Being Compassionate With Challenging Experiences

All right,

So yeah,

Just letting your body find a spot to get comfortable with.

Maybe you're already comfortable,

But just seeing,

Just asking yourself in this moment,

Is this the position I want to be in?

Is there another position?

Do I want to just give myself a chance to wiggle a little bit or resituate or just ask my body,

Is this the,

Are we in a good position here?

And I'm doing the same.

Yeah,

And then when you feel that position that feels good enough,

Then we just notice with the eyes open,

Maybe just noticing the posture of the body without wanting to change it per se,

But just with their eyes open to see it,

To see like,

Ah,

This is where I'm situated,

In this chair or in this bed,

In this room,

And to let your eyes calibrate to some simple things in your room,

Simple walls,

Simple ceiling,

Maybe simple floor.

If you see it,

Maybe you don't see it,

But so we're on purpose,

Inviting our brains through our attention to connect to actual factual.

An actual factual is just what is,

It's not,

It's kind of underneath what is right or wrong or good or bad.

So there's a plant in front of me,

There's an actual factualness of a plant.

Now if I jump in with,

Oh,

I haven't been watering it,

Or should I water it more?

Now I'm out of that actual factual brain,

I'm into it more of a critiquing brain,

Which isn't bad,

It's just different.

So we're really inviting the part of our brain that's just actual factual,

Just,

There's a plant,

It's not disputable,

It's not right,

It's not wrong,

It's not good or bad,

But there is a plant there.

And I'm going to try on the perspective that I don't need to manage it,

Fix it,

Change it,

And analyze it.

And it really might,

It might require some effort to connect to the part of my brain that can see it as simple,

Simply a plant,

A plant.

And so in your own space,

Just noticing what that is.

Maybe it's a color somewhere,

Or a shadow,

Or a shape.

We're just inviting our eyes to see that,

To kind of hang out there with that shape or shadow or color,

Or object.

Kind of almost blankly look at it,

Kind of,

Or just kind of gazing at it,

But not to figure it out,

Not to analyze it.

Just kind of softly,

As we might say,

Look at this object.

And breathing still happening.

Sitting still happening.

We can stay with that one object,

Or we can move to another object,

Do the same thing.

Something in our eyesight.

It's so simple.

One of my favorite old ones is like the texture of the wall.

Just noticing,

Just kind of gazing at the texture of the wall or the ceiling,

Without any need to analyze it,

Judge it,

Manage it,

Critique it.

It's just what it is.

And then just letting the eyes kind of gently close,

And doing the same thing with another sense receptor.

So I'll let you choose.

It could be sound,

Could be smell,

Could be taste.

The invitation is to,

In the same way,

Connect to that sense receptor,

Whether it's a sound,

Or a taste,

Or a smell.

Connecting to just what simply is coming in through the nose,

Or the ears,

Or the tongue,

Without trying to analyze it,

Or make it different.

For me,

I'm noticing the hum of the fan.

I don't need to manage it,

Fix it,

Make it wrong,

Make it bad,

Make it,

Analyze it.

You know,

It's just the hum of the fan.

It's,

For me,

It's simple.

If it wasn't simple,

I would not want that to be the locus of my attention.

I would move to something different.

I might even turn off the fan.

That would be completely fine.

We're really inviting the brain to calibrate with something very factual,

Very actual factual,

In this moment,

Through a sound,

Through a taste,

Through a smell.

Still breathing,

Still sitting,

And then slowly moving our attention to something of the sense perception of touch.

So something of the sitting body.

Our relationship with gravity is a common one that we can connect to pretty easily.

The way,

For example,

Our sit bones are in the chair,

Or the pillow is behind the back,

Or the feet might be on the floor.

Those kind of touch points.

But it could be how air is on the skin,

Or how the hands are resting.

So just letting your attention come to some experience that you're having in this moment that's simple.

For me,

I don't need to manage my feet on the floor.

I can feel my toes on the carpet,

And the carpet underneath my feet,

And I can wiggle the toes.

I can move my feet a little bit to get to know the carpet.

But I don't need to manage anything,

Fix anything.

It's not right or wrong,

Or good or bad.

But I can feel that texture,

That experience of feet on floor.

So in your own way,

Finding something simple in your sitting or reclining experience,

Or if you were standing in your standing experience,

Any posture,

We've got gravity still.

Something simple,

Something actual,

Factual.

Now we,

Our brains are very habitualized to analyzing.

So it would be normal if our attention starts to go to analytical thoughts,

Or managing thoughts,

Should,

Supposed to,

Have to,

Am I doing it right,

Or any kind of variety of managing,

Fixing,

Analyzing thoughts.

That's just normal.

It's what our brains are mostly habitualized to do.

So if you notice that,

That's normal.

We're just seeing if there's something occurring here underneath the right,

Wrong,

Good,

Or bad.

Something that's so,

Maybe even boring-ish,

So actual,

Factual,

That doesn't require that.

Could be through a temperature,

Or a texture,

Or pressure.

Maybe the way the hand is pressing into the lap,

For example,

Could be somebody's experience of simple,

Actual,

Factual.

We're not denying that there's sounds,

Or smells,

Or tastes,

Or touches,

That maybe we are inclined to manage,

Or don't like,

Or want to analyze,

Or aren't simple.

There might be sounds that we,

That aren't simple,

We don't like,

Or sensations,

That touches,

Different sensations that we're having,

That we don't like so much.

So we're not denying that everything is actual,

Factual.

We're not denying,

I mean,

That things are challenging,

That things might be challenging,

Or uncomfortable,

Or whatnot.

In this moment,

We're inviting the neural pathways of actual,

Factual to wake up.

So on purpose,

We might need to use a little effort to bring attention to some simple experiences,

And really get to know them,

Getting,

Kind of waking up this part of the brain that's,

Connects us to the present moment of right now.

So we can ask ourselves,

What is so simple right here,

Right now,

That I don't need to change or fix?

Could be the way your left pinky is resting on your lap.

Could be the way that your eyes are closed.

It could be your armpits.

Could be like a million possibilities,

But we're just letting our attention kind of meander.

What is,

What doesn't need to be different in this moment,

Experientially?

And just kind of noticing that.

Like,

Oh,

I don't need to change my exhalation was what just came in for me.

Don't need to manage the exhalation,

It's just happening.

But you'll have your own.

I'm just going to be quiet for a few moments here.

And again,

It's,

It's really valid for there to be things that you do want to manage in your life,

Or even in this moment.

Like,

Yeah,

That's,

That's valid,

It's understandable.

And even just to have a little compassion with,

With ourselves,

Like,

Oh,

That thing happening in life right now.

Oh,

Right,

Wrong,

Good or bad,

I do want to manage that.

Or I gosh,

I really want to fix that thing that's happening,

Like,

Or really wanting to analyze whatever,

Like,

Yeah.

So understandable.

Maybe that touches even just naming that maybe that touches something inside of your body,

In the chest or the belly.

Maybe there's even a sensation that you're having that's uncomfortable.

Yeah,

We have all sorts of experiences that have comfort and discomfort.

So in this moment,

When we consider or have compassion for things in our life that are challenging,

We might also notice a challenging sensation.

And then we can try on compassion for that as well.

Like,

Oh,

Yeah.

That feeling in the chest or that feeling in the belly or wherever,

Like,

Yeah,

That's,

That has some challenge to it and discomfort.

Yeah.

And nearby.

There's probably also something simple happening.

A different way of saying that is the discomfort that we might be experiencing might be 5% of our entire experience.

So we want to,

We want to acknowledge or and include the rest of us.

Maybe the arms and the legs are perfectly fine.

Even experiencing ease.

So it's a yes.

And yes,

There's some,

Maybe discomfort in a certain location.

And there's some ease in other locations.

It's kind of hanging out with the both and maybe using a little extra effort to keep including and waking up these neural pathways that are connecting to actual factual this moment,

Right now.

Kind of noticing those experiences that are rooted in simplicity,

Or that are your kind of root experiences or your grounded,

We could call them grounded experiences that are feel kind of grounded to you.

Simple experiences that right now your attention can come back to as an actual factual simple experience to just hang out with resting in those simple anchored experiences,

We might also call them anchoring experiences,

Or anchoring sensations.

Just another moment or two.

Stay with these anchoring experiences.

Maybe they're related to breath in some way,

Maybe they're not.

Maybe in the rest of your day,

You come back to this anchoring experience again and again.

Have you might invite yourself to re remember it?

Like,

Oh,

Yeah,

Where's that anchoring experience?

It's so simple.

That reminds me or wakes up the part of my brain that connects to actual factual,

To simpleness,

To aspects of my moment that don't need to be fixed or managed.

And that they just are simply are.

And when you're ready,

You can just let the eyes softly open,

We'll come back to the screen.