continue to shift and change.
Thoughts will return.
But the wholeness,
The wholeness that you are,
Forever remains untouched.
That is the deepest healing.
No striving.
Just being what you already are.
Thank you for resting here with me today.
Namaste.
